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This One Sure Doesn’t Measure Up

, , , , , | Working | August 4, 2020

As a contractor, I need some day labor to assist in a project, basically manning a shovel. I am talking to some of the prospects because if I find someone with good qualifications and experience I might consider hiring them after their contract with the day labor business is complete.

I am talking to one young fellow who looks to be just out of high school.

Me: “And how are your math skills?”

Laborer: “Math skills? I don’t need no freaking math skills; I’m gonna be a carpenter!”

Me: “…”

Dirty Dan Never Fails!

, , , , , , | Working | July 29, 2020

I have applied to a work-from-home customer service position and they email me to schedule an interview. I schedule and promptly forget about it. I have also been receiving numerous scammer calls a day and am getting fed up. So, after quite a bit of reading on Not Always Right, I decide to use one of the bits I find there to answer the next scammer calls I receive.

The first time it happens, the scammer promptly hangs up and I happily go about my day. Then, the next number that I don’t recognize calls, and I happily answer.

Me: “Dirty Dan’s House of Hookers! You have the dough and we have the blow!”

Interviewer: “Um… Oh… Um… I need to speak to [My Name]?”

Me: “Sorry, who am I speaking with?”

Interviewer: “This is [Interviewer] from [Company], calling for a phone interview?”

Me: *Stunned* “Oh, my God, I’m so, so, so sorry. I’ve been getting so many scammer calls that I’ve been trying to make them hang up.”

Interviewer: *Laughing* “No worries! If you want to proceed with the interview, we can. Just please repeat that line to me at the end of the interview. I could really use something for those scammer calls, too!”

I aced the interview and was offered a job a week later. So glad I didn’t scare her off!

When Katy Perry Is Your Interviewer

, , , , , , | Working | July 8, 2020

When I am looking for a job, I find a listing that sounds right up my alley. I apply and get an interview.

I normally have fair-to-middling success at interviews; some are good, some not so good. This is one of the good ones; in fact, it is INCREDIBLE. I have answers for every question. I make my interviewer laugh a few times. We know some of the same people.

It goes so well, and it is such a good fit for me, I almost expect to be offered the job on the spot. Instead:

Interviewer: “Well, this has been a real pleasure.”

Me: “Thank you! I feel the same way.”

Interviewer: “We have one other candidate that we’re considering, but I should have an answer for you by the end of the week.”

Fair enough. I am a bit disappointed, but I am still optimistic. A couple of days later, I get this email from the interviewer:

Interviewer: “Thank you for your interest in [Company]. You were one of our top candidates, and it was very difficult to choose between you and the other person. In the end, that other person was slightly more qualified. But don’t give up! We’re hiring all the time, and another position will probably open up shortly. Please apply again, and mention my name in your application so that I see it right away.”

Well, that is very encouraging. Sure enough, only a couple of weeks later, I see another identical job posting from that company. I apply immediately, mentioning my interviewer’s name as she recommended.

A week goes by, then two, and then three. I think maybe my application has somehow slipped through the cracks, so I email the interviewer. I let her know that I’ve taken her advice and reapplied for [Position], and I am very much looking forward to hearing from her. I get back this response:

Interviewer: “Yes, we received your application. Thank you.”

That was it. I practically got frostbite reading it. I never got another interview with that company, and to this day, I have no idea what happened.

Schooling The Secretary On Her Paperwork Skills

, , , , , | Working | May 14, 2020

I move to Texas in 2009. Everyone says I will get a teaching position easily, since I teach math. However, jobs are not forthcoming.

I finally get an interview with a school after applying on their district’s website. The interview is on a Thursday, so I am not expecting any news until the following week. Also, schools rarely call back candidates who they do not hire.

On Tuesday morning the next week, I get a call at home. My phone identifies it as the school, so I’m excited to answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Secretary: “Hello, Mr. [My Name]. This is [High School] in [District]. We’d like to schedule you for an interview. Would you be available tomorrow morning?”

I’m thinking it is a second interview to meet more staff.

Me: “Oh, that’d be great. Is there anything extra you’d like me to bring to this second interview?”

Secretary: *Pause* “Second interview?”

Me: “I interviewed with your principal last Thursday.”

Secretary: “Oh… Never mind.” *Click*

An Eleventh-Hour Interview

, , , , , | Working | May 11, 2020

I apply for a job at a restaurant that is famous for having girls in skimpy outfits as waitresses, but is supposedly “family-friendly.” I don’t hear back for a week, so I figure I’ll just forget about it.

Late at night, I’m browsing the Internet and I get a message saying that I’ve got a new email.

“We would like to meet you in one hour to interview. Please reply if yes.”

It’s 1:00 am. Of course, I don’t reply! Luckily, they don’t email me again. Guess they aren’t so friendly!