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Does Not Compute

, , , , , | Working | March 21, 2014

(I work in the wardrobe department of a casino. My coworker is very lazy and spends all her time on the computer surfing the web and chatting. My other coworker has had enough and reports her. The lazy coworker is called into our boss’s office.)

Coworker: “Ugh! I can’t believe that just happened!”

Me: “What happened?”

Coworker: “[Boss] just wrote me up for using the company’s computer for personal use on the clock! Can you believe that?!”

Me: “Well, you’re not supposed to. That’s why they monitor the computer activities.”

Coworker: *rolls eyes* “DUH! I know that! My boyfriend is a computer tech.”

Me: “So why didn’t you just do your job and stay off the Internet?”

Coworker: *doesn’t hear me* “I am just so upset that I can’t work the rest of the day.”

(She whipped out her phone and stayed on it for the rest of her shift — which was six hours.)


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Doing More Pharm Than Good

, , , , , | Working | May 31, 2013

(My daughter has a seizure disorder. We are a low-income family, and we get low-cost insurance through the state for her. However, because of this disorder, she has separate insurance through the state; the pharmacy knows this.)

Tech: “Um, okay, so we tried to run your daughter’s medication and it won’t go through.  We have to contact [Regular] insurance to see why it won’t go through.”

Me: “Wait, no… you have to run it through [Other] insurance. I called this in like three days ago, and you are now just calling me?! That is the medication she takes for her seizures. I am out, too, and I can’t have her miss a dose.”

Tech: “We did and it didn’t work. You can pay cash for it. That’s $54.99.”

Me: “Look, I am low income. I can’t afford something that expensive. Are you sure you ran it through the right insurance?”

Tech: “Uh, yeah. It’s not my fault you let your insurance lapse or something. You need to call [Regular] insurance and take care of it on your end or else pay cash.”

(I call my daughter’s regular insurance, who confirms my side of things. They call the pharmacy and get them to approve the medication. I call back but request to speak with a pharmacist directly.)

Me: “So, did it work this time?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, it did. I’m sorry [Tech] was acting that way. She just didn’t want to run it on the other insurance because it takes a few more steps to make.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I’ve heard this song and dance every month for the last three months and nothing has changed. Look, my kid was totally out of her seizure meds! She could have had a seizure because of your lack of calling me about it in a timely manner and making jump through hoops I don’t need to.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m really busy, and I can’t watch everything they do all the time.”

Me: “Wow, you just inspired me to take my business elsewhere and call corporate to complain.”

(Within two hours, my daughter’s prescriptions were transferred to another pharmacy where they DO take the time to run it correctly and call me if/when there is a problem. I recently went back into that first store to return something and there was an entirely new staff in the pharmacy. I hope these ones do actually care!)


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Inexcusable Behavior Will Get You Excused

, , , , , | Working | May 24, 2013

(I’m the manager of a coffee shop. I’ve gone home for the day, leaving a student employee minding the shop. A few hours later, I get a call.)

Employee: “[Student Employee] hasn’t shown up. He’s an hour late and he isn’t answering his phone. I have to leave in a few minutes for my evening class.”

(The student employee is notoriously lazy. However, he just put in his two week’s notice yesterday and assured me that he would cover the rest of his shifts. I come in to cover and try to contact the prodigal barista. After leaving a voicemail on his cell, I call the number for his apartment and reach his roommate.)

Student Employee’s Roommate: “Oh, yeah, he’s out. Here’s a number for someone he’s with.”

(I call the student employee’s friend’s number and get the phone handed to him.)

Me: “[Student Employee], where are you? You were supposed to be here over an hour ago.”

Student Employee: “Oh, yeah…”

Me: “How soon can you be here?”

Student Employee: “Umm… I’m in [Town about a 45-minute drive away].”

Me: “So you’ll be here in the next hour? I opened today, and I’m opening tomorrow; I’m not closing for you.”

Student Employee: “Ooh! I can’t come in. I’m too drunk to drive!”

Me: “Come see me before I open tomorrow. We need to talk.”

(I end up closing the shop. While mopping, I psych myself up for my first ever experience with firing an employee. The student employee comes in about a half-hour after I open the shop the next morning.)

Me: “Are you sober?”

