(My dad’s new wife loves spicy food, and I don’t, since it gives me a painful rash. I’ve told her this, and she just clucks. She cooks up a stew for us and it smells great. There’s a spicy smell but I figure that it’s coming from hers and Dad’s dishes, since they like it. Lo and behold, one bite and I’m panting and whimpering, and my lips and mouth hurt.)

Dad: “Why did you put hot sauce in [My Name]’s dish? She’s told you she doesn’t like it.”

Stepmom: “I only put a little of my homemade hot sauce.”

Dad: “Your homemade hot sauce? It’s poison!”

(He doesn’t mean literally poison; it’s just an expression he uses to say it’s really spicy.)

Stepmom: “Meh. She’ll have to get used to it! Spicy foods are good for the soul. It helps the circulation, too.”

(Since then, I’ve asked her not to prepare me a dinner, since she doesn’t get it. She ignores me and prepares me another stew the next day; however, this one doesn’t have any hot sauce. It tastes a bit bland, so I grab the black pepper and start putting some flavor in it.)

Stepmom: “I thought that you didn’t like spiciness! Black pepper is spicy!”

Me: “Not to me. It’s nice and tangy.”

Stepmom: “Pffft! You young people can’t make your minds!”

(At least she stopped then.)

(One department in our store is experiencing a flood of customers so I head over to see if I can help. Before I get there, a gentleman stops me, looking for a product. Seeing that there are none on the shelf, I check our stock and see that we have more in the back. A few aisles down, a woman steps out right in front of me.)

Me: “Oh! Excuse me, ma’am.”

(I try to step around her but she steps in front of me again)

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Woman: “Who was here first?”

Me: “Uh… I think we got here at the same time. Are you looking for something?”

Woman: “No. Me or that man. Who was here first?”

Me: “That gentleman approached me on my way over here, so I don’t really know.”

Woman: “It was me. I was first. I’ve been waiting, but you decided to help him first.”

Me: “Oh, I see. I’m sorry. I just have to get an item from the back room and I’ll be happy to assist you.”

Woman: *stares me down, not moving*

Me: “So… I’ll be right back.”

(Again I try to step aside and she blocks my path.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am.”

Woman: “How does it feel?”

Me: *getting frustrated* “How does what feel?”

Woman: “To have to wait on someone else. I’ve been waiting and you decided to help him before me. So, I’ve decided that you will help me. NOW.”

(I take a deep breath; does she not know my whole job is waiting on someone else?)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Woman: “I’m looking for this product.”

(It’s the same thing the gentleman is looking for.)

Me: “They’re in the back. I’ll go get you one.”

(I step aside just enough that I can squeeze between the woman and the shelf. I’m 5’6″ and 110 pounds and I still have to hold my breath to get through.)

Woman: “You can get me your manager, too. Your attitude is bulls***.”

(While in the back, I radio my manager and ask her to call me directly. I fill her in and she says she will meet with the woman and I can go on assisting the man. I take a different route back to the gentleman and apologize for his wait.)

Gentleman: “I saw you were with that other woman for a while. She didn’t look like a happy customer. What’s your name?”

Me: “My name is [My Name]. Again, I’m so sorry. I would have been back sooner but—”

Gentleman: “Oh, I’m not calling to complain! I’m going to let them know what really happened in case she reports you.”

(She did call, of course, because my manager wouldn’t give her a discount on the product she wanted and I was the rudest person she had ever encountered. Nothing came of it because we had both accounts and the video.)

(I work in a dog grooming salon where the prices for haircuts are based on the breed of dog. A woman enters while I am standing at the computer.)

Me: “Hi there! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’ve never been here before, but I have two Lhasa Apsos who need grooming and I was wondering what you would charge.”

Me: “Sure! Just let me check that price for you.”

(I open up our breed list and start looking up the price.)

Customer: “Yeah, I used to take them to this other groomer, but three times now they’ve injured my male dog. Twice they cut his scrotum, and another time they burned it with the clippers!”

(For reference, electric clippers heat up if used for too long without changing the blade.)

Me: “Oh, no! I’m sorry to hear that. That should never happen at all, let alone three different times!”

