Our summer frozen dessert stand has a tropical theme. There is a signpost with arrows and distances pointing to various distant beaches and other vacation destinations. One says, “Tahiti — 6,089 miles.”
Teenager #1: “Tahiti. What’s that?”
Teenager #2: “I think it’s some kind of sauce made from sesame seeds.”
Due to the health crisis, we have a new line system around the soda machines and a dedicated staff member whose job is to pour drinks for the customers. There are also stanchions around the soda machines to keep people away from them. It’s done this way to encourage social distancing and to avoid having too many people crowded around the machines at any given point, in addition to avoiding having too many people touching them. The customers pay for drinks at the concession stand and then bring their receipts over to the drink machines to get their drinks. I will also note that we offer free courtesy cups of water at the soda machines if you just need a small drink but don’t want to buy a soda. A group of teenagers comes up to the soda station: two girls and two boys.
Girl #1: “Can I have a cup?”
Me: “Sure, what for? I can give you a free courtesy cup of water if you’d like.”
Girl #1: “I just want a cup.”
Me: “All righty.”
I hand her a courtesy cup.
Girl #1: “Oh, can I have one of your large cups?”
Me: “Sorry, I can only give you a large cup if you paid for a large drink. Did you pay for a large drink at the concession stand?”
Girl #1: “No.”
Me: “Sorry, then I can’t give you a large cup.”
Girl #1: “Okay.”
I turn back to the group and ask them if there’s anything else I can do for them, when [Girl #1] ducks under the stanchion, and begins tapping on the screen of one of the soda machines.
Me: “Excuse me, you can’t be back here. Please do not touch the soda machines.”
Girl #1: “Why?”
Me: “Due to the health crisis, we have a staff member doing drinks. That’s why I’m standing here and there are stanchions around the machines.”
Girl #1: “Um… I just wanted water, dude.”
Me: “And I can get you water, but you cannot be behind the stanchions. They’re there to keep the machines blocked off.”
[Girl #1] looks a bit flustered but ducks back around to the front of the stanchion. I take her courtesy cup and fill it with water.
Girl #1: *Very snooty* “Thank you for getting my water!”
[Boy #1] steps forward.
Boy #1: “Yo, lemme get a large blue icee!”
Me: “Did you pay for an icee at the concession stand?”
Boy #1: “Um… no?”
Me: “You can purchase one over there and bring me the receipt, and then I can get you one.”
Boy #1: “C’mon! Just gimme one!”
Me: “No.”
[Boy #1] goes silent.
Boy #2: “Can I get a large Coke?”
Me: “I can get you one, but you’ll need to pay first at the concession stand.”
Boy #2: “But she got water!”
Me: “I can give you a water cup, but I can’t give you a large soda unless you’ve paid for one.”
Boy #2: “You can’t just give me a large soda?”
Me: “No.”
[Boy #2] goes silent. [Girl #2] steps up.
Girl #2: “Can I get two water cups?”
Me: “Absolutely.”
Girl #2: “…but fill them with blue icee!”
Me: “I can give you water. If you want an icee, you’ll have to pay for one at the concession stand.”
Girl #2: “Yeah, but I want water cups full of icee.”
Me: “Again, I can give you water for free. If you want an icee, you’ll have to pay for one at the concession stand.”
Girl #2: “Just give me one water cup, then.”
I gave her the water cup and the group dispersed and went to their theater. Their show was the last of the night, and they were pretty much my last customers, so I started to shut down the machines shortly after they left to clean them.
About twenty minutes later, I was standing in another part of the lobby when one of the boys came out and began toying with the icee machine, trying to turn it on. I ended up having to chase him off after reminding him that customers were not allowed behind the stanchions.
And then, about fifteen minutes later, one of the girls came out and tried to do the exact same thing. After giving them a firm warning that I’d have no problems kicking them out without a refund if they kept messing with the machines and trying to steal icees, they finally stopped.
Doncha love teenagers?
