Went Down The Store Like A Wave

| MA, USA | Friendly | March 21, 2016

(I’m a teenager and I recently got my very first job bagging groceries. It’s my third day working and my feet are killing me, but I’m still smiling and doing the best I can. A woman and her little boy — maybe three years old — are finishing up in the next lane. They pay and the woman begins to push her cart away, but the little boy starts talking.)

Boy: “Bye! Bye!”

Me: *waving* “Bye!”

Boy: “Bye!”

(He continued the whole way down the line, waving and saying bye to all the workers with a huge smile on his face. It made my day.)

Macamoron

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | March 19, 2016

(I’m giving away samples of macarons, a French cookie. Many customers have been calling them “macaroons,” so I have a coworker bring me a box of those so I could show the products side by side and politely explain the differences. A lady approaches my counter.)

Lady: “Oh, macaroons!”

Me: “Actually, these are macarons, a Fr-”

Lady: *suddenly irate and smug* “WELL, IN AMERICA, IT’S PRONOUNCED ‘MACAROONS.’”

Me: *smiles politely and holds up both boxes* “Actually, these are macarons, and they’re completely different from macaroons. We happen to sell both right here.”

Lady: *looks extremely pissed and walks off without trying the product while I beam for a solid ten minutes*

Doesn’t Even Have To Massage The Truth

| Santa Rosa, CA, USA | Right | March 18, 2016

(I am working on register at a popular grocery store. I usually make jokes and puns with the customers, partly because it’s fun for the customers, but mostly because it’s fun for me.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “It’s a good day; I just got off work.”

Me: *jokingly* “Oh, just rub it in, why don’t you?”

Customer: “I do; I’m a masseuse.”

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Unfair Welfare

, | PA, USA | Right | March 18, 2016

Me: “…and your total is $[total].”

Customer: *holds up her SNAP (food stamps) card* “I’m paying with this. Can I get cash back on it?”

Me: “We only do cash back on Discover cards. Sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why?! Everyone just wants to take, take, take my money! Take, take, take! No one is ever willing to give anything!”

(I was so stunned I couldn’t even manage to make a comment on the irony of her comment while holding a SNAP card.)

SOUNDS Like College Is Working

| Glendale, CA, USA | Working | March 16, 2016

(All of the department managers meet once a week. The assistant store manager has called for the meeting at the same time I am going on a break. The ASM always acts like he’s better than me because of his higher position, and gives me a hard time about my scheduling as I am a full-time college student in my senior year. I grab lunch, with my receipt on it (for loss prevention purposes, so they know I paid for the product), out of the fridge. I put the receipt on the table, next to which is the new store ad for the following sales week (that starts the next day). I start eating when the ASM grabs my receipt and then points to the same product in the ad.)

Assistant Store Manager: “Oh, hey, you should have waited until tomorrow to buy those. They’re on sale, three for $5!”

Me: “Oh, I got these on sale already; they were buy one, get one free and they’re only $2.99 each.” *points at receipt*

Assistant Store Manager: “Tomorrow’s a better deal. You should have waited. Three for $5 is cheaper! It’s only like $1.67 each!”

Me: “Yeah, but like I said, I got a better deal, so I’m good.”

Assistant Store Manager: “No, $1.67 is cheaper than $2.99.”

Me: “Yeah, but I got two for that price.”

Assistant Store Manager: “$1.67 sounds like it’s the better deal.”

Me: “Two for $2.99 is about $1.50 each. I got two for less than $3, and two at that price is $3.34. So $3 is actually cheaper…”

Assistant Store Manager: “Oh, yeah, well… I said it SOUNDS better.”

Me: “Annnnnd that’s why I go to college.”

(All the managers that were showing up for the meeting all ‘oooh’ed and laughed at the ASM, who went to his office to hide on the phone before the meeting started. He hasn’t bothered me about my days off for school since.)

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