Unfiltered Story #221200

, , | Unfiltered | December 27, 2020

(I work for a financial software company in tech support for our customers. One day a colleague gets a call.)

Customer: “Hi, I can’t get this link to open”
Co-worker: “Ok, I can help you with that. Does the link say you have invoices to handle in software A or software B?”
Customer: “Yes, it’s this link and when I click it, I can’t get it to open”
Co-worker: “Ok, I’ll help you to sort it out, but I need to know what kind of link it is, does it say software A or software B?”
Customer: “It is about this property map”
Co-worker: “A property map?”
Customer: “Yes, I got this e-mail about a property where I’m about to build a house and there’s a link to the land distribution map, but the link doesn’t open”
Co-worker: “I’m so sorry to say, but you’ve got the wrong number now, we’re a financial software company and our tech support is meant for our customers. I really don’t know how to help you with that”
Customer: “I certainly called the right number, this number was given in the e-mail I got!”
Co-worker: “Are you absolutely sure, cause we’re not related to any property matters, we’re a financial software company”
Customer: “I am absolutely sure, I checked the number twice when dialling!”
Co-worker: “….. That sounds interesting. I’m so sorry, but I’m a bit confused right now. Would it be possible for you to send the e-mail to me, so I could check it?”
Customer: “Sure I can send it to you, if that helps to solve the matter”

(When the e-mail arrived, it certainly wasn’t related to any of our software and there actually were no telephone numbers in the e-mail, only contact information said: “If you have trouble opening the link, please contact [email]”. We were wondering with colleagues how he got to call us and so surely claimed he has the right number. We finally came to the conclusion that he googled “support” and our number came up first (we actually tested this and yes, our number came up first) and he then called us thinking we are the support for his issue.)

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The Return Of Mozzarella Filofax

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2020

I work for a software company in customer support. We’ve encountered a rare fault that customers are reporting and we already have a clue what might be the reason, but we haven’t yet quite cracked the problem. I’m chatting with a customer trying to get essential information from them.

Me: “Who’s your Internet provider?”

Customer: “Firefox.”

Me: “That’s good that you’re using Firefox; that’s our recommended browser. Can you tell me which company provides your Internet connection?”

Customer: “Mozilla.”

Me: “Okay, good. Do you have your Internet connection with [Company #1], [Company #2], [Company #3], or maybe with some other company?”

Customer: “I don’t know why you’re asking all these questions from me!”

Me: “I’m sorry if I’ve been unclear. The issue you’re experiencing seems to be related to certain Internet providers and we’re trying to gather information so we can pinpoint exactly where the problem is and fix it. In order to do that, it would be really helpful if you could let me know your Internet provider.”

Customer: “I’ve told you already, it’s Firefox! I don’t know why you’re making this so hard. I just want this thing to work! Make it work!”

Not Quite As Fast As A Fox In A Fire

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Unfiltered Story #216034

, , | Unfiltered | November 21, 2020

While at work, I notice a woman being escorted out by two burly security guards. The woman, so far, hasn’t been restrained and is only being escorted out from the train station. I notice her looking at both of the guards, sizing them up. This is when she does something I thought nobody would be dumb enough to do – she spits on one of the guards.

Five seconds later and she’s cuffed on the ground. Now, instead of being escorted out from the station and getting away clean, I notice she’s being escorted inside the guards’ station, presumably to be collected by police for assaulting a security guard, as well as charged for any other disturbance she caused in the first place.

To this day, I wonder what went on inside that woman’s head.

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Unfiltered Story #196242

, , | Unfiltered | June 12, 2020

I work as a security officer and I was having my coffee break and went to buy myself a drink from the airport grocery store when a lady comes up to me:
Lady: Excuse me, where do you have water?
Me: Uh… I don’t have water.
Lady: Of course you do! Where do you have water?!
Me: No, I really don’t have water. That’s why I’m here actually.
Lady: You’re a shop! You have to have water!
Me: I’m neither a shop nor do I work in one, sorry
I’m just a customer here.
Lady: Don’t give me that crap. You obviously work at the airport!
Me: Yes, I never claimed I didn’t. I just don’t work at this shop, I work for the security.
Lady: I don’t care!! You work at the airport, this shop is at the airport!
Me: Yes, we obviously switch around the tasks at the beginning of the day. Tomorrow I’ll be a pilot… You’re standing on front of the waters by the way. Have a nice day.

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You Say Tomato, I Say Liar

, , , | Right | May 14, 2020

The customer comes to my register, places her purchases on the lane, and shows me a plastic case of cherry tomatoes.

Customer: “I just noticed one of these tomatoes has gone bad. Could I get a discount?”

Me: “Unless that’s the only case of tomatoes left, I’m sorry, but I can’t. Would you like to go get a new case?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m in too much hurry! Are you sure you can’t do anything?”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m not even authorized to give discounts. I’d have to phone someone who’d just tell you to get a new box.”

Customer: “That won’t do. I don’t want them, then. I just don’t have time.”

The customer didn’t buy the cherry tomatoes. I rang her through extra fast, seeing as she seemed to be very busy. After the customer paid, I noticed her staying around for at least fifteen minutes, happily chatting with someone, before leaving.

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