Her Money Is Liquid

(I work in a coffee shop. It’s a slow night and I’m keeping an eye on the front counter. My friend has stopped by and we end up talking for a minute when a woman comes in and joins our conversation. At the end of our conversation, this scene comes into play:)

Woman: “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Me: “Sure! What can I do for you?”

(She leans in over the counter a little and glances around to see if anyone is watching.)

Woman: “I need five dollars. Do you have any on you?”

Me: “Um… No, I don’t have anything on me. What do you need five dollars for?”

Woman: *casually, as if there’s nothing weird about this scenario* “I just needed some money to buy a soda.”

Me: “Oh, you mean for here?”

(Our drinks are about a dollar plus tax, and I notice she only has a dollar with her. Right before I’m about to offer to pay for her drink, she cuts me off.)

Woman: “No, I wanted to get a pop from [Store down the block]. Are you sure you don’t have any money?” *she leans over and peers into the tip jar beside her* “I wouldn’t want you to take anything from the tip jar or the register, because [Manager who isn’t there] would probably rip you a new one.”

(At this point, I’m freaked out and annoyed at her persistence, even though I have told her four times that I don’t have money on me and I’m not giving her money from the tip jar or the register.)

Woman: “Well, are you sure you don’t have any in your coat pocket?”

Me: “I don’t. I’m broke.”

Woman: “Can you go look?”

(I hesitated, thinking she was going to steal from the tip jar while I’m away, but thankfully my friend had been standing behind the woman the entire time and kept an eye on her while I went back and talked to my coworker, who was also the acting manager for the evening. I explained what was going on, and she came back with me to try and get the woman to leave. As soon as the woman saw my coworker, she acted like nothing had happened and left. Apparently this woman is a known drinker and frequently comes around trying to bum money off of people. She’s even shown up at my coworker’s house!)