Email Trail, Meet Vicious Cycle

, , , , | Working | September 16, 2019

Over the weekend, our email was migrated and on Monday, none of them were working except for two coworkers. Our team leader raised an incident report. On Tuesday, still no email.

After lunch, our team leader decided to check the incident board. The incident was closed.

Reason: “No response received on email.”

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Unfiltered Story #163229

, | Unfiltered | September 13, 2019

Our store is having a sale on chicken thighs: buy 1 kilo get 1 free. They are sold in packs of 1 kilo. Some stories that happened during just the first 4 hours.

Customer: “Could you tell me which part of the chicken the thigh is?”

Me: It’s the upper portion of the leg. (I show it on my own leg.)

One hour and a half later… The customer has come back, again!

Same customer (to another customer): “I asked someone from the shop earlier, but could you tell me which part of the chicken the tigh comes from? Does it come from the back?”


Customer: “The sale is two for one, right?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “So I get two packs, and then a third one free?”

Saddly, this happens several times a day. The urge to throw packs of chicken thighs at customers has never been greater!

Youth Is Wasted On The Young

, , , , | Friendly | September 2, 2019

(I’m riding on a tram opposite a mother and two teenage daughters. They are babbling about school and how long it takes.)

Teen: *with all the drama a girl that age can bring* “Fifteen years going to school? That really ruins your life.”

Me: “Honey, enjoy. After that, you need to work for 45 years. That is three times as much.”

Teen: *panicky* “And when is it time to enjoy life?”

(Her mother couldn’t contain her laughter anymore. Neither could I.)

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Pixar And Lego: Opiates For The Under-Sevens

, , , | Related | September 1, 2019

(I’m moving and my brother and his family are helping me, including my five-year-old niece. They uncover a big box of Lego that I totally forgot about.)

Niece: *with a look on her face as if she’d discovered a treasure trove* “Can I have it?”

Me: *checking out the box and looking at my sister-in-law* “According to the box, it is for ages seven to twelve, so she is too young.”

Sister-In-Law: “No worries; I have a husband in that age group.”

(My brother is an avid collector of figurines featuring VW bus or Beetle.)

Brother: *yelling from the next room* “It has a Fillmore in it.”

Me: “Guess that is decided, then.”

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Here Comes The Needle Aeroplane!

, , , | Healthy | August 8, 2019

(I’m travelling to a faraway place and need to get a few recommended vaccinations. I registered with a local GP after moving, but didn’t go before, since I’m a pretty healthy person and never really needed a reason. Note: our health service recommends getting regular pap smears at age 25. I’m a bit older than that, and just never got around to doing so. On the day of this appointment, I’m wearing jeans, a hoodie, and sneakers. The doctor gets ready to give me my injections.)

Doctor: “All right, little lady, here comes the needle! Prick!”

(I don’t look my age but I definitely don’t look as young as whoever she’s talking to.)

Doctor: “And now for a little bandaid… There we go!”

(I look at my arm, half expecting a glitter or cartoon character bandaid. The doctor asks me if there is anything else I need.)

Me: “Well, I think I should have been getting regular pap smears for a while, but never got around to it. Can I just have that done here?”

Doctor: “Oooh, there’s no need for that yet, you’re only…” *looks at my file* “Oh. Okay. Yes, you can just make an appointment with us and we’ll take care of it.”

(She’s still my GP and never talked to me like that again, but I’m wondering how old she thought I was!)

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