Dry Demands

| USA | Right | July 2, 2016

(A guest comes up to the desk with damp hair and a look of fury.)

Me: “Hello, may I help y—“

Guest: “I WAS TRYING TO DRY MY HAIR AND YOUR STUPID HAIR DRYER DOES NOT WORK IN MY ROOM! YOU’RE AN IDIOT AND SO IS THIS HOTEL!”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry ma’am. I’ll go fetch you another one.”

Guest: “YOU BETTER! AND HURRY UP, OR I’LL MISS MY FLIGHT! NOW! WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING?”

(I tell the manager to watch the desk while I find her another hair dryer. It takes a long time because all I can find are broken ones. Finally I head up to the desk with a working dryer.)

Guest: *screaming* “MY FLIGHT! MY FLIGHT, YOU INCOMPETENT IDIOTS!”

Manager: *whispers to me* “Where were you? The lady was getting more and more agitated!”

Me: “I couldn’t find a working one.” *to Guest* “Here you go, ma’am. Again, sorry about that.”

Guest: “YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS!” *snatches dryer and goes to dry her hair in the lobby bathrooms*

(She takes a while, and meanwhile I notice something: it’s raining hard outside. She finally comes out and throws the dryer at my manager, which hits the counter. Pieces of dryer fall off and my manager picks it up. She makes a beeline for the door. I also notice she had no umbrella.)

Me: “Ma’am, wait…”

Guest: “WHAT, IDIOT?”

Me: “…Never mind.”

(She throws me a dirty look, stomps outside, and her hair goes from dry to damp again in five seconds. I saw her throw another childish fit in the street! Glad I didn’t have to hear it! All that for nothing.)

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Knows Zip About The Post Code, Part 2

| Moncton, NB, Canada | Working | June 28, 2016

(A guest is wanting to check in. He has a prepaid reservation made through an American travel site that we don’t do very much business with, since their prices are advertised in American funds and after the conversion the customers often ending paying more than they would have if they had booked directly with us. As I pull up his reservation I notice that the company’s credit card number is missing from the reservation so once he is off to his room I give the company a call in order to get the credit card number.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name], and I am the assistant general manager at [Hotel]. I am calling about a reservation for a customer named John Doe. The credit card number is not attached to the reservation and I’m going to need that information.”

Worker: “Yes, ma’am, I can certainly help you with that. May I have your name, the name of the hotel, and the name of the customer, please?”

Me: “You mean the information that I just gave you? Okay.” *I repeat the information*

Worker: “Okay, and can I have the customer’s confirmation number, please?”

Me: “I can give you our confirmation number but I wouldn’t have the one provided to the customer by your company.”

Worker: “Well, how can I look him up, then?”

Me: “…By his name, check in date, and the hotel name? That’s normally how it’s done when I have to make these kinds of calls.”

Worker: “Oh, yes, yes, okay, ma’am. Sorry. Yes, what is the hotel address then?”

(I proceed to give the street address, city and province and postal code.)

Worker: “Okay, and the zip code?”

Me: “The postal code is A1A 2B2.”

Worker: “No, the ZIP code. Five numbers.”

Me: We live in Canada; we don’t use zip codes. I’ve given you my postal code. You need to use that.”

Worker: “What is your zip code?”

Me: “Again, I don’t have a zip code. This is a Canadian address, our POSTAL CODE, is A2A 2B2.”

Worker: “Okay, I found it. This is Northwood Medical Center in North Carolina?”

Me: “What?! No, this is [Hotel] in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada.”

Worker: “Okay, what is the zip code?”

Me: “NO ZIP CODE! We are NOT in the United States; we are in CANADA. As in up north, igloos and snow and toques? We have POSTAL CODES. They are six figures, letter and numbers. It is A1A 2B2.”

Worker: “Oh, I’m so sorry, madam. This is New Brunswick, New Jersey, correct?”

Me: “No! We are in Moncton, which is a city in the Canadian province of New Brunswick. We are not located in the United States. Have you tried changing the country code on your search page from the US to Canada? If it’s anything like our system you have to change the country code for the postal code or zip code to pull up the correct city.”

Worker: “Please hold while I speak to my supervisor.”

(She then sighs loudly and I hear dialing followed by ringing. I realize right away that she thinks I’m on hold and that I can’t hear her while she connects to whoever she is going to speak to.)

Worker: “Yeah, Jane, I don’t what to do here. This crazy b**** is wanting help with her reservation but she’s too dumb to know her own damn zip code so I can’t pull up the hotel to find the reservation. I’m asking and asking and she’s trying to tell me she doesn’t have a zip code. She’s giving me a bunch of letters and s*** trying to tell me that in New Brunswick, New Jersey they don’t have zip codes?”

