Prepaid Dissuade

, , , , | Right | February 28, 2018

(Unfortunately, this actually happens daily, and more that we’d like to admit.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, just send it back via USPS using the prepaid and self-addressed envelope that we sent you.”

Caller: “So, do I have to pay for it? I don’t want to pay for it. And is the address there?”

Me: *facepalms*

(And so sets the mood for the rest of the day.)

Resigned Yourself To Not Caring Anymore

, , , , , , | Working | February 28, 2018

(It is my last day of working retail ever. I am very pregnant and very cranky, and I have been in retail dealing with a**hole customers for seven years at this point. None of us are at our best right now, especially me, mainly because I don’t have any f***s left to give.)

Customer: *gets super close to my personal space*

Me: *moves away and continues stocking bakery items from my cart* “Hi! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: *completely ignores me, and continues to browse the table I’m stocking*

Me: *stocking the table in silence*

Customer: *looks over at me* “Ma’am?”

Me: *looks him directly in the eyes* “Yes, sir, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “YOO-OO HOOOOO!” *waves hands in front of me, and I jump back*

Me: “Yes? What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “You know, you really should acknowledge when people speak to you!” *waves his hand in my face again* “Yooo-hooo! Hellooooo! Can you hear me?”

Me: *checks the time and sees that my shift is over, puts the item I’m holding back on the cart I was stocking from* “You know what? F*** this. I’m out of here!” *looks at the customer again* “And you know what? You should acknowledge when people speak to you! Courtesy and listening skills would get you a long d*** way.”

(I go clock out as he storms over to my store manager and starts a very animated conversation with her. I have to walk by them to get to the locker room.)

Manager: *steps back to address me, earning a glare from the customer* “Hey, when’s the last shift before your maternity leave?”

Me: “Oh, it just ended. Sorry, I thought you knew.”

Manager: “No? Hmm.” *to the customer* “Well, she’s on leave, and I don’t want to deal with the paperwork, corporate inquiries, and lawsuits.”

Customer: “FIRE. HER. NOW. Or, I will never shop here again!”

Manager: “Fine, bye! [Competitor] is full of entitled snoots like you, and they’re only half a mile away! You’ll be right at home!” *walks away*

(The manager walks into the break room.)

Manager: “Oh, hey, you’re fired.”

Me: “Ohmygods! The discriminations! Nooooo!” *acts like I’m mortally wounded in a badly comedic way*

Manager: “Okay, you’re hired again.”

Me: “But I already resigned!”

Manager: “…”

Me: “…”

Manager: “Wait, really?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry. Letter’s on your desk. And you already have the staff to replace me from the other store!”

Manager: “So… Oh. Oh, no.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m really moving. Sorry for that ‘no f***s given’ situation there.”

Manager: “Wow. Yeah, well, you’ve done us a huge favor, getting rid of that guy before I had to trespass him! He’s such a nuisance!”

Not Getting That Friday Feeling

, , , , , , | Working | February 27, 2018

(I work full-time overnight, 9:00 pm to 6:00 am, stocking at a large superstore that sells everything in bulk. I have done so for the last six years with no attendance or disciplinary issues. However, during the day I also have a part-time job which I love and where I want to have career. In June, I was offered a promotion at my day job, and at that time informed my overnight job manager that I may have to cut my hours at the store down to part-time. He assured me that it was no problem; I just needed to give him notice. It is now September.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], you know how I said I might cut down to part-time? It’s time. I was just offered this great opportunity to run a program at my day job, and I need to cut down from working five nights per week to working four.”

Manager: “That’s great. What night do you need off?”

Me: “Friday nights. I already have Wednesday and Thursday nights off, and I’ll keep those the same if it’s easiest, but I have to have Friday nights and Saturday mornings off so that I can run this program. It’s really important. I can work the next three Fridays, though. Is that okay?”

Manager: “Sure, no problem. It should be fine. I’ll just check the schedule.”

(I work that Friday as usual and catch up with him a week later.)

Me: “How’s the schedule? Is everything set?”

Manager: “I haven’t had a chance to check the schedule yet, but I’ll do it as soon as possible. I’m really busy right now.”

Me: “Okay, but I can only work this Friday and the next.”

Manager: “Don’t worry; I’ll take care of it.”

(I work another Friday, and another week passes. I talk to him again before I work my last Friday, and he once again assures me that even though he has not yet “had a chance to check the schedule,” it’ll be fine. The schedule never changes to reflect this, however, so I go to him one last time on Tuesday night before I’m supposed to take my first three-day weekend.)

Me: “Hey, is everything set for me to take my first Friday off?”

Manager: “Oh, [My Name]. I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I checked the schedule. There is no way that you can take Friday off. We have too many people scheduled off that night, and I would have to change four or five people around to get us coverage. It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. You understand, right? So, I’ll see you Friday, okay?”

Me: “What do you mean? You said it was okay. I’ve already accepted this offer from my other job because you said it was okay. I cannot work on Friday.”

Manager: “Well, I hadn’t checked the schedule then, so I didn’t know. Besides, your official availability doesn’t say that, so I need you to be here.”

Me: “I’m not coming in on Friday. You gave me permission, I agreed to this opportunity because you said you would change the schedule, and I will not back out of my promise to my day job. I guess I’ll just have to call in sick on Fridays until you fire me, because I will not be coming in.”

(I kept my promise. After a couple of weeks, he realized I was serious and changed the schedule so that I had Fridays off. Only one person was inconvenienced: the new guy who had started two months prior. I left that job a few months later.)

They Have A Listening Allergy

, , , , , | Right | February 27, 2018

(I work for a beekeeper selling honey. We have one type specifically for allergies. Honey sticks, however, are pasteurized, and thus have zero allergy benefits.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy five honey sticks.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be one dollar.”

Customer: “Thanks. I’d like to try them for my allergies.”

Me: “Oh, well, if you need something for allergies, I’d recommend [allergy specific honey].”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll take the sticks.”

Me: “Well, we sell the sticks for snacks, but they are pasteurized and have no allergy benefits.”

Customer: “That’s fine.” *turns to husband/boyfriend* “Hey, babe, these will help my allergies.”

Me: “Ma’am, these have no allergy benefits; even if they weren’t pasteurized, you’d need to eat at least five a day.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll put one in my tea. That’ll help my allergies then, too, right?”

Me: *stunned* “Suuuure.”

Customer: “Wonderful!” *hands me a dollar*

Strolling Through The Paperwork

, , , , | Working | February 27, 2018

I work at a stroller rental booth at the local mall. Whenever someone wants to rent a stroller they need to sign a waiver.

We have a huge rush one day, so my coworker is handing out waivers while I assign strollers. We don’t have time to carefully look over the waivers as they are turned in.

After the rush, I begin sorting through the waivers and realise my coworker probably should have been paying more attention.

It is clear a mother just handed the clipboard to her child to sign because the writing is messy and under name, they just put, “My Ma.”

My coworker is fired a few days later for being incompetent again, as she gives out strollers without anyone signing waivers because she doesn’t want to “deal with the paperwork.”

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