Customer: “I know. I wasn’t very happy with their service.”

Me: “Well, I can’t say I blame you. I’ve found the price here for you. So, for our full groom package, which includes the bath, blow dry, brush out, ear cleaning, nail trimming, and the full-body haircut, it would be $62 before tax.”

Customer: “Wow! Really? That’s pretty pricey! The last place used to do it for $35. Why so expensive?”

(It was incredibly difficult to resist asking her how many more times they would have to injure her dog’s scrotum — or any other body part! — before she would start to understand why their prices were so cheap! She didn’t book an appointment.)

(I work at a homeware store and our policy is that we do not refund for a change of mind; however, the customer may exchange for another item. We also offer store credit, where we put their amount onto a gift card exclusive to our store; however, we can only do this if the value is over $10. A lady comes up to the counter with two items and a receipt, clearly indicating some form of a return.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I just want to return these; I don’t have any use for them.”

(I make sure the items are still in their original packaging and haven’t been used, and I also check the receipt for their prices.)

Me: “Yup, everything seems fine, and it comes to a total of $6.00! Were you planning on doing any shopping today?”

Customer: “No, I’ll just take the amount back onto my card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we actually don’t do refunds for a change of mind, and the items are less than $10, so—”

Customer: “What? Where does it say this? No one has ever told me this!”

Me: *points to the large, white sign taped to the counter, then to her receipt* “It’s right there on the counter and also written on your receipt. We’ve always had this policy.”

Customer: “You can’t do this! I know my rights as a customer! I have a right to a refund!”

Me: “We’re not required to give refunds. We do usually offer store credit, but because the amount is less than—”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll just take store credit, then.”

Me: *trying to keep my cool* “Unfortunately, we can only process store credit for a value over $10. Your total is less than that, so I cannot give it to you in this case.”

Customer: *clearly frustrated* “WHY?”

Me: “The amount goes onto one of our gift cards, and they can only be validated with a value over $10.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You can’t just force people to spend their money like this! I demand you give me a refund!”

(My supervisor overhears this conversation and comes over.)

Supervisor: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “You’re refusing me a refund! This is absurd! It’s only $6.00! If you’re not going to give me credit, I don’t see the point of buying something right away if I’m not going to have a use for it!”

Supervisor: *rolls her eyes at me, knowing I’ve already explained everything to the lady* “Yeah, it’s fine; just give her the refund.”

(I sigh and go and get the paperwork. I spend several minutes filling out all the details, have her sign it, and then go to process the refund.)

Me: “Okay, so that’s $6.00 back onto your card. Just tap it when you’re ready, and it will just ask for your PIN.”

(The lady presses the card to the machine and then places it back in her purse and stands there quietly for a few moments, waiting.)

Me: “So, it’s just going to need your PIN.”

Customer: “What? Why? It’s a refund!”

Me: “Yes, but the system cannot process the refund without a PIN.”

Customer: “But… but I don’t remember my PIN!”

Me: “There’s no way to do the refund without it.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

(I nod coolly, because I know that if I speak it will come out as a scream.)

Customer: “Okay, maybe I’ll just have a look around and see if I can find anything.” *walks away*

Me: “…”

Coworker: “Un-f******-believable.”

(She came back an hour later with a trolley’s worth of items that added up to $110 after taking out the original $6.00 refund value. The moment she left, I went into the back room and screamed while my supervisor laughed her head off. It’s a good thing it wasn’t a busy day that day.)

(I am temporarily answering the company phone for the receptionist when I get a call that, according to caller ID, comes from “Illegal scammer.” Slightly curious, I pick it up.)

Caller: “Is [Former Owner] there?”

Me: “No, he sold the company two years ago.”

Caller: “Is the current owner available?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “When will the owner be available?”

Me: “We’re owned by a company in Ohio. You can’t reach them with this number.”

Caller: “Oh, so you’re corporate owned. Thank you. You’ve been really helpful and really, really rude.” *click*

(I’ll concede that I was a little rude, since I was so thrown by the caller ID, but the way the caller talked you’d think I’d viciously cussed her out. Even weirder, she was perfectly friendly up until the sudden accusation of rudeness.)