(A customer is using the self-checkout. Her total is $1.52.)
Customer: “I still owe 52 cents, but all I have is a $10 bill.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “I put a dollar bill in, but I still owe 52 cents and all I have is a $10 bill.”
Me: “That’s fine. You can just put the ten in and it will give you the difference back.”
Customer: “Really? The machine is that smart?”
(The chain store has a pharmacy that closes at 7:00 pm. A couple is in my lane at 8:30 pm.)
Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Customer: “Not unless you can break into the pharmacy and get my wife’s prescription.”
Me: *chuckle* “Sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”
Customer: *completely serious* “She’s gonna die without it. Oh, well.”
Me: “Um…”
Customer: “It’s okay; she’s old enough to die anyway.”
(I’m a female on-call locksmith. It is 3:00 am, in -16-degree weather. I go to the car that the person has been locked out of. I make them sign the paperwork, and I pop the lock in under five minutes.)
Customer: “Wait! Why should I pay $150 for something that only took you two seconds?!”
Me: “Because you couldn’t do it yourself.”
Customer: “You b****! I’m not paying this! I’m going to dispute the charges!”
Me: “Well, in that case…”
(I take the keys and throw them back into the car, lock the door, and slam it shut.)
Me: “Have a good night.”
Customer: “You can’t do that!”
Me: “You just said you were going to reverse the charges, so I’m reversing the job.”
(I got chewed out so hard for that, but it was worth it.)
This story is part of the Customers-Are-Their-Own-Worst-Enemy roundup!
