Who Gets Drunk And Then Thinks About Insurance?

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2021

I’m working at an insurance office. Most of the time, customers come into the office in person or call if they need insurance questions answered. There is also a service hotline that they can call that is not directly connected to the office where I work.

When I get to work one day, around half past eight, there is a drunk customer waiting in front of the office already. He immediately starts berating me.

Customer: “Why are you still closed?! You’re supposed to be open at 8:20!”

I point at the door where the hours are printed.

Me: “We open at 9:00.”

Customer: *Angry* “I have a letter that states you open at 8:20!”

I’ve worked at this office for about two years and we have never opened before nine. The customer drunkenly starts ruffling through the letter of proof from a bag to show me. He takes several minutes to find the information and then points to it, shouting:

Customer: “See, it’s 8:20!”

He pointed at the service hours of the hotline, which were 8:00 to 20:00. I pointed this out to him, and he was NOT happy.

Naturally, I did not let him enter before 9:00. I already knew what he wanted, so I prepared everything for him to give a signature only. His stay lasted under three minutes, but regardless, the offices reeked of alcohol afterward and I had to struggle not to vomit.

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A Fee-ble Attempt At Avoiding The Fees, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2021

We rent out our chapel for funerals with a slight discount if they’re using the crematorium, as well. One family requested a three-hour service using both but started to balk at the price, so they chopped the first hour off the service and seemed happier with the price.

Fast forward to the day of the service. I’m doing some other work when I see that the family has arrived an hour early to start. I pop my head into our office to see if they’d changed their minds about paying the larger price and it hadn’t gotten to me. Immediately, our administrator stalks off to find the family.

After some discussion with them, it turned out they’d just figured it would be fine if they came early. They were quite unhappy when they found out that they would have to pay the three-hour fee if they wanted in our chapel early. We’ve allowed leeway before with other families, but never by that much, and certainly not when it comes across as skirting our fees. 

A Fee-ble Attempt At Avoiding The Fees

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It’s Not Our Fault You Were Waiting Before We Opened

, , , , , , | Right | March 8, 2021

My store manager opens the store while I man the registers. A few customers enter straight away. I am serving a customer who is almost finished, literally about to pay, when two more customers queue up. I can see that my next customer only has three items, so I know that this will be a fast transaction.

Me: *To my current customer* “Here’s your receipt and have a nice day!” *To the queue* “Next, please!”

The third customer in line suddenly speaks up.

Customer #3: “Oh, my God, isn’t there anyone else in this d*** store that can help serve? I’m in a rush and I’ve been waiting forever!

Me: “I’m sorry, but the only other person in the store is my store manager, and he’s on the phone right now.”

That’s not technically a lie; he did mention having to make a phone call after opening the store.

Customer #3: “This is ridiculous! I’m in a rush to get to work, and I have been waiting for ten minutes!

Me: “Ma’am, it is currently 8:37 am. We have only been open for seven minutes.”

Customer #3: “Oh.”

The customer is quiet during her whole transaction and practically snatches the receipt out of my hand when I offer it to her. As she rushes out, I put on my fakest polite voice I can muster.

Me: “You have a lovely day!”

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Wait Until They Find Out What Seven-Eleven Really Means

, , , | Right | February 28, 2021

I grew up in a small town where most things close at 6:00 pm and don’t even open on Sunday, but I have moved to a big city nearby. I call the grocery store by my house on a Sunday afternoon to find their hours.

Me: “Hi, what time do you close today?”

Grocery Store: “Eleven today.”

Me:At night?!

Grocery Store: “…”

Me: “Umm… sorry… Thank you.”

I am an idiot.

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Time Is Relative-ly Stupid

, , , , | Right | February 27, 2021

I am a hostess at a restaurant. This phone call takes place around 7:30 pm.

Customer: “Hi, do you have a table for three people?”

Me: “Yes, I do! What time would you like to come in?”

Customer: “In about an hour.”

Me: “Okay, so, 8:30?”

Customer: “No, that is much too late for us!”

The customer hung up and I was left staring at the phone in bewilderment.

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