Unfiltered Story #222156

, , , , | Unfiltered | January 7, 2021

(You’ll be amazed how often I get this.)
Me: [Towing Company], how can I help you?
Customer: I’m checking on a delivery of a vehicle.
Me: Okay, could I get the year, make, and model of yoru vehicle?
Customer: It’s a 1990 Ford.
Me: O…kay, and what’s the model of your vehicle?
Customer: 1990
Me: No, the model
Customer: Ford
Me: Ma’am, I have a couple 1990 Fords active right now. I need the model to help me look it up.
Customer: (spanish muttering conversation in the background) It’s a 1990 Ford!
Me: No, I need the model, what kind of Ford is it?
Customer: A 1990 Ford!
(This exchange goes on for about five minutes, and I’ve told her a couple times that you can look on the side or back of the vehicle for the model name. For most trucks, it’s on the side, and for cars, it’s on the back. At this point, they haven’t even described it as a truck or car, they just insist on 1990 Ford.)
Me: Alright, ma’am, I’ve got TWO 1990 Fords. Is it the Crown Victoria or the F-150
Customer: F-150.
(I tell her the ETA and hang up the phone, only to look over at the other graveyard dispatcher with tears in my eyes. I don’t know what to say, but he nods.)
Coworker: How do you not know what you’re driving?

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Thank God For Observant Strangers!

, , , , , | Friendly | December 30, 2020

I’ve been visiting my brother in another state, and we go to grab lunch a couple of hours before I fly back home. Suddenly, a woman walks over to our table.

Woman: “[My Name]?”

Me: “What?”

Woman: “Are you [My Name]?”

I’m trying to figure out if I know her from somewhere.

Me: “Yes…?”

Woman: “I found your wallet. Here.”

I didn’t even realize that it had slipped out of my pocket! I happened to be wearing the same outfit as when I had my driver’s license picture taken, so the woman recognized me right away. I thanked her profusely. If she hadn’t happened upon my wallet and found me, I probably wouldn’t have realized it was missing until I got to the airport.

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It Was Right Under Her Nose… Er… Ears

, , , , , | Right | November 30, 2020

I’m a child, waiting in line to go through customs, which is something I’ve done often by this point in time. There’s a young, fashionable lady in front of us at the front of the line. Her suitcase has gone through and she has taken off her shoes, and she’s put her wallet and phone in the bin, but something is still setting off the metal detector. The male TSA agent helping her is confused.

Agent: “Ma’am, I just don’t know why it keeps going off! You’re sure you don’t have anything in your pockets?”

Lady: “I don’t! Except this gum, but I don’t think it would set it off.”

Agent: “Neither do I, but put it in the bin and go through again.”

The machine beeps again as she walks through.

Agent: “All right. Listen. I still don’t know what is setting off this machine. We have to pat you down, but I have to get a female agent for that.”

Lady: *Patiently* “That’s all right. I’ll wait.”

The male TSA agent leaves to find a female agent and comes back a few minutes later.

Female Agent: “Are you the one who keeps setting off the machine?”

Lady: “Yeah, and we can’t figure out why!”

Female Agent: “Hon, were you wearing those earrings when you went through? They usually don’t set off the alarm, but if that’s it, we won’t have to pat you down.”

The lady takes off her earrings, gigantic hoops that lay over her shoulders. She puts them in the bin and walks through, no problem.

Me: *Taking my shoes off* “Don’t worry; I’m not wearing earrings!”

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Allergic To Common Sense, Part 17

, , , , , , | Right | October 27, 2020

I have the very unfortunate luck to have bad seasonal allergies during this world health crisis.

I need to run some errands that my grandma normally does, but it’s safer for me to go, instead. Today, my allergies are especially bad, even with my medication, but it’s my day off of work so I gotta tough it out.

I’m at the grocery store — with a mask on, of course — when a woman walks by me with a strong-smelling perfume. Certain scents bother me a lot, and lucky me, this is one of those. I start to have a sneezing attack. Yes, I’m sneezing into my elbow. When I finish, I notice that the same woman is glaring at me — without a mask, might I add.

Smelly Perfume Woman: *Sharply* “If you’re sick, stay home.”

Me: *Caught off guard* “I have allergies. I’m not sick.”

Smelly Perfume Woman: “And I’m the Queen of England. Leave.”

Me: “After I finish my shopping.” 

I briskly walk down a random aisle in order to get away before her perfume causes me to sneeze again. I think that’s the end of it. I finish my shopping and check out, no problem. While loading into my car, I end up sneezing again. Who’s walking by but [Smelly Perfume Woman]? Just my luck.

Smelly Perfume Woman: “Why the h*** are you still here?! You’ll infect us all.”

Me: “Says the person who’s not wearing a mask.”

Smelly Perfume Woman: “I have a medical condition!”

Me: *Under my breath* “Last time I checked, stupidity isn’t a medical condition.”

Smelly Perfume Woman: *Snapping* “You need to go home if you’re sick!”

She turns her nose up and struts off, leaving me with a raised eyebrow.

Me: “That really just happened.”

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 16
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 15
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 14
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 13
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 12

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Unfiltered Story #211609

, , , | Unfiltered | October 13, 2020

(A woman, who everyone at our gym believes to be sociopathic, has been asked to leave by the head coach. Weeks later, he receives a call from a repossession agency)

Repo agent: Hello [Coach], we were wondering if one of your employees was on the premises.
Coach: Well sure, which employee?
Repo agent: Uh..says here..[Woman who was asked to leave]
Coach: What? She’s not my employee.
Repo agent: Says here she listed you as a reference for employment.

(Turns out this crazy lady listed my coach as a reference, even though she never worked for him. My coach got several more calls later on from other employers asking for a reference.)

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