Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Pre-Cog Movie-Log

, , , , , | Right | January 10, 2011

Me: “The computer is showing that you have a late balance of $5.60.”

Customer: “What? My movie was on time!”

Me: “Looks like it was two days late.”

Customer: “But I just returned it today!”

Me: “Yes, it was a five-day rental. It was due two days ago.”

Customer: “But I rented it Thursday! It should have been due today!”

Me: “You actually rented it last Tuesday, exactly one week ago. For the confusion, I can remove your late charge for you this time. Just be a little more careful in the future.”

Customer: “That’s impossible! You rented me my movie on the wrong day! You rented my movie early!”

Me: “You’re saying that I was able to predict what you wanted two days in advance, entered it in the computer, and you came in two days later to get it and pay for it?”

Customer: “That’s exactly what I’m saying! You rented my movie early!”

A Mother With Breast Intentions

, , , , | Right | January 6, 2011

Customer: “I’m looking for a video game for my fourteen-year-old son. Do you have any suggestions?”

Me:God of War just came out, and that’s pretty popular. It’s kind of a hack and slash game. Let me show you.”

(I show her the game.)

Me: “I do want to warn you, it might not be appropriate for him.”

Customer: “Why is that?”

Me: “Well, it has a lot of boobs in it.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. My son loves boobs!”


This story is part of our “Bad Parents & R-Rated Movies” roundup!

Read the next story in the roundup!

Read the “Bad Parents & R-Rated Movies” roundup!

Shoplift Your Spirits

, , , , , | Right | December 23, 2010

(I witness this exchange between a customer and my manager.)

Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave your backpack at the counter.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it. My policy is not to shoplift when my friends can’t spare bail money.”

(The manager laughed and walked off, letting him keep his backpack.)

Business Daze

, , , , | Right | December 21, 2010

(The customer has a covered hardware issue. It’s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.)

Me: “I’m going to request that a replacement device be sent to you, free of charge. You should receive your replacement in two business days.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to wait two business days! You need to make it arrive Friday!”

Me: “I understand your frustration sir, but tomorrow is Wednesday and the second business day is Friday. Thursday is the holiday.”

Customer: “You make it get here Friday!”

Me: “Sir, Wednesday is one business day. Friday is two business days. You will have your replacement on Friday.”

Customer: “Put your supervisor on!”

Supervisor: *after greeting the customer and looking at the details for the replacement* “What can I do for you, sir?”

Customer: “That girl’s trying to teach me how to count!”


This story is part of our Thanksgiving roundup!

Read the next Thanksgiving roundup story!

Read the Thanksgiving roundup!

Bad Company, Good Business

, , , , , | Right | December 14, 2010

(I’m a cashier, and a customer comes up to my register with a lock.)

Customer: “Do you guys do price matching?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Customer: “Great. I’ll take it at the [Medical Supply Store] price.”

Me: “All right, I’ll just need the printout.”

Customer: “The what?”

Me: “Well, I need proof that the other store has the same product for a lesser amount.”

Customer: “Don’t you know what they sell it at?”

Me: “Actually, I don’t believe they sell this at all.”

Customer: “Well, just find a store that sells it at a lesser price and give me that!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t do that. Unless you found the same item for a lesser price at another store, I have to charge you what our company sells it at.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because that’s business, sir.”