Can’t Have Your Cake And Eat It, Part 2

| MN, USA | Working | August 14, 2016

(My manager, who is also the waitress, is known for having a huge sweet tooth. On this particular day someone has brought in a big bag of candy which she’s ‘hidden’ under the counter. Several of us have been sneaking pieces randomly.)

Manager: “[Bus Boy]! Stop eating that candy! What did I tell you?”

Me: *jokingly* “Hey, you don’t have to hog them. There’s plenty!”

Manager: “He’s diabetic though! He’s not supposed to eat so much sweets.”

Me: “Oh, dude. I know how to handle low blood sugars, but not high. Stop eating so many sweets.”

Busboy: “Oh, I’d just need an insulin shot! I have an emergency pen with me.”

Me: “I don’t know if I’d feel safe stabbing you with it though; I don’t have any experience.”

Busboy: *looking sad* “Aw, yeah, I understand.”

Other Cook: “Hey, when I worked on the farm I sometimes gave shots to the cows. That’s almost the same.”

Busboy: *looking bright again* “Yeah! That’d work!”

Me: “Oh, okay then. Have at.”

Manager: “Noooo! Those are MY candies!”


Bad Jokes Should Be Scratched

| Mesa, AZ, USA | Working | August 13, 2016

Coworker: “[Food Item]!”

Me: *starts making food item*

Coworker: “Scratch that food item!”

Me: *makes scratching gesture to the [Food Item]*

A Letter From Your Harshest Critics

| WI, USA | Learning | August 13, 2016

Manager: “Hey, come look at this letter!”

Me: “Who’s it from?”

Manager: “It’s one of the thank you letters from a group of elementary kids who came for a field trip last week.” *proudly reads letter aloud* “Dear [Business], thank you for showing us around. It was really cool to see how you make the ice cream. My favorite person was [Manager]. Love, [Child].”

Me: “Haha, that’s awesome.”

Manager: “Yeah, we’re keeping this one up on the walls.”

Coupon And On And On, Part 3

, | Canada | Right | August 11, 2016

(An older customer walks up to my cash register and hands me a coupon. I prepare to ring it in when I notice it’s for an item I am unfamiliar with. I am about to ask my coworker next to me about it when I notice another restaurant’s logo on it.)

Me: “Sir, this is an [Other Restaurant] coupon.”

Customer: “Is it expired?”

Me: “No. It’s for a different restaurant.”

Customer: “So, it’s no good?”

Me: “I’m sure it’s good, but at [Other Restaurant].”

(He then took the coupon back, looking very confused, and walked out without saying another word.)


The Customer Isn’t Always Wrong

| NY, USA | Right | August 10, 2016

(My mom, my sister, and I are in a doughnut shop. My mom has just tried a new coffee and discovered that she doesn’t like it.)

Mom: “Hi, I don’t really care for this drink, and I don’t want to dump it in the garbage can, because then it’ll leak on the poor garbage person. Can you pour this out in the sink?”

Worker: *obviously wary* “Sure… *takes cup*

Mom: “Thanks!”

Worker: *looks confused*

(As we leave the shop…)

Me: “I think he was expecting you to yell at him.”

Sister: “Why would she yell at him? It wasn’t his fault!”

Me: “Because sometimes, [Sister], people are irrationally angry at poor, hapless service workers.”

Mom: “I probably could have gotten a free drink if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to put him through that. It was my fault, anyway.”

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