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It’s A Revolution In BSing

, , , , | Learning | August 28, 2017

(My senior year I am in AP US history. Our teacher likes to offer different ways to earn grades in addition to traditional papers and tests. We often have a “debate” of sorts. It is more of a discussion that we are graded on based on how we contribute and participate. We aren’t allowed to use our materials during the discussion, making preparation very important to our grades. This particular day I get to class and realize I have forgotten about the debate completely.)

Me: “Oh… oh, no.”

Friend: “Did you not prepare?!”

Me: “…maybe?”

Friend: “Oh, my god. You’d better cram! I spent, like, four hours total preparing for this!”

(I quickly do my best to review the topic, which has something to do with US involvement in foreign countries. I skim the provided materials and the textbook section that covers the topic. The teacher then has us put everything away and the debate starts. Eventually I catch on to how the discussion is going and manage to contribute here and there, totally BSing it and saying whatever I think will work towards either side of the discussion. This is basically all I say:)

Me: “But what if we had given up like that during the Revolutionary War?”

(My classmates continue to debate.)

Me: “Again, what if the colonists had just accepted British rule?! That’s not the American spirit!”

(More discussion.)

Me: “So you’re saying that it’s not worth fighting for? What if the French hadn’t come to our aid in the American Revolution, huh? Where would we be now!”

(I continued to say a variation of this, adding different comments along with it, for the duration of class. I sounded ridiculous, and I assumed everyone had noticed my lack of preparation. Afterwards, my teacher catches me as I’m heading out the door.)

Teacher: “[My Name]! Wait, I just wanted to say I was really impressed with your participation in class today. I could tell you really spent time preparing and I am proud of your efforts. You got a really good grade.”

Friend: *after teacher was out of earshot* “ARE YOU SERIOUS!? How… I… You’re insane. That’s just… I hate you!”

Me: “Please, you know you love my amazing BS skills.”

Dropped Class So They Could Come To Class

, , , , , | Learning | August 25, 2017

(It is well into my second year at university when I get a text from a friend from high school who goes to a college nearby. My friend is taking one course per semester at this college but always seems stressed.)

Friend: “Hey, wanna meet up?”

Me: “I have tutorial but maybe on the weekend?”

Friend: “Oh, I don’t mind coming to your tutorial.”

Me: “There’s, like, 25 of us in the tutorial. The TA will know you don’t belong there.”

Friend: “I don’t mind.”

(I end up talking her out of that but she is constantly texting me to meet up with her or she wants to sit in on my classes. It wouldn’t be a problem if there were 400 kids but my major is an honours program so, year-by-year, hundreds of students are cut. So far there are around 200 kids in the class and it’s a full year course so the professor generally knows us. Eventually, I get sick of her inviting herself to my classes.)

Me: “Don’t you have class?”

Friend: “Oh, I dropped out because I needed to catch up on sleep, but now I’m bored!”

Me: “You can get always get a job. I can help you make a résumé.”

Friend: “Girl, I dropped out because there was too much work and I didn’t get enough sleep. I’m not gonna get a job!”

(I don’t mind people taking care of their mental health but if you do so, maybe go see a therapist, not sit in on classes you didn’t/couldn’t actually take or handle.)

The Only Victim Is Productivity

, , , , | Working | August 23, 2017

(We have an (admittedly very attractive) woman working in my office. She spends most of the day online or at the coffee machine. I’ve noticed this getting even worse as she has started to take two lunch breaks and generally do very little work. She gets away with it as all the guys (apart from me) fawn over her, rush to be the first to buy her a coffee, or help her out. Being snowed under this starts to irritate me, but I keep my nose out of it until I’m told that she now works with me to help with my work.)

Me: “Can you send me over [Report] when you finish it, please?”

Woman: “Oh, [Guy] is doing it.”

Me: “But it’s not his job!”

Woman: “I know but I was struggling and he offered.”

Me: “Okay, well, can you update [Presentation] like I showed you, and send it to me, please?”

Woman: “Yeah, I guess.”

(I get on with my own work. An hour later I still don’t have the email; it should only take 15 minutes. Another hour later, still nothing. I look up to find she has disappeared! I give her another half hour before I go to look for her. I find her chatting in another office.)

Me: “Have you finished my presentation yet?”

Woman: *looking at me like I have asked the most stupid question* “No, I’ll do it in a bit.”

Me: “Well, I need it by the end of the day.”

(Before I even finished she had turned away and started chatting again. Her attitude carried on for a full nine months, while the whole time I was getting stick for not completing my work. Then our boss was replaced with a woman who was immune to her charm. The worker put in a complaint with HR but it was thrown out. She left feeling “victimised” for being asked to do her job.)

Not Being A Good Sport

, , , | Right | August 23, 2017

(This is at the movie racks in the electronics department.)

Customer: “Where are the workout DVDs?”

Me: “They’re over in Sporting Goods.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too far.”

Tip Of The Hat Towards Karma

, , , , | Working | August 20, 2017

(I work at a restaurant doing carryout. It’s our downtime, so all employees are supposed to help out wherever they’re needed. The girl who’s on the register does not get up to help at all. Mind you, I’m on carryout by myself and five different customers come up all at once. I grab a different coworker to come to help me. While this coworker is taking an order, the phone rings and she puts it on hold.)

Coworker: “[My Name], there’s an order on the phone.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get it in a minute.”

Lazy Coworker: “Who’d you say it was on the phone?”

Coworker: “[Regular Customer].”

([Regular Customer] always tips.)

Lazy Coworker: “I’ll get it!”

(When [Regular Customer] came to pick up his food, he did not tip! She only helped out to try and get that tip and he didn’t even tip this time! Karma.)

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