(I am working the customer service desk. My manager has just arrived and is standing near me. I am currently helping a customer when another customer lines up behind and this happens.)

Customer #1: *in line, pointing to a small container of hummus* “Could you help me unwrap this?”

Manager: *opens package slightly for him* “[My Name] will help you check out.”

Me: *finishing with first customer* “Hello, sir. How are you today?”

Customer #1: “Fine.” *rips rest of package off before paying*

(Upon scanning the barcode of the package, I notice he has put some change beside it, but the item is slightly more expensive.)

Me: “Your total today is [price].”

(The customer throws down his unwrapped hummus container angrily.)

Customer #1: “NO. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE TWO FOR [PRICE]! THAT’S [SLIGHTLY CHEAPER PRICE] EACH!”

Me: “Unfortunately, you have to buy two items to get that price.”

Customer #1: “NO! IT’S BUY ONE FOR [SLIGHTLY CHEAPER PRICE] AND THAT’S ALWAYS HOW IT’S BEEN AT [THIS STORE] AND [COMPETITOR]!” *throws some random coins down, but it’s still not enough* “THERE! THAT’S ALL THE MONEY I HAVE!”

Me: *not sure what to do* “Uh, I… I’m sorry, sir.”

Manager: “I will go check the sign.”

(Another customer has just lined up behind the irate customer and has obviously heard him yelling.)

Customer #2: “Here.” *holding out enough money to pay for [Customer #1]*

Me: “Oh, are you sure? Thank you so much!”

Customer #1: *still yelling and flailing about*

Customer #2: “Hey, bud, it’s all right. I paid for it.” *hands him hummus*

Customer #1: “You’re a real gentleman, sir!” *gives me a dirty look and leaves*

(In [Customer #1]’s haste, he does not pick up his change, since [Customer #2] has more than paid his hummus. I deduct that from [Customer #2]’s order and thank him profusely. [Customer #2] is also buying a lottery ticket.)

Me: “Hopefully good karma is on your side and you’ll win big!”

(My manager came back and confirmed that not only was there not a current deal for buying two items, but the correct price was also clearly advertised.)

(I’m at a grocery store. It’s shortly before the store closes and their sale prices end. It’s a location I’ve never shopped in before, but I have been visiting a friend nearby, so I stop in. There are very few customers in the store, which is a bit surprising. I’ve been charged with purchasing the soft drinks for a large party and am buying 12-packs in a variety of flavors. Most of my shopping has been done on previous days and I’ve limited the purchases to 12 twelve-packs during each stop to avoid depleting the shelves. This store has stacks and stacks of the product, which surprises me, as the price is quite low and the other locations I’ve shopped at have limited quantities due to the large volume of sales.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry. I can only sell four 12-packs to you; we have to limit the sales so we don’t run out of product. Which would you like to buy?”

Me: “Really? The store is nearly overrun with the soda and the sale ends in an hour. Do you think you’re going to run out before then?”

Cashier: “That’s our policy and I can’t make any exceptions.”

Me: “May I speak with the manager, please?”

(The manager confirmed that this was the case and I would be only allowed to buy four, also that I wouldn’t be allowed to purchase more if I left the store and re-entered. I left, not purchasing anything, and made a hasty drive to the location near my home where I usually shop to get the rest of the soda. As expected, the supply was depleted, but I managed to find what I needed and check out with no issues. I mentioned my experience to the cashier, and she knew exactly to which store I’d been and related that the particular store has very low sales numbers and always has loads of unsold product at the end of special promotions, and the management there can’t figure out why.)

(It is my last day of working retail ever. I am very pregnant and very cranky, and I have been in retail dealing with a**hole customers for seven years at this point. None of us are at our best right now, especially me, mainly because I don’t have any f***s left to give.)

Customer: *gets super close to my personal space*

Me: *moves away and continues stocking bakery items from my cart* “Hi! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: *completely ignores me, and continues to browse the table I’m stocking*

Me: *stocking the table in silence*

Customer: *looks over at me* “Ma’am?”

Me: *looks him directly in the eyes* “Yes, sir, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “YOO-OO HOOOOO!” *waves hands in front of me, and I jump back*

Me: “Yes? What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “You know, you really should acknowledge when people speak to you!” *waves his hand in my face again* “Yooo-hooo! Hellooooo! Can you hear me?”

Me: *checks the time and sees that my shift is over, puts the item I’m holding back on the cart I was stocking from* “You know what? F*** this. I’m out of here!” *looks at the customer again* “And you know what? You should acknowledge when people speak to you! Courtesy and listening skills would get you a long d*** way.”

