How Not To Die Of Embarrassment

My hair went grey in my twenties and is now completely white. Apart from that, I do not look my age (mid-fifties) and have never looked or acted my age; I come across as much younger.

I am cashiering at the bookstore. While working, I try to engage my customers in conversation, joking, or whatever they seem to need at the moment. There is a line, but we are handling it pretty steadily so there is no huge wait.

I check out a woman for her exercise magazines while she talks with the woman behind her. They apparently met in the store, and the second woman is giving the first woman information about her personal training and nutrition business in hopes that the first woman will recommend her to clients.

The first woman is already a well-established personal trainer and is interested. I respect their conversation and don’t interrupt except for the questions pertinent to the sale. When it is complete, without being prompted, I give the first lady a pen and some paper and say she can stand just to the side at the counter to write down notes if she wants to.

Then, the second lady puts her purchases down. She is with her partner, who also has some books and things. As I sort through all of it, I notice the title of one book which catches my attention. It’s titled “How Not To Die” and has a new sticker on it that says it’s on sale.

I chuckle to myself and say to the partner:

Me: “How not to die? Just don’t do it!”

It’s obviously a joke, and he chuckles in reply. The second woman replies:

Customer #2: “Oh, you should read this! It’s all about the foods that will help you live longer!” 

I smile a little, but then she says:

Customer #2: “Because, you know… you’re old!”

I am very surprised. I notice that all conversation in the area has stopped, and the first lady has stopped writing and is looking over at my current customer, who she has been considering recommending to clients. 

I’m really not certain how I want to respond. Laugh it off, be insulted? I am at a loss.

Customer #2’s Partner: “You really shouldn’t say things like that.”

Customer #2: *Looks at me in surprise* “But I’m sure you have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol — all the old people problems.”

Me: “As a matter of fact, I don’t have any of those, nor any other health conditions, not that it’s any of your business.”

Customer #2: “Oh, I didn’t mean anything by that. It’s just that this book will help you so much with that!”

Me: “Your total is [total].”

I bagged the items as I noticed the first lady crumple the paper she was writing on. I quietly took it and the pen back from her and she gave me a sympathetic smile. As the second lady left, I heard her partner speaking to her in very stern tones.

I really wished I’d told her that she would one day be dealing with “old people problems” at some point, too.