A few years ago, my wife fell and broke her arm. It was serious enough to require surgery, so we made an appointment with the trauma surgeon. On the day of the appointment, with my wife’s arm all bandaged and in a sling, we make our way to the doctor’s office. We were getting off the elevator with one other person, and she decided we weren’t moving fast enough. The woman basically pushed past us to get in line at the front desk, in front of us. It is about 2:15 in the afternoon. Our appointment was at 2:30.

Impatient Woman: “My name is Mrs. [Impatient Woman], and I have a 3:00 appointment with [Same doctor we are seeing], but I have other appointments today, so I need to see the doctor immediately!”

Young Nurse: “Well, we can check you in; however, the doctor’s schedule is full today, and, as of now, he is running about thirty minutes behind. So, you can either wait or reschedule.”

Impatient Woman: “This is ridiculous that I should have to wait that long.”

Young Nurse: *Very politely.* “I’m sorry, ma’am, we can reschedule if you’d like.”

Impatient Woman: “I’ll wait, but you have no idea how much of an inconvenience this is!”

She huffs away and finds a seat.

My wife and I check in without any problems and sit down. The waiting room is almost full, and the only seats next to each other are right next to the check-in desk. About twenty minutes later, [Impatient Woman] approaches the desk again, and I can hear everything.

Impatient Woman: *Rudely.* “Exactly what time is the doctor going to see me? I have other appointments today. I have been waiting over an hour!”

A more seasoned nurse steps up to the desk.

Seasoned Nurse: “What was your name?”

Impatient Woman: “Mrs. [Impatient Woman]!”

[Seasoned Nurse] does a little typing.

Seasoned Nurse: “Ma’am, I see you checked in at 2:16, so you have been waiting about twenty minutes. [Young Nurse] explained to you that we are fully booked today; we are behind schedule, and offered to reschedule. You can reschedule or wait. Those are your options.”

Impatient Woman: “When is your next opening?”

Seasoned Nurse: “[Date two weeks from today].”

Impatient Woman: “WHAT?!? I made this appointment over a month ago!”

[Seasoned Nurse] does a little more typing.

Seasoned Nurse: “Ma’am, I show you made this appointment on [date], which was six days ago, so, again, you can wait or reschedule.”

I am trying not to stare, although other patients are, but I can see her getting more and more frustrated that she isn’t getting her way.

Impatient Woman: “Fine, I’ll wait!” She goes and sits back in her chair, crosses her arms and legs, and is muttering something to herself.”

About 3:00, my wife and I get called in (ahead of [Impatient Woman]). I am helping my wife up to make sure she is comfortable; we start to make our way to the door. I can see [Impatient Woman] staring daggers at us. She storms back up to the check-in desk.

Impatient Woman: “I am very upset! I checked in before them (pointing at us), and they get to go in first?!?”

Seasoned Nurse: *Very calmly.* “Their appointment was before yours, so yes, they will go in before you, that’s how this system works.”

[Impatient Woman] was arguing some more, but I didn’t hear her because we made it to the doctor’s office. After we saw the doctor, we had to schedule a follow-up appointment, which meant going back to the check-in desk in the waiting area. [Impatient Woman] was gone, so I don’t know if she gave up or finally made it in. I made sure to thank both nurses and compliment them on their patience. I’m sure it’s just another day in the office for them!

Related:
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 24
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 23
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 22
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 21
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 20

Visiting my hometown, I regularly frequented a local restaurant where I was well known to management and staff. Going in for dinner for a second consecutive night, I decided to have the same main course as the previous night.

Me: “I’ll have the half roast duck. I enjoyed it last night, so can I have the other half of the same duck?”

When he brought the food.

Server: “The chef says it’s not the same duck, but it is his brother.”

A great comeback, I thought.

I work for a well-known UK retailer selling discounted goods; everything from toys to homewares, art supplies to tools.

It’s coming up to Christmas 2024. 

I’m in one of the aisles, restocking some of our Christmas decorations, which have obviously been selling VERY quickly! 

I hear a voice beside me:

Customer: “Scuze me, love? Would you have somewhere I can try this on?”

I’m surprised, as apart from hats and gloves, our store doesn’t sell ANYTHING that could be considered “clothing that needs to be tried on”.

I turn and see a woman in her late 30s holding a decorative skirt for a Christmas tree. It’s bright red and decorated with pictures of holly and candy canes, stuff like that.

Me: “Madam, that’s a tree skirt.”

Customer: “Aye, I know, love. Would ye have somewhere I can try it on?”

I’m not altogether sure if she is winding me up, so I say:

Me: “Madam… that’s a tree. Skirt. It’s a skirt for a Christmas tree.”

Suddenly, she flips:

Customer: “Right, if yer gonna be a d**k about it ye can f*** off!”

She throws the tree skirt into the aisle and storms off, leaving me wondering if I’ve just been pranked.

