How Can I Not Help You Today?

, , , , | Right | April 30, 2018

(I am working at a fast food restaurant one busy night. I get this call.)

Me: “This is [Store]. Bonjour, hello!”

Customer: “Hi, is this the store at [Location]?”

Me: “Yes, that would be us. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I just wanted to know if you changed your recipe.”

Me: “Um, no, not that I’m aware of.”

Customer: “Well, then what the f*** is wrong with my food? It tastes like gasoline!”

Me: “Gasoline? That can’t be right. Maybe the deep fryer oil has burnt; I will go check that right away.”

Customer: “Yeah, it tastes burnt! You guys have to clean your oil and make sure you don’t burn anything!”

Me: “Okay, thank you for bringing this to our attention. I’m very sorry this has ruined your meal; could I offer you a credit for the next visit?”

Customer: “Yeah, well, whatever. I know you won’t f****** do anything for me, anyway.”

(Confused, maybe she didn’t hear me.)

Me: “Well ma’am, I could take down your information and log you for a credit for your next visit.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, I know you won’t do anything. I just want to make sure other families don’t have such a disgusting, disappointing meal as mine did!”

Me: “Again. I am very sorry that this happened, and I thank you again for letting me—”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever. You don’t do anything for me.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, as I said before, I could take down your information and write you a credit.”

(At this point, this back-and-forth has gone on for a good five minutes. I have the credit book open and ready, date and time checked in already, and a line up front with angry customers waiting for their food. We are always understaffed, so I really can’t be on the phone.)

Customer: “You won’t do anything for me! *hangs up*

Me: “I offered her free food, like, ten times.”

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