Paying The Price For Smugness

| USA | Right | February 3, 2017

(At our hotel, we have a little convenience store that people can choose snacks and bring them up to the counter to buy. We have a price list, but I’ve mostly memorized the prices.)

Customer: “I’d like this ice cream, please.”

Me: “OK, $3.”

Customer: “Are you sure? That’s a little much. Look in the price book, please.”

Me: “Okay…”

(Even though I have a line behind her and phone ringing, I check the prices while she stands there smug.)

Me: “Oh, sorry, it’s actually $4.50.”

Customer: “I’d like the $3.”

(I made her pay $4.50. She screamed obscenities, but too bad!)

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Losing The Loser Contest

| Canada | Working | January 27, 2017

(One of the managers at my hotel is very sarcastic. He’s joking around with my coworker.)

Manager: “[Coworker], you’re a loser.”

Me & Coworker: *laughs*

Manager: “But not the number one loser. You’re the second loser. That’s even worse because you’re not even enough of a loser to be the first loser.” *walks away*

You’re In Hot Water Now

| MN, USA | Working | January 25, 2017

(I work at a hotel. It is a cold winter’s day, and a window happens to freeze up.)

Me: “We need to scrape it off; I’ll get the scraper.”

Coworker: “Can’t we just melt it with hot water?”

Me: ”No, the water would just freeze.”

Coworker: “But it’s hot water.”

Me: “It still freezes; I’ll get the scraper.”

(I go to get the scraper and come back seeing my coworker pouring hot water on the ice.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Coworker: “I’m melting the ice.”

Me: “I told you not to!”

Coworker: “But it’ll melt faster!”

(Thermodynamics happened; melting didn’t.)

It’s Been A Long Day Exactly

| London, England, UK | Right | January 25, 2017

(I’m sitting on reception when two ladies come to check in. I check them in and everything is fine until I start telling them the hotel information.)

Me: “The bar is open 24 hours for hotel guests.”

Guest #1: *looks at me shocked…* “Only 24 hours? But we are here four nights.”

Me: *looking at her dumbfounded and speechless*

Guest #2: “Don’t… don’t worry about her… We had a long trip… We’ll be going up to our room now.”

The Forecast Calls For Stupid

| St Andrews, Scotland, UK | Right | January 21, 2017

(I work reception at a hotel. One afternoon, a guest calls to enquire about availability for some dates in the next few weeks. He has a lot of questions, but the last one is the best.)

Guest: “I have one last question, and I know you won’t be able to answer it.”

Me: “…okay?”

Guest: “What’s the weather looking like over there?”

Me: “Right now?”

Guest: “No, for two weeks from now. The dates I want to book.”

Me: “Umm… I’m not sure. Let me… check the BBC weather online?”

Guest: “No, I’m looking at the weather online and it says it’s going to be rainy.”

Me: “Then it’s going to be rainy!”

Guest: “NO. I want to know how hard it’s going to rain. Like, if it says ‘Rain,’ does that mean driving rain or sprinkling rain or will it even rain at all?”

Me: “Sir, if the weather forecast says it’s going to rain, then it’s going to rain. I can’t predict the weather for you.”

Guest: *sigh* “Well, I KNEW you couldn’t help me!”

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