I work in a movie theater.

Me: *Gesturing to my left* “You’re in theater nine. It’s the first one on the right down this way.”

The customer and his ten-or-so-year-old child walk away, and I turn to help the next customer. Two hours later, the customer storms up to me.

Customer: “You sent me to the wrong theater!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I just sat through [Very Gory Horror Film] with my son for two hours! He’s going to be traumatized! We wanted [Family-Friendly Movie]! You sent me to the wrong theater! I want your dumb a** fired!”

Me: “Sir, I told you that you were going to theater nine. That’s the theater playing [Family-Friendly Movie].”

Customer: “No, you sent me to theater six!”

Me: “Sir, no offense, but I most certainly did not.”

Customer’s Child: “He’s right, daddy! He said theater nine!”

Customer: *To his kid* “Shut up!” *To me* “You gave me bad directions! You should be fired!”

Me: “Wait… if you realized you were in the wrong theater, why did you stay the entire time?”

Customer: *Looking incredibly baffled* “I… I… I don’t have to answer your questions!”

He stormed out the exit door, ranting about me sending him to the wrong theater. I’d say he was just fishing for a free ticket, but the look of honest confusion on his face and the fact that he didn’t go to a manager make me think he really was just that stupid.

Related:
Rated R You Serious?!, Part 8
Rated R You Serious?!, Part 7
Rated R You Serious?!, Part 6
Rated R You Serious?, Part 5
Rated R You Serious?, Part 4

I’m working at the concession stand of a movie theater. It’s a slow Monday, so I’m the only cashier on concession, and the lobby is completely empty. A man walks up to the next register over, which is clearly marked with a big “This register is currently closed” sign. He turns, smiles at me, and then turns back to the register. He waits there for about twenty seconds, looking increasingly annoyed, before I speak up.

Me: “Uh, sir… that register is closed. I can help you over here, though.”

Customer: *Exploding and slamming his hands down* “This is bulls***!”

He stormed away without buying anything. I don’t get people sometimes.

My hair went grey in my twenties and is now completely white. Apart from that, I do not look my age (mid-fifties) and have never looked or acted my age; I come across as much younger.

I am cashiering at the bookstore. While working, I try to engage my customers in conversation, joking, or whatever they seem to need at the moment. There is a line, but we are handling it pretty steadily so there is no huge wait.

I check out a woman for her exercise magazines while she talks with the woman behind her. They apparently met in the store, and the second woman is giving the first woman information about her personal training and nutrition business in hopes that the first woman will recommend her to clients.

The first woman is already a well-established personal trainer and is interested. I respect their conversation and don’t interrupt except for the questions pertinent to the sale. When it is complete, without being prompted, I give the first lady a pen and some paper and say she can stand just to the side at the counter to write down notes if she wants to.

Then, the second lady puts her purchases down. She is with her partner, who also has some books and things. As I sort through all of it, I notice the title of one book which catches my attention. It’s titled “How Not To Die” and has a new sticker on it that says it’s on sale.

I chuckle to myself and say to the partner:

Me: “How not to die? Just don’t do it!”

It’s obviously a joke, and he chuckles in reply. The second woman replies:

Customer #2: “Oh, you should read this! It’s all about the foods that will help you live longer!” 

I smile a little, but then she says:

Customer #2: “Because, you know… you’re old!”

I am very surprised. I notice that all conversation in the area has stopped, and the first lady has stopped writing and is looking over at my current customer, who she has been considering recommending to clients. 

I’m really not certain how I want to respond. Laugh it off, be insulted? I am at a loss.

Customer #2’s Partner: “You really shouldn’t say things like that.”

Customer #2: *Looks at me in surprise* “But I’m sure you have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol — all the old people problems.”

Me: “As a matter of fact, I don’t have any of those, nor any other health conditions, not that it’s any of your business.”

Customer #2: “Oh, I didn’t mean anything by that. It’s just that this book will help you so much with that!”

Me: “Your total is [total].”

I bagged the items as I noticed the first lady crumple the paper she was writing on. I quietly took it and the pen back from her and she gave me a sympathetic smile. As the second lady left, I heard her partner speaking to her in very stern tones.

I really wished I’d told her that she would one day be dealing with “old people problems” at some point, too.

I work in a fairly male-dominated industry, and most of the female coworkers I’ve had over the years tend to leave quickly because of a fairly sexist atmosphere. I tend to get along with most of them really well. In both my previous job and my current one, I’ve had female coworkers who get along really well with me say that I’m “sweet” and “charming”.

One day, a male coworker speaks to me.

Coworker #1: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “What?”

Coworker #1: “The girls, they all seem to like you, especially [Coworker #2].”

Me: “Okay… and?”

Coworker #1: “They barely talk to me. I told [Coworker #2] that her boobs looked great, and she just ignored me and walked away. You never say anything to her about how great she looks, and she’s all over you and hugs you every morning.”

Me: “Really? You just walked up to her and said, ‘Hey, [Coworker #2], I like your boobs!’? Were you expecting her to go, ‘Oh, yeah, here, have a feel,’ or to show you? Crazy idea: have you ever, with any of the girls, just talked to them… like they are human?”

Coworker #1: “Well, no, but girls love being told they look great.”

Me: “Yes, they do, but usually, it’s, ‘Hey, that new haircut suits you,’ or, ‘I love your earrings today.’ What you did was just objectify her and make her feel like an object.”

Coworker #1: “So, I should say I like her hair?”

Me: “It’s a better start than the boobs, yeah. But try just talking to her.”

[Coworker #2] actually walks up behind me at this stage and wraps her arms around me in a hug.

Coworker #2: “And that is why I love you most out of my work friends. [Coworker #1], honestly, don’t even try talking to me. You won’t ever be seeing my boobs.”

I worked for a company that sold domain names. Despite having multiple different wordings on our site explaining this, I would get one of these kinds of calls every day.

Caller: “Yeah, I bought a domain name from you guys.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. What issues were you having with it?”

Caller: “Well, I type my address and there’s no website.”

Me: “Have you linked your site to the domain name yet?”

Caller: “What is that supposed to mean? Where the h*** is my website?”

Me: “We don’t make the website for you, sir. We just sell you the website name.”

Caller: “That’s bulls***! I paid for my website. Where is it?”

Me: “You need to either make the website yourself or pay a web designer to make it for you, sir.”

Caller: “So, I just paid all that money, and I don’t get a website?”

Me: “Sir, you paid us $4.99. You can’t expect someone to make a website for that little money.”

Caller: “I wouldn’t have bothered with this website bulls*** if I’d known I had to do it myself! You’re all crooks!” *Click*