If The Shoe Fits

, , , , | Right | April 15, 2018

(I get this call at my office.)

Customer: “I love your company’s sandals, but I hurt myself while hiking!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that!”

Customer: “They really need to have more protection for the foot. My feet got all cut up on the rocks!”

Me: “Ah. Well, for hiking on rough terrain, sandals might not be your best bet. We have some hiking shoes and boots that might work better for you.”

Customer: “No, I prefer to wear sandals; they’re much more comfortable. I just wish they had something on top to protect my feet.”

Me: “Um, I really think a pair of shoes might be the way to go here.”

Customer: “No, you’re not listening. I want a pair of sandals with an upper to protect my feet!”

Me: “Uh… I’ll pass it along to the design team.”

A Combo Of Inattention

, , , , , | Right | March 15, 2018

(I’m in line to order behind three people: [Customer #1], [Customer #2], and [Customer #2]’s wife, [Customer #3]. [Customer #1] and [Customer #2] each step up, make their orders, and step back. They also both order the same combo. [Customer #1] ends up stepping away from the counter, causing [Customer #2] to pull ahead. The employee finishes the order and puts it on the line.)

Employee: “[Combo]!”

(As [Customer #1] steps up, [Customer #2] grabs the order.)

Employee: “No, sir. That’s his order.”

([Customer #2] ignores the employee and tries again to take the combo.)

Customer #1: “No, that one’s mine.”

Employee: “Please, sir, your order is coming.”

([Customer #3] steps in.)

Customer #3: “Honey, that’s the young man’s order. Ours is next.”

Customer #2: “He said [Combo]!”

(The wife grabs [Customer #2] by the arm and drags him back away from the counter.)

Customer #3: *to [Customer #1]* “Sorry about him. At times he’s not very bright. Enjoy your food.”

(When I get my order I still hear the couple arguing:)

Customer #3: “Our order is to go. That young man’s food was on a tray. How the hell were you going to carry it?”

Paying It Forward To Make The Line Go Forward

, , , , , | Right | February 28, 2018

(I am working the customer service desk. My manager has just arrived and is standing near me. I am currently helping a customer when another customer lines up behind and this happens.)

Customer #1: *in line, pointing to a small container of hummus* “Could you help me unwrap this?”

Manager: *opens package slightly for him* “[My Name] will help you check out.”

Me: *finishing with first customer* “Hello, sir. How are you today?”

Customer #1: “Fine.” *rips rest of package off before paying*

(Upon scanning the barcode of the package, I notice he has put some change beside it, but the item is slightly more expensive.)

Me: “Your total today is [price].”

(The customer throws down his unwrapped hummus container angrily.)

Customer #1: “NO. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE TWO FOR [PRICE]! THAT’S [SLIGHTLY CHEAPER PRICE] EACH!”

Me: “Unfortunately, you have to buy two items to get that price.”

Customer #1: “NO! IT’S BUY ONE FOR [SLIGHTLY CHEAPER PRICE] AND THAT’S ALWAYS HOW IT’S BEEN AT [THIS STORE] AND [COMPETITOR]!” *throws some random coins down, but it’s still not enough* “THERE! THAT’S ALL THE MONEY I HAVE!”

Me: *not sure what to do* “Uh, I… I’m sorry, sir.”

Manager: “I will go check the sign.”

(Another customer has just lined up behind the irate customer and has obviously heard him yelling.)

Customer #2: “Here.” *holding out enough money to pay for [Customer #1]*

Me: “Oh, are you sure? Thank you so much!”

Customer #1: *still yelling and flailing about*

Customer #2: “Hey, bud, it’s all right. I paid for it.” *hands him hummus*

Customer #1: “You’re a real gentleman, sir!” *gives me a dirty look and leaves*

(In [Customer #1]’s haste, he does not pick up his change, since [Customer #2] has more than paid his hummus. I deduct that from [Customer #2]’s order and thank him profusely. [Customer #2] is also buying a lottery ticket.)

Me: “Hopefully good karma is on your side and you’ll win big!”

(My manager came back and confirmed that not only was there not a current deal for buying two items, but the correct price was also clearly advertised.)

Not Quite A Glass Act

, , , , , | Right | February 8, 2018

(At the store where I work, when we bag bottles of nail polish, we put them in smaller bags, separate from other items. A customer has purchased some items, and forgoes the bag for her items.)

Me: “Here, please at least let me put the nail polish in a separate bag.”

Customer: “Oh, no, thank you.”

Me: “Are you sure? They are glass.”

Customer: “Don’t worry; I’ve handled a lot of glass items in this bag before.”

(The customer drops the nail polish, and it smashes on the floor. We just stare at it for a second, and then look at each other.)

Customer: “Well… that was good timing.”

When You Found Out That This Job Blows

, , , , , , | Working | February 1, 2018

(I am at my part-time job during high school. The owners are pretty conservative and religious people.)

Boss: “[My Name], do you have a strong wind?”

Me: “…?”

Boss: “Do you have a strong wind?

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand.”

Boss: *sigh* “Can you blow hard?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but [Coworker] plays the tuba in band. She can blow harder.”

(To this day, I can’t remember what he needed us to do that prompted him to ask that question!)

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