Tipped Against His Favor

| USA | Working | April 9, 2016

(I pop into a small cafe for a bite to eat. I have just volunteered at an animal shelter and am wearing old jeans and a sweatshirt. I sit down.)

Waiter: “Ugh, why’d someone like you have to sit in my section? You better leave me a tip!”

(He gave me the evil eye throughout my dinner. At the end of my meal I wrote a note that said: Here’s your tip — don’t immediately judge someone and insult them. I might be dressed like this but I’m actually a manager at Bank. Don’t be rude to your customers when they haven’t done anything to you. Enjoy your tip.)

New Heights Of Unreasonableness

| Northern Ireland, UK | Right | April 8, 2016

(It is a busy Saturday night in a 70-seater a-la-carte restaurant. My father is restaurant manager and I am wine waiter. Two quite drunk fellas wander into the restaurant and sit at a table which has been reserved. My father notices this and makes his way to the table.)

Customer: “Bring us a menu.”

Father: “Sorry, gents, but this table’s reserved. You’ll have to go onto the waiting list but I should point out there’s a 45 minute wait.”

Customer: “We’re not moving. Bring us a menu.”

Father: “I’m sorry, but I’ve explained that you will have to wait.”

(The other drunk customer gets agitated and pipes up.)

Other Customer: “Look, just bring us menus or I’ll kick your head in.”

Father: *who is 6 foot 2 inches* “Sir, if you can lift your leg that high, you deserve to kick my head in. Now piss off out of my restaurant.”

(They did…)

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Get The Man In Brown Before She Becomes The Woman In Brown

| NY, USA | Right | April 7, 2016

(During my first month working at my father’s sports bar I encounter a super-drunk woman in the bathroom while I am cleaning.)

Customer: *hugs me, speaking in a toddler voice*  “Can you help me? When older girls like me drink we get silly. I went to go potty and I sat down to go pee-pee and I forgot to pull down my undies.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Just look for the man in brown and say I need him.”

Me: “I think I’m gonna need more of a description than that.”

Customer: “MY HUSBAND! HE’S IN BROWN!”

Me: *incredibly startled* “Okay, can I have a name or a table number?”

(Eventually I tracked down the man, guided him to his pee-soaked wife, and got them out of the restaurant.)

Coworker: “Did I just hear that some lady pissed herself and then hugged you?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, you did.”

You Would Cry Too If It Happened To You

| USA | Friendly | April 7, 2016

(I am with my family at a restaurant. It is overbooked, so despite having reservations we are waiting in a room with many others. A very large man and a tiny old woman enter. The old woman is given a seat and she is speaking to the man, who is at least 40. After about ten minutes…)

Man: “MOM, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE TIRED! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY AND I WANT TO EAT HERE!”

(She says something inaudible to him and he replies.)

Man: “YOU CAN GO WAIT IN THE CAR IF YOU WANT! I WILL LEAVE YOU THERE FOR HOURS, MOM. I DON’T CARE! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY, UNDERSTAND?”

(After another ten minutes the pair decided to leave. The restaurant was a hibachi table where two families were often seated together, so I’m glad we didn’t have to end up with them!)

Mother Has A Drinking Problem

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Related | April 6, 2016

(My parents and I have just finished ordering our food at a local restaurant, when the waitress trips and a full glass of water that she was carrying dumps out into my mother’s purse.)

Waitress: “Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry!”

Mom: “That’s all right. My stuff just got a little bit wet; it’s nothing to worry about.”

(A few minutes later the manager comes by.)

Manager: “I’m sorry about that accident, and I just wanted to let you know that tonight your dinner’s on us.”

Mom: “Well, if the dinner is on you, the drinks are on me!”

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