(I work at a theater, and this shift I am in the box office selling tickets. A customer approaches me who has just gotten out of a movie.)
Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”
Customer: “I would like to lodge a complaint with your manager.”
Me: “She isn’t actually working today, sorry, but if you tell me what you need to complain about, I can make sure it gets passed onto her right away.”
Customer: “I just watched The A-Team and it wasn’t at all how I thought it would be. The green people were very blurry!”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there aren’t any green people in the movie The A-Team. Are you sure you went into the right auditorium?”
Customer: “What are you talking about? There is only one auditorium in this place!”
Me: “Actually, sir, we have five auditoriums, and there are different movies playing in each of them.”
Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that?! And why was the movie blurry?!”
Me: “Well, sir, the only movie we have that has green people in it is Shrek, and that movie is in 3D, so if you are not wearing the 3D glasses it would be very blurry.”
Customer: “Well, why didn’t you give me those glasses?”
Me: “You didn’t buy a ticket for that movie.”
Customer: “If there is only one auditorium, when does my movie play?”
Me: “Sir, your movie is over. You went into the wrong auditorium.”
Customer: “Well, that’s all your fault!”
Me: “I’m very sorry, but how is this my fault?”
Customer: “You didn’t tell me that there is more than one auditorium!”
Me: “When I sold you your ticket, I told you were in auditorium three.”
Customer: “Oh, I just thought you were stupid. So, can I have a refund?”
Another Customer In Line: “Get out of line, dumba**!”
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