I used to work in an electrical shop. My boss was interested in electric lighting and was quite proud of our lighting section. We were one of the few lighting suppliers in the area, and my boss always tried to keep our prices VERY competitive. The fact that he went to our two suppliers’ annual lighting conferences and knew all the reps and managers by name helped, as they always gave him good prices, which he would try to pass on to our customers. 

[Boss] had a couple of rules about lighting.

The first was that we were NOT allowed to offer discounts on light fittings, because we made virtually NO profit on them, and if we gave a discount, we’d potentially be losing money. The second was that customers were NOT permitted to place custom orders for fittings we didn’t normally stock and couldn’t get from our supplier. The reason for this second rule will become apparent once you read the story below. 

One day, a woman came into our shop looking for a specific light fitting. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted and didn’t feel inspired by anything we had in stock, so she asked [Boss]:

Customer: “Do you have a catalogue I could look at?”

[Boss] was always reluctant to give customers the catalogue, for reasons which will soon become apparent, but he gave it to her and she had a look through it.

Eventually, she came over to speak to [Boss], having made up her mind.

Customer: “I want [VERY specific light fitting].”

She wants one that looks like a ship’s helm.

Boss: “We don’t stock that particular fitting. It will have to be a special order from our supplier.”

Customer: “Order it. It will be perfect in my dining room.”

[Boss] REALLY didn’t want to order it, and he explained to the customer why this was the case; our supplier would have to place a special order for it. Because it was a special order, we would not be able to return it to our supplier if the customer rejected it, so [Customer] had to be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that this was what she wanted.

Well, [Customer] PLEADED with [boss] to get him to order the light fitting. She absolutely HAD to have it, because:

Customer: “It will look FANTASTIC in my dining room!”

And so, going against his every instinct, [Boss] phoned the supplier’s rep and told him what he wanted. The rep reminded [Boss] that there was a “no returns” policy on special orders like this one, and [Boss] confirmed that he understood. The rep placed the order, and [Boss] took the customer’s details and a deposit, and told her he’d be in touch when the light fitting arrived. 

Now, let me tell you about this light fitting: it looked exactly like a ship’s helm, as I said, with lights mounted around the rim. It was also huge, according to the catalogue, it was about two metres in diameter (around six feet) and had to hang from a pair of very thick and very heavy chains. As [Boss] and I looked at the pictures in the catalogue, we struggled to imagine this monstrosity having a place anywhere in a private house!

Well, with the order placed, [Boss] told me:

Boss: “I know I’m going to regret it.”

But it was done. The rep told us the special order would take about a week to come from their warehouse, so all we could do now was wait.

Sure enough, a week later, on schedule, the light fitting arrived. The packaging it came in was enormous, and it took some effort for me and [Boss] to bring it into the shop and unpack it, as the thing was so heavy! When we finally got it unpacked, our anxieties about it were confirmed.

It. Was. Absolutely. HIDEOUS!

It looked ridiculous, and [Boss] remarked:

Boss: “There is absolutely NO WAY that [Customer] will accept this.”

He phoned her anyway, and she came in, and he showed her the light fitting. When she saw it, her jaw dropped.

Customer: “Oh! Is that IT?”

[Boss] knew what was coming.

Customer: “I had no idea it would look like that in real life! That’s going to look ridiculous in my dining room!”

[Boss] reminded her that she’d committed to it. He reminded her that she HAD been told that as a special order, she HAD to take it and had even paid a deposit.

Customer: *Protesting.* “But I don’t WANT it!”

She wasn’t exactly coming across as rude, just disappointed. Once again, [Boss] reminded her of the policy, and once again she refused to accept the light fitting.

Customer: “What on earth would I DO with it?”

We had a couple of ideas, but we said nothing. [Customer] refused to pay for the light fitting and asked for her deposit back. This was technically non-refundable, but [Boss] gave her the refund anyway, to placate her and prevent her from BECOMING hostile (like I said, she wasn’t too angry yet).

Disappointed, the customer left our shop, saying she’d go and look for lights elsewhere. [Boss] mounted the light fitting on the ceiling with a price tag at cost price, chiefly so we could get rid of it. The monstrosity hung there for months and was eventually purchased by a local collector with very unusual tastes.

But after that, [Boss] placed a permanent ban on special lighting orders, telling future customers that if it wasn’t something we had in stock, we couldn’t get it. Only once did we break that rule – when my dad wanted particular light fittings for his new sunroom, chose something reasonable looking from the catalogue, paid up front and LOVED how the fittings looked when they were installed. [Boss] told me that he only broke his own rule because it was for my dad.

Back in February, my wife and I went to visit my parents for a couple of days. We’d heard that a new chain bookshop had opened in the local shopping centre, and since my wife is a bit of a bookworm, we decided to pay it a visit.

We were looking around, and I burst out laughing. My wife was intrigued, so she came over and asked what was so funny.

Me: *Pointing* “Is that meant to be bookshop humour?”

My wife looked at what I was pointing at and laughed, too. On a shelf was a book called “The Complete Sailing Manual”, which staff had arranged next to a book about the Titanic. My wife agreed that it was probably a weird attempt at bookshop humour.