Toy Story: The College Years

, , , | Right | October 5, 2017

(I work in the electronics department of a children’s toy store chain. My coworker in customer service is busy, so I decide to answer a phone for her.)

Me: “[Store] electronics, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys had any adult electronics in stock.”

Me: *oblivious* “Well, the latest Grand Theft Auto came out on the newer systems this week, and so did Dragon Age.”

Customer: “No, I’m looking for adult electronics.”

Me: *suddenly cluing in on what she means* “Oh… oh, I’m sorry, [Store] doesn’t carry any toys of that nature. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, what other new stuff do you have in?”

Me: “Uh… I guess Bionicles are new?”

(She then asked me questions like “How do you get wood in Minecraft” and stuff like that. I’m pretty sure that question was a euphemism.)

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I Have A Hel-sinking Feeling About This

, , , , , | Working | October 4, 2017

I’m going to Finland to spend a year, and am a bit nervous about travelling by plane as I have had bad experiences with airports in the last few years. My flights are supposed to be Montreal to Frankfurt to Helsinki, booked with [Carrier #1]. Upon arriving at the airport, I am informed that the second flight is cancelled, as [Carrier #2] operating that leg is on strike.

I queue for customer service with [Carrier #1] with everyone else to get rerouted. For some reason, the man who redirects me chooses a flight from Montreal to Toronto, then to London, then to Helsinki, while he just told his colleague that there are still seats available on a more direct flight through London. As I’m already tired, I don’t argue. The last flight is operated by [Carrier #3]. I make sure that the $50 fee for the second suitcase I’m checking in is paid for.

It’s the middle of February, in Canada, so the plane leaves two hours late to have the wings de-iced, making me miss the connection in Toronto towards London. Customer service there, still [Carrier #1], puts me on a flight the next day, past 6:00 pm, rearranges the flight after, and gives me vouchers for a hotel room and meals. I go to the baggage claim, where the man tells me not to worry about my luggage, which they will keep, and gives me a free bag of toiletries to use at the hotel.

The next day, I return to the baggage claim, where I’m given a paper and assured that it’ll allow my luggage to be forwarded along my new flights. The check-in clerk is dubious, but ends up confirming it. The plane is again late to de-ice the wings, and there is a minor medical emergency a few seats ahead of mine, which has all the lights on for the whole overnight flight.

I end up missing the flight leaving from London, but there is another a bit later in the day with [Carrier #3], so there is no worry. I go through security, then go to [Carrier #3] customer service to arrange the next flight.

The man there is a bit confused, and tells me after a few verifications that [Carrier #3] does not have an agreement with [Carrier #1] to emit tickets for their flights, which somehow neither the customer service in Montreal nor in Toronto caught. Having not slept much, I’m appalled, and am redirected to [Carrier #1].

They arrange for me to get on a flight with [Carrier #4] with whom they do have an agreement, and I go to check in. The gruff man there processes things without a word, until he asks me for a 50£ fee for my second suitcase. I argue that I already paid for that back in Montreal, but he says that they don’t have the money. Angry and exhausted, I pay.

While waiting for my flight, I locate an Internet terminal and go on to check my emails. There, time-stamped approximately at the moment I was midway over the Atlantic, sits an email from my dad, informing me that he just got a call from the Toronto airport, asking what they should be doing with my luggage. In his hesitant, second-language English, he managed to make them understand that they should be forwarding it to Helsinki, and not return them to Montreal.

I am lucky to only arrive a day late at my destination. The £50 charge never appears on my credit card statement, and the luggage makes it all the way to my destination, intact, two days later. And all the other flights since have been smooth, thankfully!

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Ironically, The Teacher Has So Many “Fs” To Give

, , , | Learning | October 4, 2017

(I am a teacher. We are lining up for a fun field trip, and my kids are having a hard time listening up.)

Me: “You know, guys, if you don’t listen up, then we won’t go.”

Student: “You wouldn’t actually do that.”

(I shoot a look to the student that says this, taking him by surprise, as he obviously thought I wouldn’t hear him.)

Student: “I just mean that it wouldn’t be fair to us if we didn’t go, so we should go even if we’re not behaving well.”

(I continue to stare at him. Other students notice how I’m reacting and start to quiet down to see what’s going on.)

Student: “I mean, you should care about us having fun on the field trip. Not about listening.”

(Finally, he stops talking as I continue to stare at him. The entire class is now silent, wondering how I’ll respond. I then gesture to the classroom we just left.)

Me: “Do you see this classroom, [Student]?”

Student: “Uh, yes.”

Me: “The inside of this classroom represents all the cares I have about that statement you made. I hope you notice that it’s empty.”

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Never To Old To Be Toothless

, , , | Related | October 4, 2017

(The movie “How To Train Your Dragon” has come out, and my sister is obsessed with Toothless, the dragon. She loves anything to do with the character, and I often pick her up any memorabilia I can find. One day, I find these awesome action figures of Toothless. I immediately grab them, and they end up being the only thing I’m buying. I get in line behind the dad and his young son, when the following occurs:)

Cashier: *finishes scanning their items, reaches over divider, and grabs the Toothless toy* “Do you want this is the bag or does he want to play with it?”

(I realize she is talking to the dad and his son.)

Dad: “Uh, that’s not mine.”

Me: “Sorry, that’s mine.”

(The cashier looks between us, confused. She apparently thought I was the boy’s mother, even though I’m only in my 20s and haven’t been standing close to them at all. I’m not bothered by it at all, but she starts apologizing profusely.)

Me: “It’s no big deal; it’s an honest mistake. Especially since these toys would’ve been perfect for that little boy.”

Cashier: “I know; I love How To Train Your Dragon! Are these for a little nephew?”

Me: “Yes. Yes they are.”

(I didn’t have the heart to tell her they were for my 22-year-old sister.)

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Their Humor Is Fast And Moose

, , | Learning | October 3, 2017

(I am on a kayaking trip. We are learning about safety, and our instructor is sharing stories. He shares a story on how he can emit a moose call, and I am fascinated.)

Me: “Really? You can do a moose call? Can you do it right now?”

(He looks at me, then makes a big show of stretching and getting ready to emit this big call. He slowly brings his hands up to his mouth, holds them there, and then:)

Instructor: “HERE, MOOSEY MOOSEY!”

(It was hilarious, but I felt slightly embarrassed that I fell for it.)

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