A Sure Way To Cheese Them Off

, , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(Our grocery store recently added coupons to other stores on the back of our receipts. It helps offset the price of till paper, because other companies are paying us for the advertisement space. Apparently this is a brand-new concept to some. A customer places five blocks of cheese on the counter.)

Me: “All righty, sir, that will be $23.54.”

Customer: “I have a coupon.”

(I start looking for anything indicating a discount, which some of our receipts will print, if you buy gas from our adjacent gas bar. He reaches over and tugs the receipt out of my hand, and turns it backwards.)

Me: *immediately aware of where this is going* “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t see anything—”

Customer: “Right there! $20 off in-store purchase!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, this is for [Family-Owned Music Store], not our store.”

Customer: *tugs the receipts over again* “It’s says, ‘[Our Store],’ on the front! Right there!”

(I kept trying to explain the advertisements on the back to him, and he kept getting angrier, until I finally snapped, “It’s not our store!” He then grabbed his cheese and marched off in a huff, and I was forced follow him because I needed to rescan the cheese to get it off my till.)

Unfiltered Story #124861

, , , | Unfiltered | November 9, 2018

(I work in a small town hardware store, which is usually relatively quiet, so I get the chance to interact with my customers more than most cashiers. It should be noted that although I don’t “look” the part, I am a huge comic book fan. This customer had been in a few hours prior buying the same sort of item, a drill bit, so I decided to bug him about it.)

Me: You again! The first bit wasn’t good enough for you, or what?

Customer: No! Well, yes. It was a perfectly good bit, but it broke. This has been the toughest job. Apparently we’re drilling through concrete… or diamonds… or..

Me: (laughing) something like Adamantium?

Customer: YES! Wait.. What? you?! But! I was going to say that, but I didn’t think you’d… (he fist pumps into the air) THERE IS HOPE FOR US!

(At this point we’re both laughing heartily, and I unzip my work sweater to show my t-shirt, which has MARVEL written across it)

Customer: And she’s a marvel girl! Good lord, if I didn’t need to finish this job, I would propose on the spot.

Me: Well I’m done work at six, if you feel like coming back.

(He leaves, and I forget all about it, until around 5:50 when my boss approaches me with a box saying a customer had dropped it off for me. In the box was a kids spider-man ring and a little note that said “sorry I couldn’t   stick around, life of a superhero- you know. Please take this peace offering and my phone number, and give me a call sometime!
I did, and we’ve been dating ever since.)

Sorry, There’s No A**hole Discount

, , , , | Right | October 27, 2018

(I am working at a hardware store as a cashier when a customer approaches and asks for my help with a price match. He makes the process as infuriatingly slow and awkward as possible, all the while demanding discounts he doesn’t qualify for from our policies. He leaves for a brief moment, and I check in with a few managers and manage to get him a discount, despite him not actually being allowed to use our price-match policy due to a problem with our competitor’s site at the time.)

Customer: “I demand the extra 10% off; it’s in your policy!”

Me: “Actually, sir, it isn’t.”

(I pull out the policy and read it in its entirety to the customer.)

Me: “So, you see, you can’t get the extra 10%, because the item doesn’t qualify.”

Customer: “That doesn’t apply to me, because I don’t speak English!”

(I froze when he said that, and eventually he left, claiming he would take a picture of our competitor’s sign and get an extra 20% off for it the next time.)

No Container Big Enough For This Much Stupid

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2018

(There is this store where if you return five containers that are empty, you can get a free face mask. I’m a customer, watching this happen.)

Customer: *buying a bunch of stuff* “I also finished five containers.”

Employee: “Oh, do you have them with you?”

Customer: “No, I threw them out.”

Employee: *pause* “I’m sorry, but we have to have the five containers, or we can’t give you the mask.”

Customer: “But I emptied them out! I want my free face mask! Won’t you just throw them away if I gave them to you?”

Employee: “Actually, we recycle them into the signs.”

Customer: *looks around, pays for stuff, and leaves in a huff* “Fine, but the next time I come back with the empty pots, I want two free face masks!”

A Potentially Explosive Incident

, , , , , , | Legal | September 16, 2018

(My husband and I are keen novice birdwatchers. It is spring, and one Sunday we are driving from pond to pond in a quiet rural area, looking at ducks from the roadside. We finish up for the day and start to head home. After a few minutes of driving, we come to a bunch of odd-looking trash scattered across the gravel road. We quickly stop, but not before driving over some of the debris and a certain distance beyond. It seems to be a good number of white, sausage-like objects. Curious, we use our binoculars to get a better look. A cardboard box in the ditch has a brand name and slogan on it that make us think this just might be a bunch of explosives! Since we have been counting ducks all day — and this is far more interesting than ducks — we carefully count how many sausages we see, and make a note of the number along with our bird-watching notes. Since we have no cell phone, we go to a nearby farmhouse and explain the situation. The farmer agrees to call the RCMP and tell them about this, and we head for home. The next morning, my husband phones the RCMP, as he has a question about the incident.)

Husband: “Hi, I’m the guy that found those explosives yesterday.”

RCMP: “What explosives?”

Husband: “The ones by the road in [Rural Area]?”

(After some initial skepticism and confusion, the RCMP finds the likely source of the explosives, a local supplier that sells that brand. There was only one weekend shipment, but we were nowhere near where it was supposed to go. The explosives are recovered from the roadside… but only half the amount that we noted seeing. The missing explosives are found on the property of the farmer we spoke to, and on the property of one of his friends. After a long day spent talking on the phone with the RCMP, my husband finally decides to call the explosives company with his question:)

Husband: “So, about those explosives. I’m just wondering, because I think I might have driven over some of them… Modern explosives are pretty safe, right?”

Explosives Manager: “Well, yeah, they’re pretty safe, but I wouldn’t want to drive over them!”

(The crew driving the explosives truck was fired that morning, and the explosives company was later hit with a hefty fine.)

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