Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

How Not To Courier Favor In The Marriage

, , | Right | October 13, 2010

(A customer calls about a delivery.)

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t guarantee your delivery by any certain time. If you look at the order you’ll see it says estimated delivery date.”

Caller: “I don’t care what it says. All I know is that it says today’s date between 8 am and 5 pm.”

Me: “Ma’am, that was just the estimated date. Your order will be at your house on Monday.”

Caller: “Are you stupid? It has today’s date on it.”

Me: “Is there anyone else in your home that I can speak to about this?”

Caller: “My husband, hang on.”

(She puts her husband on the phone.)

Me: “Sir, could you please explain to your wife that the delivery is not guaranteed today? The date on the order is an estimate and it will be there on Monday.”

Caller’s Husband: *yelling at wife* “God d*** can’t you f****** read! It says estimated date right there. It will be here Monday! Tell the guy you’re sorry for being a dumba**.”

(He puts his wife back on the phone.)

Caller: “I’m sorry I didn’t see that. Have a nice night.” *click*

How To Rock The Boat

, , , | Right | October 4, 2010

(I work at a hotel where some of the rooms overlook the lake. I get a customer checked in and give him a key to a room overlooking the lake, but he comes back to the front desk after five minutes.)

Customer: “This is unacceptable!”

Me: “Is there a problem, sir?”

Customer: “I went down there, and there is room 144, then 146, there is no 145!”

Me: “Sir, it’s on the other side of the hotel. You have to go through the hallway.”

Customer: “So I have to walk through someone else’s room?”

Me: “No, this room is on the lake side of the hotel.”

Customer: “The lake side? Well, how do I get there? I don’t have a boat!”


This story is part of our lost customer roundup!

Read the next lost customer roundup story!

Read the lost customer roundup!

I Now Pronounce You Employed

, , , , , | Right | September 28, 2010

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

(The customer leaves, frustrated. Not ten minutes later, he returns.)

Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

(The customer gets down on one knee.)

Customer: “Will you marry me?”

Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”

Rich Has Checked Out

, , , | Right | September 23, 2010

(This is an independent bank with only four loan officers.)

Me: “Here’s your receipt. Are you all set?”

Customer: “I need to speak with my loan officer for a minute.”

Me: “Okay, that’s Joe. Let me check if he’s available.”

Customer: “No! Rich is my loan officer.”

Me: “No, Joe is. He talked to you last week, remember? Tall guy with a moustache?”

Customer: “Rich has been my loan officer for eight years. I want to speak with him!”

Me: “Rich died three years ago.”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “So, I’ll get Joe?’”

Customer: “Right, Joe.”


This story is part of our Joe roundup!

Read the next Joe roundup story!

Read the Joe roundup!


This story is part of our Oblivious Customers roundup!

Read the next Oblivious Customers roundup story!

Read the Oblivious Customers roundup!

Misunderstood “Total Coverage”

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2010

Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [Car Insurance Company].”

Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”