This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

When I worked at a pizza store, we got this new worker right out of high school. This kid was a moron. Other than trying to annoy my coworkers and me to the point of at least three different altercations, this guy was just… dumb.

But the straw that broke the camel’s back was after he got transferred to another store.

This takes place during the cusp of the global health crisis becoming an actual issue that people were taking seriously.

This business being a franchise, the managers have a group chat to keep up to date on each other’s stores.

[New Worker] calls out sick… with a fever of 105F. Okay, you are having brain issues at that temperature, but the manager (of the other store) is willing to give him a pass.

But then, [New Worker] wanders into my store. We had heard about “105 Kid”, and to see him walk in is a surprise.

The kid genuinely thought he could just hang out with his old coworkers for the day. The kid can’t understand why everyone in the store is yelling at him to go home and stay away.

He’s sick. Go HOME!

Oh, but he just lied because he doesn’t want to work at the other store. He’s bored.

Well, I hope he can fix his boredom while being unemployed.

I’m working at a summer camp, and we’re showing young campers around.

Camper: “What are… f**ky lights?”

Me: “What are… what?!“

Camper: “F**ky lights. I saw a sign that said, ‘Shower f**ky lights,’ but I don’t know the word.”

Camp Counselor: “[Camper], that word is pronounced ‘facilities.'” 

Camper: “Oh… are you sure?”

Counselor & Me: “Yes!”

This actually happened to a fellow homeschooling buddy of mine. She took her son for his driver’s license. Everything was good until they checked out the new license. It had her son’s middle name spelled wrong. Let’s say his middle name is Matthew and his family spells it Maphew. They immediately went back to the counter 

Mom: “Excuse me, but my son’s name is misspelled.”

Employee: “No, it’s not.”

Mom: “Ummm, yes, it is. We should know.”

Employee: “No, you spelled it wrong. I fixed it.”

Mom: “Ma’am. It’s clearly spelled on his birth certificate, Social Security card, and all the legal documentation that was handed to you. Are you saying it’s spelled wrong on all of that?”

Employee: “Yes. It is spelled wrong.”

Mom: “No, it’s not, and I dont think you have the right to make that call. Please change it.”

Employee: “I dont see what the big deal is.”

Mom: “Well, for one, he is about to take the SAT, and it’s been made clear that the name must match the official ID used, especially for homeschoolers. Second, of course, that doesn’t really matter; it is his name, and he has a right to have it spelled correctly.”

Employee: “Ugh, stupid homeschoolers. It’s not my fault you dont even know how to spell your own name. Maybe you should get a real education.”

Mom: “My son came in second at the state spelling bee, so I think he has spelling down pat. Also, what you said is as offensive and unfounded, as if I made a comment about how kids who go to public schools can’t get a decent education. Get me your supervisor, NOW!”

She stomped off and a manager came out. When my friend explained what had happened, he was speechless. He apologized and immediately made a new license with the correct spelling of the young man’s name. My friend went to file a formal complaint a few days after she cooled down, and she was informed that woman was no longer employed there.

I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one. The company he has worked with for several decades trusts him with purchasing equipment.

My father-in-law was working on a piece of equipment when the owner of the company came into the garage. He told my father-in-law that the company needed some more pickup trucks and to go down to the dealership they dealt with and get a couple ordered. My father-in-law finished up what he was doing and drove over without changing his oil- and grease-covered mechanic’s overalls.

When he walked in, he saw a few salesmen sitting in a waiting area talking and laughing. One of them had his picture on the wall behind him as a top salesman for the dealership. My father-in-law walked over and began to introduce himself.

Father-In-Law: “Hi, I’m [Father-In-Law], and I am from—”

Salesman: “Yeah, yeah. Look, we don’t have time right now for lookers. We are pretty busy.”

Father-In-Law: “I’m here to buy.”

The salesman looked him up and down.

Salesman: *With a smirk* “Yeah, okay. Go over to that office and the new guy can deal with you.”

[Father-In-Law] went over to the office and saw a young man at a desk eating a sandwich. When he saw my father-in-law, the young man put his food down, stood up, walked over, and offered his hand to shake.

Young Man: “Hello, sir. Welcome to [Dealership]. How can I help you today?”

Father-In-Law: “My name is [Father-In-Law]. Are you new?”

Young Man: “Yes, sir. It’s my first week, but I promise you I will do my best to help you find the vehicle you want, and I have a great manager here that can help me with what I don’t know.”

[Young Man] took over three hours going around the lot, showing my father-in-law trucks, doing test drives, discussing what each truck came with, and offering financing options. The whole time, my father-in-law saw the other salesman laughing and smirking, doing pretty much nothing.

As they were sitting back at [Young Man]’s desk, [Father-In-Law] told him which truck he would be getting, but he wanted it in a specific color.

Young Man: “Oh, that is no problem. We can order it. And we need to set up the financing. “

Father-In-Law: “Great. I need seven of them. And this will be a cash sale.”

Young Man: “W… What did you say? 

Father-In-Law: “I said seven, cash, and it will be for [Construction Company].”

Young Man: “Will you please excuse me for a minute?”

At this point, the young man about ran out of the office and came back with the manager.  

Manager: “Well, hello, [Father-In-Law]! How are you? [Construction Company’s Owner] called me earlier and said you were coming in. How has my new salesman been treating you?”

Father-In-Law: “Beyond incredibly well, while your other salesman — who I think is one of your top producers — was pretty rude to me.”

Manager: *Angrily* “Is that so?”

Father-In-Law: “You have a real gem with this one. He didn’t judge me based on my appearance. He treated me like I was the only customer in the county. He took an incredible amount of time helping me find the best truck for our situation. He was respectful, friendly, and honest when he didn’t know the answer to a question. As long as he is here, this is the salesman [Construction Company] will be dealing with. And he’d better get the entire commission from this sale.”

The manager assured [Father-In-Law] that [Young Man] would. For a span of fifteen years, my father-in-law would not only order company vehicles from this salesman but also personal vehicles, and he recommended him to all his family and friends. He had great respect for the young man, who did very well for himself with his career. [Young Man] eventually was able to open his own dealership in the town and became the one the construction company always bought from.

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There are two [Pizza Chain] locations in the town where I live. We get our pizza for pickup from the one that doesn’t deliver to our side of town because the one that does is so remarkably incompetent. They’re the place that once insisted they didn’t know where [Road] was. I told them to look out their window. Yes, the location is on [Road]!

And they’re also the ones whose driver showed up over an hour late… without the pizza. Without anything. He just came to the door to say he didn’t have our order. I should mention it is about a five-minute drive to that location. He could have gone and gotten it when he realized he was missing an order; it’s not like it was going to be appreciably later at that point! He just didn’t, for no comprehensible reason.

Last night, these geniuses did it again. It was 1:00 am, and I was shutting down at my desk, preparing to go to bed. Suddenly, I saw someone on the porch via our doorbell camera. Someone was stacking pizza boxes (and one that looked suspiciously like either a brownie or bread twists) on our lockbox, with a car with a [Pizza Chain] lighted sign parked out front. I informed him that he had the wrong address. After he recovered from his surprise at hearing a doorbell talking to him and confirmed that I was sure I hadn’t ordered multiple pizzas in the middle of the night, he stacked it all up again, looked at his phone (which presumably was telling him the address), got back in his car, and drove off down the street. So, apparently, it wasn’t going to my next-door neighbors, either.

It was just weird, and yet another confirmation of why I don’t get delivery from that location. Once again, they were at totally the wrong address with an order — not to mention an almost entirely dark house at one in the morning.