(It’s December 26th and it’s raining pretty hard. I am waiting for the bus without an umbrella, on my way back from shopping for cookie-baking material. A man is waiting beside me, also without an umbrella. A car stops in front of us, a lady at the wheel.)

Driver: “Hop in! I’ll drive you as close to your destination as possible!”

(The man and I briefly hesitate, but it’s Christmas and we’re soaked. The driver makes pleasant chat before dropping him, then me, at our chosen destinations.)

Driver: “Just pay it forward when you can!”

(The next day, I’m waiting in line at a thrift store with my purchases. An older lady in front of me is exchanging items, but she’s missing $10 to complete the transaction.)

Me: *handing a $10 note towards the cashier* “Excuse me?”

Cashier: *thinking I’m impatient to pay for my own purchases* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait until I’m done with the lady.”

Me: “Oh, no, I mean to pay for the difference for her.”

Lady: *stunned* “What? Are you sure?”

Me: “It’s frozen all over outside now, so it’ll be safer for you not to make the trip back here. I received a very helpful kindness just yesterday, so this is me paying it forward.”

(She thanked me profusely and agreed that she would pay it forward herself. I do wonder what she did to continue the chain!)

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(Adult colouring books are a huge deal at my store, with two drive-aisles dedicated to the stuff. I am working the floor when a young man in his mid-twenties comes in with a girl who could be his girlfriend, sister, or friend. He kind of has a frat-boy look about him, and the girl is dressed semi-professionally. They come up to me, the girl with an amused expression and the guy really excited.)

Male Customer: “So, you guys sell adult coloring books, right?”

Me: “Yeah, we do, right over here.”

Male Customer: *just slightly lowers his voice, kind of stage-whisper style* “So, you have, like, those [East] Indian type colouring books?”

Female Customer: *starts blushing a bit*

Me: “Oh, yeah, we have Mandala and Paisley-themed colouring books. Some kind of look like henna designs, as well.”

Male Customer: “No, I mean, like, the sex book. The Kama Sutra, except for colouring in.”

Female Customer: *starts laughing a bit because she knows how ridiculous that sounds*

Me: “Uh, no, sir, we don’t. We have kids’ crafts in here so we don’t have anything more explicit like that. Maybe try [Bookstore that also sells colouring books as well as having a more “adult” section]?”

Male Customer: “Oh, yeah, sure. No problem. I get it!”

Female Customer: *keeps laughing*

(A bit later, I am on backup for cashiering, as it is busy. The couple comes up, and the male customer has five books and a giant set of pencil crayons.)

Me: “Yeah, these adult colouring books are quite popular.”

Male Customer: “Yeah, I love them! It’s great for when I’m smoking pot but also wanting to do something with my hands, you know?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, I bet! They’re super relaxing!”

Female Customer: *laughing but is also getting a bit embarrassed*

(Everything went smoothly and the couple left, the guy super stoked for his colouring books, the girl half hiding her face. The lady behind them came up, and we both looked at each other in amusement. We’re in British Columbia, so pot is definitely a thing here, but never so public as that!)

This story is part of our Crayon Roundup!

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(I am camping with several members of my extended family and their children. I’m talking with some of the cousins near the fire pit during a marshmallow roast.)

Cousin: “I’ve cracked the code. Any time a sentence begins with, “Look, Mom,” or, “I’m a genius,” that’s my cue to intervene.”

(At that moment, one of her sons runs towards the fire pit with a plastic bottle full of marshmallows taped to a tree branch.)

Cousin’s Son: “Look, Mom! I’m a genius!”

Cousin: *to us* “I’ll be right back.”

This story is part of our S’Mores Day roundup!

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(We receive a work order that reads “URGENT: fixture burning.” I call to see if anyone is home but nobody answers. We’re in the area for another call so we decide to stop by. We knock, and the homeowner answers.)

Coworker: “Hi, we’re with [Company]. You said you were having an emergency with one of your lights burning?”

Homeowner: “Yeah, the bulb keeps burning out and it gets really hot. We’ve changed the bulb at least four times. I’m really worried because the baby sleeps in that room.”

Coworker: “Okay, we can get that looked at right now for you, if you like.”

Homeowner: “Well, now isn’t really a good time. The baby is taking a nap so I don’t want any work done. But you can come see what I mean if you want.”

(We go inside to see what’s going on. The baby isn’t actually asleep, but jumping up and down in his crib. We look everything over.)

Coworker: *after checking it out, the wiring is all okay* “We can change out the fixture. It would only take about ten minutes.”

Homeowner: “Well, I’d rather have it done another time. I hope that’s okay.”

Coworker: “No problem, we can schedule something for a different day.”

(We end up setting an appointment for the following week. So much for being “urgent.”)

(I am delivering pizza. I am going up to a house at about 11 pm and ring the doorbell. Immediately, I hear a blood-curdling scream of absolute terror. A face looks out the window next to the door.)

Customer: *behind the door* “Oh, thank god!”

(Upon opening the door, it turned out the couple were watching a horror movie, and I had rung the doorbell at the exact wrong moment.)

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