Backwards Driving, Loopy Logic

, , , , , | Right | February 3, 2011

(I work in a store with a donut-shaped, one-way parking lot.)

Customer: “Your parking lot is way too dangerous! I was trying to go for a spot and someone came the other way. There was no space to get around each other! What if we crashed?”

Me: “Which way did you go when you entered the lot? Straight or to the right?”

Customer: “I went straight, towards the doors! What does that matter?”

Me: “Well, everyone is supposed to go one way in the parking lot to avoid that kind of situation.”

Customer: “Then that idiot was going the wrong way! Someone should be out there monitoring the lot!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, you’re supposed to turn right when you enter the parking lot. Everyone moves in a counter-clockwise direction.”

Customer: “And I’m supposed to just know that? The road should be marked!”

Me: “It is, ma’am.”

Customer: “It certainly is not!”

(I lead the customer to a window overlooking the lot and the customer sees enormous white arrows painted the entire way through, showing which way to go.)

Customer: “What, you expect me to be looking at the road when I drive!?”

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It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 6

, , , , | Right | January 31, 2011

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to pay my bill to [Company] for $[amount].”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. Would you like your confirmation code?”

Caller: “Sure.”

Me: “Okay, it’s H–”

Caller: “How do you spell that?”

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Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily

, , , , , | Right | January 26, 2011

(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer: *to wife* “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer: *to wife* “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer: *to wife* “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be all right when you go back?”

Customer: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

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Identity TV Determined

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2011

Customer: “Are you on the show [TV show]?”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “You know the show [TV show]? Are you on it? Cause you really look like a character on it.”

Me: “No, I am sorry I am not.”

Customer: “Are you lying to me? I am pretty sure you are that girl from [TV show]!”

Me: “No, I work at [Coffee shop], not on a television show.”

(This went on until my manager had to step in.)

Manager: *sarcastically* “Yes she is on [TV show], she just likes to fly hundreds of kilometers back to Wasaga to work at [Coffee Shop] because she needs extra money.”

Customer: “I knew it!”

(Later on, she brought her boyfriend back and tried to convince me to give her an autograph.)

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Gambling With His Life

, , , , | Right | January 17, 2011

(It’s been snowing for the last few days, and the roads are making travel difficult.)

Customer: “Boy! Those roads are horrible!”

Me: “Yes, sir, so I’ve heard.”

Customer: “I don’t know why anyone would be out in this if they didn’t have to be!”

Me: “I agree. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Oh, I need some cigarettes and lottery tickets.”

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