Regularly Demanding

, , , , | Right | August 25, 2017

I work at a small independent coffee shop as a barista. We have a number of regular customers whom I recognize. One night, I get a phone call saying there’s been a flood at the shop and when I go to check the damage, I realize we won’t be able to open in the morning, it’s so bad. I put up several signs on the windows, and one huge one on the doors that says “We are CLOSED today due to flood damage. Will be re-opening soon. Thanks for your patience.”

In the morning, I’m there with a few coworkers, salvaging what we can and cleaning what we can, when we hear loud banging noises at the front door. We ignore it and keep working, but it happens two or three more times, to the point of irritation. I finally go to the door and open it up to find one of our most regular customers standing there. I ask her why she’s there and she says “well, for my morning coffee, of course” as she’s trying to move past me into the building. I keep her from entering and tell her that as per the signs, we are closed.

Without even blinking an eye, she looks straight at me and says, “well, maybe for strangers, but not for your regular customers!”

I made her a coffee.

Should Have Come Up With A Less Special Name

, , , , , | Related | August 23, 2017

When I was six, my family went on vacation to Mexico. While there, my dad purchased a rather large, fancy bottle of rum. My parents decided that, as I didn’t know what alcohol was at that point, they would tell me it was “Special Syrup.”

The morning after we returned I got up really early, as I was super excited for something I had been for half the trip. When my mom woke up, I ran up to her, with the excitement in my eyes, and said, “Mommy, I want pancakes for breakfast, with the SPECIAL syrup!”

My mom realized her mistake when she had to tell a sobbing me that I wasn’t allowed to have the special syrup.

Terminate This Purchase

, , , | Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | December 23, 2013

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

(I realize the customer is buying three things. A pack of water pistols, lighter fluid, and matches.)

Me: “Um… This is an interesting purchase.”

Customer: “Yeah, there’s a wasp infestation in my garage. Figured this is easier than an exterminator.”

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