Unfiltered Story #207081

, , , | Unfiltered | September 1, 2020

I work in the electronics department of a major big-box retailer. We’ve had a string of successful and attempted thefts recently, frequently involving backpacks and other bags, leading management to push us to be more vigilant. While making my rounds of the department, I see a woman placing a small package in her purse. For emphasis, this is in a department full of small packages with high values. Even though I can’t see what the package is, the color of it is quite similar to one of the store’s in-house brands.
Me: “Excuse me ma’am, what was that you just put in your purse?”
Woman: “It was just my cigarettes.”
At this point, considering I have no real evidence, I’m prepared to back off.
Me: “I’m sorry, it just looked like something else from where I was standing.”
Woman: “Do you want to look in my purse?”
At this point, I’m under the impression that she’s making the offer in an attempt to clear up the misunderstanding, so I lean forward to see inside the purse that she has opened and held out in front of her. I can clearly see a pack of cigarettes on top of the items in her purse. At this point, I apologize for the misunderstanding again as I straighten up, ready to forget that anything had ever happened. Clearly, I was the only one thinking along those lines…
Woman: “I want to speak to your manager right away.”
Me: “Sure, not a problem.”
I then walk away to put out a page for any available member of management to come to the department, first over our walkie-talkies, and then multiple times over our intercom. During the ten to fifteen minutes it took for a member of our over-extended management team to show up, I continue helping other customers in the department while she stands glaring at me and talking on her cell phone to who I assume from the bits of conversation I overhear to be her husband. As the minutes pass, I can hear her making increasingly blatant exaggerations, including that I accused her of stealing and demanded to search her purse. When a manager finally arrives, she makes a bee-line for him while I am busy ringing through another customer. I hang back and listen quietly while she tells him the same inflated story she had given during her phone call. My manager then asks me to come with him and leads me down to the end of an aisle so he can hear my side of the story. I’m in the middle of telling him when the woman comes around the corner from the next aisle over and launches into a rant about how she’s never been so offended in her life, that I (again) accused her of theft and demanded to search her purse, and informing us that she would be contacting a lawyer while demanding that my manager give her my personal contact information. Any attempt to interject or defuse her by either of us is immediately shouted down until my manager decides that he and the woman would need to continue the conversation on their own at the front of the building. The woman takes this moment to exclaim that her husband (who, may I remind you, was not present for any of the events leading up to this) will be joining them, and that was the last I saw of her. My manager eventually came back to get my side of the story in a more sedate environment, and that was the last I’ve heard of it. But I’m also writing this on the same day it happened, so who knows if that’s the last I’ve seen of her particular brand of crazy?

The Oregon Fail, Part 4

, , , , | Related | August 7, 2020

Mom: “I couldn’t find any regular milk so I got Oregon; is that okay?”

I give her a blank look.

Mom: “It’s still 1% but Oregon; is that okay?”

Me: “Oregon?”

Mom: “You know, when they feed the cows grass.”

Me: “Oh, organic! Yes, it’s fine.”

Related:
The Oregon Fail, Part 3
The Oregon Fail, Part 2
The Oregon Fail

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Unfiltered Story #197583

, , , | Unfiltered | June 24, 2020

*I work at a Mediterranean/Egyptian Restaurant and my position is a Server, I get these two customers that come in, so I seat them.*

Me: What can I get for you today?
Female Customer: Is beef chicken??
Me: Ummm…No ma’am.
Female Customer: Oh okay! Thank you!
*Feeling sort of weirded out, I walk to the kitchen and tell the Chef*
Me: Ummm…I had this female customer who came in and asked me if beef was chicken.
Chef: *He had a big grin on his face and then laughs* Yeah, then maybe we should give her pork chicken then!!

*Never in my life, I have felt so shocked, I hope she was joking but, she seemed pretty serious about her question!*

An Absolut Bigot

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2020

I work in a theatre, and sometimes I work at the bar instead of ushering. I’ve just made a Caesar for a patron. A Caesar has clamato juice and a shot of vodka, and it is rimmed with celery salt. A minute later, he storms back, drink in hand. Also, keep in mind that I’m Asian.

Patron: “You put water in my Caesar!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patron: “There’s no vodka in this! I don’t taste any alcohol! You must have put in water instead of vodka! I want another one!”

Me: *Pause* “Um, all right, that’ll be another $8, sir.”

Patron: “No! On the house! You screwed up my Caesar with water! I demand a free replacement!”

Me: “Sir, you saw me make the drink. It’s Absolut vodka.”

I show him the bottle.

Me: “I’m certain it’s not water in there.”

Patron: “Then you must refill your bottles with water! I didn’t taste the alcohol! Are you really that cheap of an Asian that you would refill vodka bottles with water to not buy vodka?! Make me another one!”

At this point, the one-minute call has been made.

Me: “Sir, you only have a minute left to get to your seat. I’m sorry you weren’t satisfied with your drink. Would you like to preorder for intermission, instead?”

Patron: “No! You cheap b*****ds will just rip me off again! Especially since you’re Asian!”

He stormed off.

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Moan-y And Lace-y

, , , , , | Right | June 6, 2020

With “Back To School” season, my shoe store gets a LOT of stressed moms, but this lady is great. She enters with her two daughters, and my coworker offers to measure their feet and help her.

After finding a few shoes, they’re trying on a pair of skate shoes with two sets of laces, so you can wear both or one pair. The woman asks for my coworker’s help, and she tightens and ties the laces. Then, the woman starts arguing with her kids, halfway down an aisle, so my friend walks away after standing around for a few minutes awkwardly.

Customer: “Excuse me! Excuse me! I’d like some help!”

Me: “Yes, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, there was another girl who was helping me but she just left.”

Me: “She probably thought you were done talking with her and were talking with your daughters.”

Customer: “Well, obviously not!”

Me: “All right, well, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “The laces!”

Me: “Yes…? There are two pairs, so you can see how they look with the shoes. You can wear one or both.”

Customer: “Well, obviously!”

Me: “What would you like me to do?”

Customer: “Help me! The laces!”

Me: “Do you want them tightened? Or removed? I can take the other ones out—”

Customer: “I thought this was a customer service store, but obviously not!”

Me: “If you tell me what you want, I can help you.”

Customer: “The laces! Obviously, I have to do everything myself here! Self-service, apparently!”

I walked away when she started violently tying/fixing/messing with the laces. She called back to complain to my manager that we were “giving attitude” and the like.

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