Plainly Not Explaining Plainly Enough

, | UK | Working | September 12, 2016

(I am in a well-known burger chain restaurant ordering a take-out meal.)

Me: “A quarter-pounder with cheese medium meal, with fries and [Soda], and can the burger be plain, please?”

Cashier: “Do you want cheese on that?”

Me: “Yes, but nothing else, plain with just cheese.”

Cashier: “Would you like the meal?”

Me: “Yes, medium meal with fries and [Soda].”

Cashier: “What side would you like?”

Me: “Fries. And [Soda].”

Cashier: “Drink?”

Me: “[Soda]!”

Cashier: “Okay. So that’s a quarter-pounder with cheese, fries and a [Soda].”

Me: Please make sure the burger is plain, no ketchup or anything else.”

Cashier: “Right, plain. You should have said.” *to the cooks* “That order I just did for a quarter-pounder needs to be PLAIN.” *to me* “That will be just a few minutes.”

(Five minutes later she handed me my meal. I had large fries, a plain quarter-pounder with just meat, and a quarter-pounder with cheese and all toppings. Well, she tried.)

Your Thinking Is Far Left(Handed)

| Australia | Working | September 9, 2016

(We recently hired a new girl at the restaurant where I work. She has a “know-it-all” attitude and despite it being her first job, she deplores the practices at the restaurant and how we are “unprofessional.” She’s also a hardcore feminist, which we don’t have a problem with, but she insists on putting up posters of awareness around the place. This happened a few Saturdays ago. Note: we hand write the orders and have a column where the prices are placed.)

Me: “[New Girl], try not to write the orders in this column.” *points to show her*

New Girl: “I’m left handed. It’s not my fault!”

Me: *after a short pause* “Well, it kind of is, but it’s okay. Just start from the very far left next time.”

New Girl: “That’s like saying it’s your fault that you’re gay and you can’t get married.” *walks off*

(Needless to say, she quit the same evening due to my “homophobia.”)

Complaining To Have Nothing To Complain About, Part 2

| Long Island, NY, USA | Right | September 9, 2016

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “I’ve had a really bad day so far! I’ll have a double shot espresso with extra cream.”

Me: “Oh, no! I’ll make sure to give your order extra attention to try and cheer you up.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

(I make her coffee, and place it down on her table.)

Customer: “Wow, that was quick!”

Me: “Yeah, and just so you know, there’s cream and sugar on the table over by the entrance.”

Customer: “Thanks again.”

(About five minutes later she starts screaming at my coworker.)


Coworker: *on the verge of tears* “I’ll go get him…”

Customer: “These people…”

(My coworker comes over to me.)

Coworker: “[My Name], [Customer] wants you…”

Me: “I know…”

(I walk to her and she immediately starts yelling at me.)


Me: “Isn’t it good if the drink is better than you expected?”

Customer: “NO!”


Happy Birthday To You And You

| UK | Friendly | September 9, 2016

(My mum is working on her birthday one year when she receives this phone call. I happen to be by her at the time, as I am paying her a quick visit on my way home.)

Mum: *answering phone* “Hello, [Restaurant]. How can I help?”

Caller: “Hello, is that [Mum]?”

Mum: “Yes?”

Caller: *excitedly* “Hello, [Mum]! Happy Birthday!”

Mum: *slightly confused, as she didn’t recognise the caller’s voice* “Thank you?”

Caller: “Are you having a nice day?”

Mum: *still confused* “I’m having a lovely day, thank you…”

Caller: “Doing anything nice?”

Mum: “Well, I’m at work, so….”

Caller: “…work? This is [Mum]?”

Mum: “Yes”

Caller: “[Mum Different Surname]?”

Mum: “Um. No…”

Caller: “But it is your birthday?”

Mum: “Yes!”

Caller: *stunned* “Your name is [Mum] AND it’s your birthday… How weird!”

Mum: *laughs*

Caller: *excited again* “Well, have a lovely birthday, [Mum]! Nice talking to you!”

Mum: *laughing* Thanks, bye!” *hangs up* “Well, that was weird…”

In The Days Before The Phantom Was A Menace

| OH, USA | Right | September 9, 2016

(This takes place before the newer Star Wars movies came out (Episodes One, Two, and Three). I am cashing out customers at the front register. A man and woman come up.)

Me: “Hello. How was everything?”

Man: “It was great, young Jedi!”

Me: *dumbfounded*

Man & Woman: *chuckle*

Me: “All right… here is your change. Oh, and I’m not going to tell you to have a nice day… instead, I’m going to say…”

Me & The Man: “May the Force be with you.”

All Three: *chuckles*

Man: “Have a good day!”

(That made me smile.)

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