Working Here Is A Brain Drain

| Bellevue, WA, USA | Right | August 30, 2016

(I am sweeping the store when I see one of our regulars standing on a grocery basket to reach a soda bottle on the top shelf.)

Me: “Can I help you get that down?”

Customer: “It’s okay; I’m lightweight.”

Me: “So is the basket’s construction.”

Customer: “Well, if it breaks I’ll buy it.”

(He gets down.)

Me: “I’m more worried you’ll fall and crack your head open… because guess who gets to clean THAT up?”

Customer: *laughs* “Brain cleanup in aisle eleven!”

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 4

| OR, USA | Working | August 29, 2016

(I am in my mid-twenties and am enjoying playing a new game that requires walking around to play.)

Cashier: “Hi! How are you today?”

Me: “Good! Far more distracted by Pokémon than I should be at my age.”

Bagger: “You know, I read that there’s a way you can get all of them, without taking a step.”

Me: “Why? That kinda defeats the purpose…”

Bagger: “Laziness!”

Me: “Ah…”

Bagger: “But I don’t play, anyway. I think it’s stupid!”

Cashier: *quickly interrupting* “You know, my son has all the original cards.”

(She and I chat determinedly about Pokémon and the walks I’ve gone on while playing, with the bagger constantly and loudly trying to interrupt. I finish the transaction and start to walk away with my groceries.)

Bagger: “I’M A VERY FIT PERSON, YOU KNOW.”

Me: “Okay…”

Related:
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 3
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 2
Here We Pokémon Go Again

A Reaction Not To Be Sneezed At

| Roseville, CA, USA | Right | August 24, 2016

(I’ve been working at this store for ten years. I’m just getting over a cold, but I still have a small case of the sniffles. I’m ringing an older male customer up and I feel a sneeze coming on. Because I am still a little sick, I step back and sneeze, with my nose plugged, not once, not twice, but THREE times. After I sneeze the third time, I hear a loud slam, and see the older man with an angry look on his face. His hand is flat and it is clear he has slammed the little table next to the card reader.)

Customer: “IF YOU SNEEZE IN MY PRESENCE AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL REPORT YOU TO YOUR MANAGER AND HAVE YOU FIRED!”

(As I wipe the brain lubricant away from my nose and sanitize my hands with a ton of hand sanitizer, I see three other customers, two moms with shocked looks and a teenage male who can’t stop laughing. I finish the customer’s order with enough anxiety to the point where I am about to faint. He snatches the bag of groceries away and immediately reports me. My manager comes up to me, gives me a five, and says:)

Manager: “You’re not in trouble. Take 15. Coffee’s on me.”

What An Old Bag

| IL, USA | Right | August 24, 2016

(I’m working the front desk of a grocery store. The employee that is assigned to collect the shopping carts from the parking lot brings in a purse he found left behind. Most women are happy and relieved their purse is returned. The woman who owns this purse comes in a few minutes later.)

Woman: *in a rush and in a near panic* “Did someone turn in a purse? I just pulled out of the parking lot and realized it was missing and it wasn’t where I left my cart.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, a purse was turned in. Can you describe it to me?”

(She describes the purse exactly and I go in the back, get it and give it to her.)

Woman: *relieved* “Oh, thank you so much. Did someone turn it in?”

Me: “Yes, one of the guys just turned it in a couple of minutes ago.”

Woman: “Which one?”

Me: “[Employee]. He’s bringing in a load of carts now.”

(The woman walks over to him and goes into psycho mode in an instant.)

Woman: “Did you turn in my purse?”

Employee: “Yes, I found it.”

Woman: *raising her voice* “Did you steal anything from it?”

Employee: “No! I just turned it in.”

Woman: *waving her finger in his face* “If you even peeked in here I’ll have you up on charges!”

Employee: “No! I didn’t…”

(The manager overhears this.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I was outside when I saw him find your purse. He brought it inside and immediately turned it in.”

Woman: “So you are all in on this? You all had plenty of time to go through here and steal something. If there is so much as a nickel missing from here, the next time I come in here it will be with the police!” *storms out*

Manager: “Have a nice day?”

Sale Fail

| USA | Right | August 23, 2016

(I’m a cashier at a grocery store. An angry woman rolls up with a bunch of items in her cart.)

Woman: “Thanks a lot!”

Me: “Is there a problem, miss?”

Woman: “You had so many items on sale I felt compelled to buy them! Thanks for wasting my money!”

Page 51/279First...4950515253...Last
« Previous
Next »