(Pause.)

Worker: “There’s no such thing as a postal code. I’m 52 years old I’ve never even heard the word postal code. She’s just confused and doesn’t know how to read her own address. She’s probably giving me her postal box number or something. And she claims to be the assistant general manager. What a laugh.”

Me: “Excuse me, but first of all I heard everything you just said because I’m not on hold so you might want to pay a little more attention to what you’re doing before you bad mouth your clients. Second of all, those letters and numbers are in fact my business postal code. I told you number of times that we are NOT located within the United States; we are in CANADA. I have told you this a number of times and you have ignored me. Now I would like to be assisted by someone who knows how to listen and then I would like to speak to someone about making a formal complaint.”

(There is a click as the supervisor immediately connects.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am, I am so sorry about this. [Worker], transfer the call to my line, clock out, and come to my office. We need to talk.”

Worker: “I don’t… Wait, what? I don’t understand.”

Supervisor: “Most countries don’t use zip codes; they use postal codes. Remember in training when you were shown how the country codes were configured to determine the city and state or province based on the zip or postal code?”

Worker: “Yeah? So… OH! She’s not American!”

Supervisor: “Transfer the call; she can still hear you.”

Worker: “Oh, right!” *back to formal telephone voice* “Is there anything else I can help you with today, ma’am?”

Me: “No… No, you really can’t.”

Worker: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. Have a nice day.”

(The supervisor got me the information I needed just by using the customer’s name and arrival date and she allowed me to file a formal complaint which they later followed up on. I hate dealing with this company but I’m glad to know some people there have a brain.)

Related:

Knows Zip About The Post Code

When Religion A-tax

| GA, USA | Right | June 23, 2016

(I’m the night auditor/overnight clerk at a random hotel adjacent to the interstate in Georgia. A potential client comes in around one am.)

Customer: “I’d like to rent a room.”

Me: “I have space available. Tonight’s price is [total] plus state and local tax.”

Customer: “I don’t have to pay tax.”

(Customer presents tax exemption form from Florida, naming a church, which exempts church activities from Florida state taxes.)

Me: “Well, I’m not familiar with Florida tax rules, but this doesn’t exempt Georgia taxes. I can’t waive them with this form.”

Customer: “You’re going to Hell.”

Me: “I’ve been through an audit. Hell sounds better. But if you are here on official business, it’s a simple matter to file for a refund in Georgia. I’m afraid that I can’t waive sales and use tax with these forms.”

Customer: “Thou whited sepulcher.”

Me: “Render unto Caesar.”

Customer: “God is going to smite you!”

Me: “I’ll be glad to rent a room to you, at [total] rate, plus tax. If you won’t pay the taxes, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Customer: “I don’t pay taxes! God’s people don’t pay taxes! If anyone calls for me, forward my calls to [Hotel across the street, which also collects proper taxes.] Good evening!”

Next Customer In Line: “What do you drink? You dealt with that like someone who drinks after work!”

(The next customer checked in, paid for his room and taxes, and came to the lobby an hour later with a six-pack for me.)

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Pocketed Protection

| USA | Working | June 22, 2016

(The phone rings and my coworker answers it.)

Coworker: “Hello? Oh, I’m sorry.”

(After a while, he hangs up and tells me he’ll be back. He leaves and then comes back with a box of condoms.)

Me: “What’re those? Omigosh…”

Coworker: “Yeah. Guest found these in his drawers, just now.”

Me: “Are you sure they aren’t his?”

Coworker: “Yeah, he says that they’re not…”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I see my coworker take out a piece of paper and I figure that he’s going to write a note for the managers, but when I turn around, the box of condoms is gone!)

Me: “Hey, where’s the…?”

Coworker: “Put them in the manager’s office.” *pockets bulging*

Me: “Riiiight…”

Alarmingly Good Service

| GA, USA | Right | June 22, 2016

(It is two am at a budget hotel next to a busy interstate. I’ve just booked a tired lady into a room, ensuring that she and her car were near the lobby so that I could keep an eye on a lone woman as she entered the building.)

Me: “Would you like for me to set a wake up alarm for the morning? I can set two, if you’re afraid you’ll go back to sleep.”

Guest: “That would be great. 8:30?”

Me: “Sure! And we serve breakfast and coffee here in the lobby until 9:30. You also have a coffeemaker in your room, if you don’t want to face the world without caffeine. Would you like an extra coffee pod for in-room?”

Guest: “You’re doing this all wrong.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: *with a very tired smile* “I just phoned my husband, telling him where I was, and complaining about dealing with a surly, clueless night clerk. And here you are, being pleasant and helpful; you’re doing this all wrong!”

Me: “I apologize. I’ll be abrasive next time, when you aren’t so tired.”

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