23 Stories About 3D Movies And The Customers Too Dumb To Figure Them Out

Dear readers,

Remember the 3D movie craze? When every movie would boast about its third dimension and movie theaters would charge you extra for the privilege? As strange as it was, it was relatively simple; you put on the glasses, and the characters on the screen would occasionally throw things at you. This straightforward premise seems to have escaped some of the customers on this list.

We’ve rounded up 23 stories about some dimensionally-dim customers who couldn’t handle life in 3D… or in general.

A New Dimension of Stupidity – Listen to your girlfriend, buddy.

Missing Out On The Spectacle – Of course you’re not supposed to wear them; you’re supposed to eat them.

Get A Life – The wonderful world of windows.

Hell In A Recycle Basket – At least they’re teaching him responsibility?

We Call This Pixel Pandora – Maybe they could find a copy of the script or something…

Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur – Sometimes it’s easier to live in the past.

A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 6 – It’ll pop out at you eventually.

Not Suitable For Those Who Can’t Count – Shrek is life; you can count on that.

Would Like To Explain, But They Haven’t Got Time – Technology is obsolete by the time you get it out of the box.

Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur, Part 2 – Welcome to the Crazy Requests tag, land of entitlement.

A Heady Proposition, Part 2 – A head-turning stupid request.

Life In The Space-Slime Continuum – Welcome to the splash zone!

Eyesight Only As Good As Hindsight, Part 2 – Maybe you need to look into another kind of glasses.

A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2 – You mean you want everything to be slightly headache-inducing? Oh, wait…

Too Hot To Give A Hoot – They’ll endure a lot of steam for a little cool air.

A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 3 – Their hearing isn’t in three-dimensional, either.

Worshiping A Vengeful God – Even the clergy are shocked by today’s theater prices.

Has No Idea Who – Sometimes the fates (and a wrong number) lead you to your fellow nerds.

A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 4 – “Just because this showing is in 3D, it doesn’t mean I should have to watch it in 3D.” Yes, really.

They Don’t Charge Extra For Time – Do they make uncomfortable glasses for that, too?

Dictating The Movie Ratings – They paid extra for the right to behave badly!

Gatsby Is Less Great In 2D – What Baz Luhrmann wants, Baz Luhrmann gets!

A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 5 – Let’s go back to the basics. Way, way back.

We hope you enjoyed this 3D Movie-themed roundup! Let us know in the comments if there were any stories we were too lazy to include! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Check out more roundups here to see if you’ve missed any!