Technically, That Tree Is Already Dead

, , , | Working | June 23, 2020

Coworker #1: *Under her breath* “Do I choose lazy or do I choose the tree?”

Coworker #2: “Excuse me?”

Coworker #1: “Well, I can’t remember if I printed the document or not, so I’m just now pondering: do I choose to be lazy and print again so that I don’t have to take a second trip to the printer or do I save a tree by checking the printer first?”

Coworker #2: “I would choose the tree.”

[Coworker #1] waits a moment and then goes to check the printer. She comes back empty-handed.

Coworker #1: *Muttering* “I should have chosen lazy.”

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Don’t Bypass The Signs

, , , , | Healthy | June 21, 2020

I’m sitting across from [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2] comes up to him.

Coworker #2: “I need you to drive [Coworker #3] home; he is not feeling well. He has chest paint, is short of breath, his left arm hurts…”

Basically, insert all symptoms of a heart attack here.

Me: *A bit incredulously* “I’m no doctor, but that sounds as if he needs to go to the ER instead of home.”

Coworker #1: *Looks at me assessingly* “I think [My Name] is right. He needs a doctor.”

Coworker #2: “No, no, he wants to go home.”

[Coworker #1] went to check on [Coworker #3] and I saw them leaving. An hour later, [Coworker #3] was on the operating table, having a triple bypass.

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Maybe He’s A Born-Again Christian?

, , | Right | June 19, 2020

I work in the call center of a medical insurance company. The insured are from all over the world. In this particular instance, the caller is from Africa.

Me: “Good morning. [Firm], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Client: “I saw that you used my first date of birth, May 2, 1969, but this should be my second date of birth, August 16, 1971.”

Me: “I’m sorry we got your birth date wrong.”

Client: “No, no, you used my first date of birth; you need to use my second date of birth.”

Me: “What do you mean by your second—”

Client: “August 16, 1971, not May 2, 1969. Have you got that?!”

Me: “I wrote it down, but can you explain to me—”

Client: “You better not mess this up again. You have to use my second date of birth.” *Click*

It’s been over five years, but I still have no idea how someone can be born twice, especially since the dates were nothing alike; it was not like we mistyped a number or had the wrong year.

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Manager, Manage!

, , , , | Working | June 17, 2020

I recently bought a little manicure set, the kind that you can fit in your purse, in some kind of “dollar shop” where they have cheap products but from decent quality.

My mother is in the hospital for a few weeks and asks me if I can buy her one of those sets so she can take care of her nails while there, so I go back to the store and see that they still have a lot of them, but instead of the one I bought, they’re not wrapped in plastic with the barcode on them. 

I check the basket they’re in to see if there’s any plastic with the barcode to take to the cash register, but I don’t find any.

I figure they’ll know what to do at the cash register and go on with my shopping. When I’m at the register, this conversation happens with the manager. I go there often and know that the lady at the cash register is the manager and not just a cashier.

Manager: “There’s no barcode on this.”

She gestures to the manicure set.

Me: “Oh, they were all like this; I didn’t find any with the code on it.”

Manager: “I can’t scan this with no code.”

I’m a bit speechless. I don’t know what to say or do at this reaction.

Me: “Um, okay…”

Manager: “You should have asked somebody to get a code on this.”

Me: “Well, I browsed the whole store—” *I did!* “—and didn’t see anybody from the store, to be honest.” 

I really didn’t see anybody!

Manager: “You should have searched for somebody and asked to put a code on this.”

Me: “Was I supposed to, I don’t know, enter the breakroom and get somebody? Wouldn’t that be your job? Like now, can’t you just call someone, or check on your computer for a code or something?”

Manager: “Next time, ask somebody.”

Me: “Next time, make sure your products are labelled properly. It’s not a customer’s job to do so.”

She kept muttering, “You should have asked somebody,” the whole time. She eventually managed to — manually — scan the manicure set, and I could finally pay and leave.

The sad thing is, this kind of thing happens quite often in that store.

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This Is Why We Have To Have These Rules

, , , | Friendly | June 16, 2020

Due to circumstances, we had to rely on the foodbank for a while. The way they operate is that you need proof of low income to register and then pay ten euro a week for a box of groceries. These are usually goods close to the sell-by date. If you skip a week, you still need to pay the fee; if you skip three weeks, you’re out. This is, of course, to avoid abuse.

I’m in line to pick up my goods and in front of me is another customer getting irate because he is removed from the list for skipping four weeks in a row. There is some discussion, a manager gets involved, and because he has kids, the manager agrees to add him again to the list, but he needs to pay the fee for the past weeks by way of a fine.

The customer, still irate, says, “I’m not going to pay the fine. I’ve been to Spain with my family; have you any idea how expensive that is?”

Strangely, he was blacklisted after this.

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