Gender Fender Bender

, , , , | Right | March 29, 2011

Customer: “I need to return this card.”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “I bought it for my wife’s birthday. It’s a very nice card, but I missed the last line.”

(I look at the card, and it reads ‘to the man I love’. The refund was given.)

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Ah, Children

, , | Right | March 22, 2011

(A customer approaches with her two-year-old son in arms, and her five-year-old daughter. As she is about to order, a customer from a few minutes earlier storms in front of her. She is yelling and screaming incoherently, and throws her drink on the counter.)

Daughter: *to her mother* “Mummy, why is the lady yelling?”

Mother: “Never mind it, she’s just being rude.”

(The little girl scowls, and points at the customer.)

Daughter: “You cut that out right now! You need to be more polite!”

(Taking example from his sister, the toddler starts pointing and yelling.)

Toddler: “BAD! BAD!”

(The irate customer is embarrassed. She shuts up and storms out. The little girl gets a free hot chocolate.)

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Goldilocks Is Better Off With The Bears

, , , , , | Right | February 28, 2011

(Note: We sell a mosquito tent for babies that is very compact and light.)

Customer: “Hi, I have a question about your baby tent?”

Me: “Sure, what would you like to know?”

Customer: “Can the tent withstand a bear attack?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well, let’s say we go camping and my husband and I are sun tanning on the other side of the lake. If a bear comes into the campsite, will the tent protect my child?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m confused. Who is in the campsite with your baby while you are on the other side of the lake?”

Customer: “Nobody. Why?”

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Don’t Knock It Until You’ve Pried It

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2011

(We are closed and counting money from the register when a customer approaches the locked door and tries to open it. She notices the closed sign and tries the door again, then knocks on the door loudly and pulls hard on the door — so hard, in fact, that she manages to fit her shoe through the crack. Worried about a broken door, I open the door quickly.)

Customer: “Are you open?”

Me: “No, we are closed.”

Customer: “Then why did you open the door?!”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9

, , , , | Right | February 23, 2011

(I’m setting a customer up for a pre-authorized payment so her checking account pays her credit card automatically on the due date. I’m going over all the details.)

Me: “If there aren’t sufficient funds in the bank account at the time of payment, an NSF fee will be charged.”

Customer: “What?! You mean I have to have money in my bank account?”

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