Student Employee: “Oh, I wasn’t really drinking; I just needed an excuse to get out of that shift. Thanks for covering me. What did you need to talk to me about?”

Me: “Thank you for making this process even easier.”

(Even after a 20-minute conversation, I don’t think he ever understood why he was being let go!)


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Cold Hearts Can Leave You In The Cold

, , , , , , | Working | January 22, 2013

(Even though I have graduated college, I still use the campus fitness center almost daily. I’m used to the student employees there being rude and late to open the gym in the morning, and I’ve had problems with campus security being unhelpful in the past. This particular morning, I wake up to a blizzard. As I pull up to the gym, I see four other regulars waiting outside the door: two old ladies and two students, one of whom is in shorts. Keep in mind it’s 6:00 am in January in Minnesota.)

Me: “Hi, guys! I take it no one is here yet?”

Old Lady #1: “Yeah, we’ve all been here since six and there is no sign of anyone yet.”

Me: *to the student in shorts* “Do you want to go sit in my car and turn the heat on? I really don’t mind.”

Student In Shorts: “No, I’m okay. I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”

(Ten minutes later…)

Old Lady #2: “Okay, this is starting to get silly. Maybe I should call campus security and see if someone can let us in.”

Student #2: “I tried five minutes ago. No one answered.”

Me: “I bet you all a million dollars that even if someone from security did come, they’d say it was against policy to let us in.”

Old Lady #1: *laughs* “Even they won’t be that ridiculous!”

Me: *to the student in shorts* “Are you sure you don’t want to sit in my car?”

Student In Shorts: “I’m still fine. It can’t be much longer.”

(After 20 more minutes of making small talk and pacing around, we are starting to get angry and contemplate just leaving.)

Old Lady #1: “Hey, I think there is someone at the front desk! Finally, we can go inside!”

(We all rush to the door, and, sure enough, there is a campus security guard leaning against the front desk. She doesn’t seem to see us, so we start knocking on the door.)

Me: “Hey, can you let us in, please?”

Student In Shorts: “Hello!”

Old Lady #2: “Woman! Open the d*** door!”

(The guard looks in our direction and clearly sees all of us waving, but she doesn’t move and looks away.)

Old Lady #1: “Oh ,you’ve got to be f***ing kidding me. Hey!”

(We continue knocking and yelling until she finally slowly walks over and opens the door.)

Security Guard: “I’m sorry, I can’t let you in until the employee gets here. It’s against procedure.”

Old Lady #2: “You can’t be serious.”

Security Guard: “There’s nothing I can do.”

Me: “Can’t you just let us stand inside? We don’t have to go to the gym. We’ll just sit on those benches until the employee gets here.”

Security Guard: “No.”

Old Lady #1: “We’re not going to do anything. What does it matter if we just sit there?”

Security Guard: “It’s against procedure.”

Old Lady #2: “That girl is in shorts and we’ve all been out here since six! Just let us in the d*** building! You can stand and watch us sit on the bench if you’re worried.”

Security Guard: “No.” *closes the door*

(By this point, we’ve all had enough and decide to just keep pounding on the door and yelling until the guard finally lets us sit inside. She grumbles and complains about this until the student worker finally shows up. By now, it’s 7:00 am.)

Old Lady #1: *to the student worker* “It’s about d*** time, young lady. Why are you so late?”

Student Worker: “I felt like sleeping in. Plus, it looked so cold outside. I didn’t want to leave.”

Student In Shorts: “Wait, don’t you live on campus?”

Student Worker: “Yeah, so?”

Student In Shorts: “Which building are you in?”

Student Worker: *says building name*

Me: “The one across the street from this building?!”

Student Worker: “I didn’t want to deal with the cold!”

(The other regulars and I were left speechless. I still see that student worker some mornings. If it wasn’t for the fact that I can use the gym for free, I’d never go back!)


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More Credit Without The Card

, , , | Related | December 22, 2012

(It’s Christmas, and I’m at my parent’s house opening presents.)

Me: “Oh, $40. Thanks, guys.”

Mom: “Did you just give her an envelope with no card?”

Dad: “No, I gave her an envelope full of money!”

Mom: “But, no card?”

Dad: *to me* “Do you want a card? Give me some of that money, and I’ll go buy a card!”


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