(I go clock out as he storms over to my store manager and starts a very animated conversation with her. I have to walk by them to get to the locker room.)

Manager: *steps back to address me, earning a glare from the customer* “Hey, when’s the last shift before your maternity leave?”

Me: “Oh, it just ended. Sorry, I thought you knew.”

Manager: “No? Hmm.” *to the customer* “Well, she’s on leave, and I don’t want to deal with the paperwork, corporate inquiries, and lawsuits.”

Customer: “FIRE. HER. NOW. Or, I will never shop here again!”

Manager: “Fine, bye! [Competitor] is full of entitled snoots like you, and they’re only half a mile away! You’ll be right at home!” *walks away*

(The manager walks into the break room.)

Manager: “Oh, hey, you’re fired.”

Me: “Ohmygods! The discriminations! Nooooo!” *acts like I’m mortally wounded in a badly comedic way*

Manager: “Okay, you’re hired again.”

Me: “But I already resigned!”

Manager: “…”

Me: “…”

Manager: “Wait, really?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry. Letter’s on your desk. And you already have the staff to replace me from the other store!”

Manager: “So… Oh. Oh, no.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m really moving. Sorry for that ‘no f***s given’ situation there.”

Manager: “Wow. Yeah, well, you’ve done us a huge favor, getting rid of that guy before I had to trespass him! He’s such a nuisance!”

(Chicken drumsticks were on sale the previous week for a dollar off per pound.)

Customer: “I’ll take ten pounds of drumsticks. These are on sale, right?”

Me: “No, sir. That was last week, sorry. This week they’re back to regular price.”

Customer: “That’s okay; just give them to me for the sale price.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I’m not able to do that, sir. The sale is over. Do you still want them?”

Customer: *waves impatiently* “Just change the price; I know you can.”

Me: “Uh, no. Actually, I can’t.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Just do it!”

Me: “Sir, the prices are downloaded into the scales from a central computer. I just punch in the product code. The price is what it is.”

Customer: “You can override it. Do you think I don’t know that?”

Me: “Well, that’s more than I know.”

(Even the department manager can’t override the prices, and I’m just a clerk.)

Customer: “Just do it!”

Me: “Even if I could do that, which I can’t, please explain to me why it would be worth losing my job just to save you a few dollars?”

Customer: “I know the owner.”

Me: “Oh, yes? Well, Mr. [Owner] knows a lot of people. I know him myself, and I don’t get to name my own prices in the store.” *smiling*

Customer: “Very funny. He’s a good friend of mine.”

Me: “Oh! Well, in that case, there’s no problem!”

Customer: “Aha! I knew it!”

Me: “Sure! You just call up your good friend and have him arrange a discount for you.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “You have his number, of course?”

Customer: *pause* “Just give me five pounds of drumsticks.”

Me: “Sure thing!” *bags and weighs* “That comes to [regular price]. Have a great day!”

(I’m in my late 20s, but because of my size, I am often mistaken for a teenager. A few months prior to this incident, my husband and I decided to start trying to conceive. I’m very excited and immediately go out and buy a pregnancy test. A few weeks later, the test is negative, and I go to the same store to buy a pack of tests. I am checked out by the same cashier, an older woman. When I approach with the tests, she gives me a disgusted look. The following happens:)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Cashier: “I’m fine… Honey, would you like me to show you where we keep the condoms? They’re not hard to find; they’re in the same aisle as the tests.”

Me: *a little taken aback* “No, thank you.”

(The cashier doesn’t ring out the test. She just looks at me.)

Cashier: “Sweetie, the condoms aren’t too expensive. We have some great options, and it would be a lot better than these constant scares.”

Me: “Oh, it’s not a scare—”

Cashier: *cuts me off* “I saw you a few weeks ago, buying a test. I remember because I said a prayer for you, that you wouldn’t be pregnant.”

Me: *getting angry now* “Well, that’s not a very nice thing to pray for! I want to be pregnant”

Cashier: *looks horrified* “Honey, you don’t want to be pregnant; trust me. You want to finish school, get a job, and find a guy who wants you for more than sex. Make the guy marry you first!”

Me: “Pretty sure this is none of your business, but my husband and I both have well-paying jobs, and a baby would be a blessing. Please ring me out.”

Cashier: “I can’t believe your parents let you get married so young!”

Me: “I’m almost 30. And again, this is none of your business.”

(She finally finished ringing me out, and I had a word with the manager about the incident. He promised to speak to her about it. It’s been two weeks, and when I go back she avoids me like the plague.)

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 17
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 16
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 15