Arriving Panting, Not Pantless

, , , , , , | Working | February 13, 2020

I am not a morning person, but at this point in my life, I was not taking classes and had other part-time jobs that started later in the day, so I was scheduled for five 5:00 am shifts every week at a fast food restaurant. It’s about a 15-minute commute and I value my sleep, so I generally wake up at 4:15 am, shower, get dressed, and go.

One day, I slept through my alarm and woke up at 4:45 am. I jumped out of bed, forwent showering, quickly got dressed, and started driving, intending to call as soon as I hit the road and let the manager know I was late but on my way.

Backing out of the driveway on this autumn morning, I felt colder than I usually do. I looked down to discover that in my haste, I had forgotten to put on pants. I ran back inside, put on said pants, and was back on the road. By this time, it was about ten minutes after five, and my manager called me, instead. Wanting to be hands-free, I put it on speakerphone and yelled, “I’m on my way! I’m late! I had to go back because I forgot my pants!”

I arrived to see a manager and coworkers laughing and teasing me, not understanding how one could forget putting on pants. Luckily, nobody was angry, just amused.

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Your Lateness Is Not The Theme Of This Movie

, , , | Right | February 4, 2020

(I am at the movies with my sister and boyfriend. I am paying for my sister and myself, and my boyfriend is waiting behind us so he can pay for himself. As I’m paying, a middle-aged lady walks in and stands behind my boyfriend. It is a slow day and there is only one employee.)

Lady: *interrupting my transaction* “Has [Movie] started yet? I think I’m late!”

Employee: “I’m not sure; it might still be finishing up the previews.”

(I finish paying and tell my boyfriend that we are going to go sit down while he pays and we will meet him in the theater. The other lady is still talking about how she’s late and going to miss her movie.)

Lady: *to my boyfriend* “Are you going to be long?”

Boyfriend: “Can I have a ticket to the same movie as them in front of me? Let me take a look at the drinks.” *after a moment* “Can I have a bottle of water, please?”

Lady: “I… I’m late for my movie. It already started. I have to go. I’ll pay later.”

Employee: *calling after her* “Ma’am, I, uh…”

(She LEAVES to go find her movie WITHOUT PAYING. The theater recently switched companies, and the new one does not display which movies are playing in each room. I double-check my ticket and am most of the way down the hall to my theater when the other customer calls after me.)

Lady: *realizing she has no clue where her movie is* “Ladies! What movie are you seeing?”

Me: “[Kids’ Movie that we arrived early for].”

Lady: *huffs away*

(The best part is that her friend came in looking for her while my boyfriend was paying. Why would she not wait and buy a ticket, especially since she had someone else with her?! My boyfriend would have let her go in front of him if she had just asked, but instead he took his time since she was rude about it. Either arrive earlier or deal with missing the first few minutes.)

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With Climate Change, Who Can Tell These Days?

, , , , | Learning | February 4, 2020

(It is February at the beginning of art class. One of my classmates, [Student #1], isn’t the smartest person.)

Teacher: “Remember to put the date on your paper.”

Student #1: “What’s the date?”

Everyone: “The 19th.”

Student #1: “But what month?”

Student #2: *obviously joking* “July.”

(End of class:)

Teacher: “And don’t forget the date; just write 2/19 on the bottom of your paper.”

Student #1: *confused but completely sincere* “But why would it be 2/19 if it’s July?”

(I’m still confused as to how she thought it was actually July. There were three feet of snow on the ground and we were still in the second quarter of school.)

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When You Have Nothing But H8

, , , , , | Right | February 3, 2020

(I’m working at the front desk of an assisted living facility, and a visitor comes up to speak with me. He has a very imperious tone throughout.)

Visitor: “Will there be someone here at 8:00 sharp tomorrow morning to open these doors?”

Me: “Yes. Actually, I will be here tomorrow. I will be here at 8:00, probably a few minutes earlier.”

Visitor: “But someone will be here right at 8:00 am? So I can get in to get my father for his appointment?”

Me: “Yes. I will be at this desk to open the doors at 8:00 am.”

Visitor: “You’re positive someone will be here at 8:00 in the morning to open the doors.”

Me: “Yes. I will be here at 8:00 tomorrow morning. I promise.” *starting to mentally lose my cool*

Visitor: *irritated sigh* “There had better be someone to let me in at 8:00 tomorrow morning.”

Me: *stares as he stomps off*

(True to my word, I am at my desk at 7:58 am. Eight hits and there’s no visitor. I shrug and get on with my work. At 8:45 am, he walks through the door.)

Me: “Oh, hello! I thought you were going to be here at 8:00 this morning.”

Visitor: “I changed his appointment time. I didn’t think anyone would be here.”

Me: *loses faith in humanity*

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The Start Of The Order Is Only The Beginning

, , , , , | Working | January 31, 2020

(I am renovating a house so I do considerable business with the local hardware store. Trying not to be overwhelmed by all that needs to be done, I tend to get the things I need one or two projects at a time. One weekend, I decide my projects will be to build the shelves in the laundry room and to power-wash the front deck. Friday night, I go to the website for the hardware store and order the supplies for the shelves for in-store pickup the next day. Saturday morning, I check my email and see that they’ve received the order. I set up what is needed to clean the deck and get started, finishing around 11:00 am, and check my email. Nothing. That is disappointing but I have a small garden chore that I can tackle. I finish that at noon and check my email again. There is an email saying my order is ready. I get cleaned up and sit down for a leisurely lunch. At 1:15, I head for the hardware store. Just before 1:30, I am standing at the pick-up desk waiting for someone to get off the phone to help. He hangs up and asks my name.)

Clerk: “Okay, that will be a little while. They are just starting.”

Me: “I got an email over an hour ago saying it was ready.”

Clerk: “Yeah, well, we’re busy on the weekends so they haven’t finished it.”

Me: “I’m busy, too. That’s why I ordered ahead. I got an email an hour ago saying it was ready. Are you telling me it hasn’t been started?”

Clerk: “They send the email when they start it.”

Me: “They shouldn’t send the email until they finish it. But it isn’t a huge order.”

Clerk: “We’re pretty busy so it will take a while.”

Me: “If I came in and picked out ten 2x4s, two sheets of plywood, and a package of nails, it wouldn’t take me more than twenty minutes. The email was sent over an hour ago. The email that said it was ready. Don’t you think it is ridiculous to send that email before an order is ready?”

Clerk: “Yeah.”

Me: “Cancel the order.”

Clerk: “But it will be ready soon.”

Me: “Clearly not soon enough.”

(I went home, extremely annoyed, and called the store asking what the policy was for in-store pickup orders. I was told that they do actually generate the email when they start the order, not when they finish. I emailed the corporate office to spell out why that is not helpful. I also ordered ready-made shelves from another company. The small cost difference was well worth not having to get out the saw and drill or clean up the dust. I don’t have a lot of choices for hardware stores in this town but when I’m in neighboring towns, I’ll often stop by stores there to pick up things I need. I’d guess my total spending at the local store has dropped by over 70%. It will make very little difference to their bottom line but I feel better about it.)

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