(I go on various forums for expats living in Japan, looking for advice.)

Me: “Hello. I am a woman from Latin America moving to Japan for work. The company hiring me already told me I should bring fitted sheets from home since they are very expensive in Japan. Are there any other things I should bring, so as to not make my move too expensive?”

Person #1: “Japan is a first world country; you can get anything here.”

Person #2: “Japan is way more technological than that.”

Person #3: “Japan does have some things that are more expensive, but you can get anything here.”

Person #4: “There are more things here than where you live, lol.”

(So far, not one useful answer.)

(I order something online to pick up in a store. I get an email saying that the order can be picked up that day, while the pickup slip that I need to show says the day after. Since the store is on my way and it’s more convenient for me if I can pick it up that day, I decide to take a gamble and just go. If it’s not there, I can always go tomorrow. I get in line with for cashier, which is also the pickup point. It’s quite crowded, so I patiently wait.)

Me: “Hello. I received an email saying I could pick up my order, but the slip I need to show says tomorrow. I was wondering if it was already in.”

Cashier: “Let me get the manager for you.”

(I step out of the line and wait for the manager. When he comes, he carries along several crates of shipment; clearly, he was unpacking things. He asks my name and order number.)

Manager: “I think I saw it with our shipment. [Employee], could you look for it in the back, while I unpack this?”

Employee: “Sure, can I see the slip?” *I show the pickup slip* “This says tomorrow; you have to come back tomorrow.”

Me: “Oh, but…”

Manager: “[Employee], I think I saw it in the back. Please check.”

Employee: “But the slip says tomorrow! It can’t be there yet!”

Manager: “Please go and check.”

(The employee sighs, goes to the back, and returns after a while. Meanwhile, the manager decides to go in the back, as well.)

Employee: “Yeah, I couldn’t find it. Like it said: it will be delivered tomorrow and not today. It says so on the pickup slip, so you need to come back tomorrow!”

(The tone is quite know-it-all, but I decide to just come back tomorrow.)

Me: “All right, thank you for checking, anyway. I will come back to—“

Manager: *carrying two boxes* “[Employee], it’s the top one.”

Employee: “What? But…”

Manager: “Please give the top box to the lady.”

(The employee gets the box and hands it to me. Not a “here you go,” or whatever, just a sigh.)

Me: “Thank you. I’m glad it showed up. I will let customer service know about the confusing email and slip.”

Employee: “It’s not confusing! It said tomorrow!”

(Clearly not getting anywhere with this employee, I headed to the cash register and checked out my order. When I got home, I had a notification that my order had been picked up successfully that same day!)

(I stop into a fast food place and order a combo meal that comes with, among other things, a medium drink. I then get handed a cup, and I stare at it for a moment.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me… Isn’t this a small?”

Cashier: “Yeah.”

Me: “Right… but I ordered the [meal] which comes with a medium drink.”

Cashier: “We’re out.”

Me: “You’re… you’re totally out of medium cups?”

Cashier: “Yeah, lots of folks ordered.” *takes a tone like he’s talking to a child* “You really should have come earlier.”

Me: “Right. Then am I getting a refund?”

Cashier: “For what?”

Me: “I ordered a medium drink, and you gave me a small. So, either I get something else to make up the difference, or I get some of my money back.”

Cashier: “Oh, just take the d*** soda!”

Me: “How about you get the d*** manager, instead?”

(The cashier huffs and disappears into the back. Eventually, someone comes up with my tray of food, and I ask if they’re the manager. Nope. The cashier has just up and vanished without telling anyone. Eventually, the actual manager comes up.)

Manager: “What’s the problem, sir?”

Me: “I was told you’re out of medium drink cups after I ordered, and—“

Manager: “What?” *calls to someone in back* “Hey, [Employee], grab another box of medium cups from the supply room!”

Me: “Are you saying he was just too lazy to even ask someone to restock?”

Manager: “Apparently. Sorry about the trouble; this isn’t the first time he’s been lazy.”

(The manager then handed me a large cup and insisted I take it. Honestly, I would have been happy just getting what I ordered, but hey, bonus soda. While I was eating I suddenly heard a lot of shouting in back, and after a minute the cashier went storming out, cursing up a storm and throwing his hat and apron around. Might not have been his first time being lazy, but I guess it was his last!)

(I’m at college. I go to purchase a lab manual.)

Clerk: “Sorry, you don’t have a valid student ID. Go to the library and get a new one.”

(I’ve been using this ID for three years, but whatever.)

Librarian: “You need paperwork from the business office to get a renewed ID.”

(I go to the business office.)

Clerk: “You need to pay off your debts before I can do anything for you.”

Me: “Yeah, okay. I’ve been meaning to do that, anyway.”

(It’s only the first week of school. I pull up my student account; I owe $240.)

Clerk: “That’ll be $430.”

Me: “What? No, see?”

(I show her my account.)

Clerk: “It’s actually $430.”

Me: “Why?”

Clerk: “It’s $430.”

Me: “Why?”

Clerk: “Fees.”

Me: “Why is it $230 on my account but $430 here?”

Clerk: *shrugs*

Me: “…”

Clerk: “…”

Me: “I don’t know what you want me to do.”

Clerk: “Pay?”

Me: “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be paying.”

Clerk: “$430!”

Me: “Why?!”

Clerk: “THAT’S HOW MUCH IT COSTS!”

Me: “WHY?!”

Clerk: “Do you want a manager?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

(I never do this. I’m usually a pushover for workers, but this is two hundred dollars that I’d be paying “just because.”)

Manager: *on speaker phone* “What’s the problem?”

Me: “My account on my phone says my classes cost $230, but her computer says $430.”

Manager: “It’s $430.”

Me: “Why? I don’t understand why it’s $200 more.”

Manager: “Don’t worry; I’ll fix it. Give me a moment.”

Me: *finally relieved*

Manager: “Refresh the page.”

(I refresh my page. It’s now $430.)

Me: “…”

Clerk: “You can pay with a payment plan which will, in total, cost more, but it’ll be much easier.”

Me: *giving up* “I’d rather pay it all off right now.”

Clerk: “Okay! Here’s some paperwork for that.” *immediately flips to the last page and points where I should sign*

(I am an incredibly paranoid person. I read the terms and agreements. I’m that b****.)

Me: “This is the paperwork for the payment plan.”

Clerk: “…”

Me: “I’m paying it all, right now. And I want a receipt.”

Clerk: *rolls her eyes, gets me the right paperwork, and gives me a receipt*

Customer: “I need to make an appointment for my car.”

Me: “All right, when were you looking to come in, and what’s the problem?”

Customer: “I need an oil change, but I also have an issue. Something isn’t right.”

Me: “All right, what’s the issue you are having?”

Customer: “The engine smells… hot.”

Me: “It smells hot?”

Customer: “Yes, it smells hot.”

Me: “All right, are you smelling burning? Fumes? A coolant smell?”

Customer: “No, it just smells hot hot. [Owner] will know.”

(I get this frequently: that my owner will know. Of course he remembers every person and every problem!)

Me: “Is there any way for you to describe the smell more clearly?”

Customer: “Umm… It smells hot.”

Me: “All righty. Well, I have the notes in here, and [Owner] will check out the car when it’s in.”

(I go out to the garage after to tell the guys that this woman’s car “smells HOT and that [Owner] will know!”)

Tech: “Did you ask her what cold smells like?”