Two boys, around fourteen years old, walk in and just stand inside the door, hands in their pockets, not looking at anything. I walk over.
Me: “Hello. Can I help you?”
Boy #1: “Yeah, we need books.”
Me: “What kind of books?”
Boy #1: “Dunno. Books.”
Me: “For yourself? Or as a gift for somebody?”
Boy #1: “Ourselves.”
Boy #2: “We’ve got detention and the teacher said to bring a book to read.”
Me: “Ah, I see. What kind of books do you like?”
Boy #1: “Dunno.”
Me: “Would you like to look around and see what we’ve got?”
Boy #2: “Nah, you show us.”
I start at the nearest display.
Me: “Do you guys like to take pictures?”
Boy #1: “Yeah, I guess.”
Me: “Here are some books about photography. This one’s about cameras and lenses and so on, and this one shows how to take a great photo with just the right colours and lighting. Would you like to look at them?”
Boy #1: “Nah, sounds boring.”
Me: “No photography books, then. Do you like scary stories?”
Boy #1: “Yeah, I guess.”
The two of them are “Yeah-I-guess” interested in adventure, technology, sci-fi, true crime, cars, animals, foreign countries, history, philosophy, whodunnits, superheroes, Norse mythology, politics, and romance.
Every book I suggest either “Nah-sounds-boring” or “Nah-looks-too-long.” They never take their hands out of their pockets. I wonder if I should send them to the library just to get them off my hands.
While I’m taking the two of them from display to shelf and from shelf to display, showing them everything except the preschool picture books, my coworker is helping other customers. The doorbell chimes and one of our regulars comes in.
Coworker: “Hello, Mrs. [Regular]! Over here.”
He pulls a book from a shelf and holds it out to her.
Regular: “That’s the one. Thank you!”
She follows my coworker to the till, buys the book, and leaves. My two teenagers have been watching.
Boy #2: “Why can’t you do what he does?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Boy #2: “He just looked at that lady and knew what book she wanted.”
Boy #1: “Yeah, why can’t you do the same thing for us?”
Boy #2: “Or maybe he should look at us and give us our books.”
I suppress a groan, turn a beginning facepalm into a hair-adjusting gesture, and switch my smile back on.
Me: “My coworker has a special gift. If you’d like, we can go over and ask him to find the books you want.”
I walk them over. My coworker must have heard what we said, because as we are approaching, he squints at [Boy #1], then closes his eyes, murmurs to himself, and says:
Coworker: “Yes, yes, I can see it. You want, you want—” *points in a random direction* “—that one!”
He’s pointing at the technology shelf. [Boy #1] walks over, pulls out a book about the history of cars, and says:
Boy #1: “Yeah, this one looks good.”
My coworker repeats the process with [Boy #2]. Both end up buying books that they didn’t want earlier when I suggested them. After they’re gone, I turn to my coworker.
Me: “Mrs. [Regular] called ahead, didn’t she?”
Coworker: *Grinning* “Yes, she did.”
Me: “Why do you always get the easy ones?”
I am on the bus. A group of teenagers are at the back and talking rather loudly, so I hear one say the following:
Teen: “You are being such an unexpected item in the bagging area now!”
After hearing more of the conversation, it turned out she works for the local supermarket!
I’m at work, working the donor door at a thrift shop. I’m running around sorting and taking donations while an eighteen-year-old kid is moving at a snail’s pace.
Me: “Move faster; we need to clear out some space on the floor.”
Eighteen-Year-Old: “Why are you such a b****?”
I stop.
Me: “Why can’t you do your d*** job?”
Our manager, who has been on the other side sorting stuff, addresses my coworker.
Manager: “Clock out. And do not ever speak to her like that again.”
I loved him that day! Two days later, the kid left for lunch and never came back. I didn’t care. If you are eighteen and healthy and an asthmatic thirty-year-old and a diabetic fifty-eight-year-old can kick your butt after a month, reassess your life.
