(One of my bosses goes to a hearing where the client fails to show up. The particular cases we deal with are not criminal and don’t involve much attorney-client contact outside of the initial interview and the much-later hearing, so it’s not uncommon for clients to disappear in the interim, failing to return calls or changing their address without notifying us. This time it is unusual, however, because it turns out that the client has died.)

Boss: *agitated* “I really wish she would have called to say she didn’t want the hearing anymore.”

Me: “She died.”

Boss: “Well, she should have called to tell me she was dead!” *storms off*

(He later apologized and dealt with the ensuing paperwork more rationally, but at the time, I was torn between laughing and being appalled.)

Last December, my great-grandma passed away after a long time in a nursing home in poor health. We knew that she would pass soon, but my family was still obviously very sad. My seven-year-old brother took it pretty hard, so my other two brothers and I tried to comfort him as best we could.

The time came for the funeral, which we had to explain a bit to my brother. It was a Catholic one, so it was held in a church and lasted a couple hours. I helped give the Eucharist, and my brothers and I helped carry the Gifts to the altar, all the while trying to convince my youngest brother that Great-Grandma wasn’t going to come back to life like you do in Minecraft. As you can imagine, we were pretty emotionally spent, and my mother and grandma were crying numerous times.

At the end of the funeral, four of the adult male family members came to help carry the coffin to the hearse. Mom was crying and holding Grandma, my aunt and uncle were holding back tears, and my cousins, siblings, and I watched quietly. Suddenly, my youngest brother walks towards the coffin and “helps” carry the coffin to the hearse, which wasn’t supposed to happen. My mother was shocked, but didn’t stop him in time before they were out the door.

Imagine being there, a ring of family members in solemn silence, suddenly laughing as their loved one is carried away! It was just so comical seeing my brother holding the coffin, right next to his very confused dad and uncle, that we couldn’t help it. That bit of comedy was just what we needed at such a sad moment in our life, and I firmly believe that God urged him to go so our great-grandma could go out with her family smiling for her and her descendants.

(I’ve been training a new coworker to work the front desk. One of her tasks will be printing certain documents, most of them two-sided, because we’re trying to save paper. I come back to the desk, after leaving her alone for the first time for just a few minutes.)

Coworker: “I printed out those documents you said to do, but I forgot to do them two-sided like you said, so I did it again.”

Me: “You did it again?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I threw out the first ones and printed them out again double-sided to save paper.”

(She holds up the new prints, looking very proud of herself.)

Me: *barely stops mouth from gaping open like a fish* “Yeah, that’s… that’s not how saving paper works.”

(I have just gotten over a bad cold and am working as cashier with a slight cough when I help cash an older woman out.)

Me: “Were you able to find everything all right, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, I found everything fine.”

Me: “That’s good!”

(I cough as I finish putting things in her bag. Mind you, all day, almost every time I’ve coughed I have broken into a small coughing fit from an itch in my throat; however, this one gets rather bad and I can’t stop coughing.)

Me: *coughing and trying to talk* “Would y-you like to donate to [Organization]?”

Customer: “No…”

Me: *eyes watering and still coughing while customer is paying*

Manager: *over headset* “Are you okay? Do you need water?”

(I’m coughing for the rest of the story, and for about three minutes after the customer leaves.)

Me: *crying* “I’m with a customer right now; I’ll be fine.”

Customer: “You’re sick; why are you here? It’s people like you who make people sick. You should be at home.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I have a tickle in my throat.” *hands customer her bag of items*

Customer: *glares at me with an evil look while taking bags and leaving*

(I work the front desk. As part of our ongoing safety training, we do storm drills at the beginning of spring and throughout the season. The maintenance manager asks me to call out such a drill.)

Me: *on the overhead* “Code Yellow drill, Code Yellow drill. All staff please report to the lobby.”

(The manager and I wait a few minutes, watching people show up. After a few minutes, we figure everyone’s there, and he’s about to start his safety talk when a couple other employees walk up.)

Me: “Too late! You’re dead!”

Manager: “Yep. Blown off to Kansas.”

(The employees start to walk away.)

Me: “Hey! Not too dead to miss the meeting!”

(Everyone laughed as they came back.)