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A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 13

, , , , , , | Working | August 27, 2021

I get a voicemail from my dentist’s office saying that I have an outstanding bill and to call them right away. This is odd because the last time I saw them, all that was done was a routine cleaning and I paid a copay at the visit. I’m not looking forward to the call since the receptionist is frequently rude.

Receptionist: “[Dentist]’s office, this is [Receptionist].”

Me: “Hi, [Receptionist], this is [My Name]. I’m returning the call I received from you about a bill.”

Receptionist: “It’s about time you called! Do you know how much you owe?!”

Me: “No, I never received a bill in the mail.”

Receptionist: “It’s $700. Get your credit card so we can take care of this.”

Me: “Wait, what?! $700 for a cleaning? Is that with insurance?”

Receptionist: *Smugly* “You didn’t have insurance. So, how are you planning on making the payment? I can take a credit card number right now.”

Me: “Yes, I do have insurance. It needs to be run again.”

Receptionist: “The insurance I have on file didn’t go through. You owe us $700.”

Me: “Is that with the old insurance or the new one I provided you with when I came in?”

Receptionist: “Uh, what?”

Me: “Was it [Old Insurance] or [New Insurance]?”

Receptionist: “It was [Old Insurance].”

Me: “That one isn’t current anymore.”

Receptionist: “Well, you didn’t give a new insurance when you were here, so now you owe us $700.”

Me: “No. I have insurance and I did give you the new insurance. I’d be more than happy to provide you the insurance information and have you run that again before making any payments.”

Receptionist: “I guess that’s the only option you’re giving me?”

Me: “Yes.”

She begrudgingly takes the information, asking for it in a very nasty tone.

Receptionist: “Fine, I did what you want. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Me: “Yes, actually. Cancel my next appointment.”

Her attitude suddenly changes.

Receptionist: “Oh, uh, can I ask why?”

Me: “Because I never want to deal with you again.”

Sure enough, the $700 bill disappeared once sent through the correct insurance company.

Related:
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 12
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 11
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 10
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 9
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 8

Water You Doing With Your Water?!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: butterthenugget | August 8, 2021

Caller: “Hi, I was just calling in to see why my bill went up.”

Me: “It looks like your usage increased last year. We are seeing this a lot because of everything going on at the moment. Did you start working from home?”

Caller: “No, we weren’t working; we were just sitting in the garden.”

Me: “We have here that there are two children at the property. Were they home from school?”

Caller: “Well, yeah, but they weren’t showering all the time.”

Me: “But they were home a lot more than normal.”

Caller: “Yeah, but they weren’t using water.”

I got the customer to do a leak test because, apparently, nobody in the house was allowed to use the water except for a weekly shower, according to the caller and many others I have spoken to over the last year.

Yes, water can be expensive, and it’s a pain that we have to pay for something that is so basic for our survival, but it is clean and delivered straight to our houses which is better than a lot of people get.

Lonely, He’s Mister Lonely

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Mike_OxonFaier | August 7, 2021

Back in 1999, I worked for a British phone company in the billing department. One day, I got a call from a customer wanting to discuss some phone numbers that had appeared on his bill. I went through security questions and then looked at his bill. I was shocked by what I saw. His monthly phone bill was just over £1,500.00 which, given that my rent for a two-bedroom flat at the time was £450.00, was an astonishing amount. I looked more carefully and found hundreds or perhaps thousands of calls to premium-rate sex lines.

I asked the customer where he wanted me to start, and he only wanted to identify a couple of local rate calls. I found the information he wanted, and he said thank you and hung up.

A colleague saw me with my mouth still agape.

Colleague: “Was that [Customer]?”

Me: “Yes!”

Colleague: “That guy calls every month with the same sort of question, and his bill is always around £1,500.00. All sex lines. It’s amazing. I mean, he could hire a prostitute every day and spend less.”

I never had a customer like that again.

You Break It, You Bought It

, , , , , | Right | August 3, 2021

I get a call and go through the opening spiel.

Me: “How can I assist you?

Caller: “Yes, I am calling about my client, [Mr. Client].”

He gives information and I pull up the file. This caller is authorized to call upon his behalf. I do the security checks and ask what I can do for him. 

Caller: “[Mr. Client] received a bill and I want to appeal it.”

Me: “Let me look into it. It seems he got a bill for destroying [equipment]. Are you appealing because he didn’t break it?”

Caller: “No, he did break it.”

Me: “Then why do you wish to appeal?”

Caller: “My client has no money, so he can’t pay this.”

Me: “Oh, do you wish to make a payment arrangement?”

Caller: “No, I want you to cancel the bill.”

Me: “May I ask why you want this bill cancelled?”

Caller: *Sighs* “Because he can’t pay it. I just told you!”

Me: “Yes, I heard that, but he destroyed expensive equipment. If he breaks something, we will send a bill for damages.”

Caller: “Yeah, but you are a multi-million-company, so you can easily pay that.”

Me: “Sir, I scrolled through your client’s file. Are you aware that this is the fifth time it happened? And that we have been sending bills for this ever since the third time it happened?”

Caller: “Yeah, so? You can pay it. My client has no money for it.”

Me: “Then I am afraid you and your client will have to look for a solution. And maybe you can advise your client to be more careful, because each time he breaks this, he will get a bill.”

Caller: “I object to that! I will file a complaint with the Ombudsman! And I will get a lawyer!”

Me: “That’s your choice, sir, as well as your right. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “I hope you are getting paid good money for this, you b****. How do you even sleep at night?!” *Hangs up*

My manager laughed loudly when he listened to this call.

Paying Your Bills Should Be A Priority, But… Yikes

, , , , , | Healthy | June 28, 2021

I work in the accounts billable department of one of the two major hospitals in Iowa City. It’s my job, essentially, to explain to clients why the amount they have been billed isn’t what they expected.

I’m the low peon on the totem pole, being the newest hire. That means I get to deal with the clients face to face across the billing counter.

One lady is yelling at me about her bill, when suddenly she makes a very strange, strangled sound. I figure she’s having some sort of medical event, so I immediately press the emergency medical event call button.

This turns out to be a very good idea. The lady is wearing a fairly short-skirted pantsuit, so I can see her legs. Specifically, I can see the stitches on her right leg coming undone. First, the top stitch pops, then the next one, and then the next, faster and faster until she’s got an open gash from her garters to her ankles.

Despite this, and despite her collapsing almost immediately like a puppet with her strings cut, the client continues to weakly try to discuss her billing with me, even as the orderlies pick her up and transfer her to a stretcher to carry her right back into surgery.

Still in shock from this whole affair, I stare at the massive puddle of blood in the middle of the floor, and I make the mistake of asking my coworker who’s responsible for cleaning it up.

Turned out it was me.