, , , , | Right | January 11, 2021

In our bakery, we have our bagels and pretzels on display on these hooks where customers can walk up and serve themselves.

Customer: “Which one is this?”

She asks instead of, you know, reading the tag that is directly in front of it. I have to contort my body over the counter to see which one she is talking about.

Me: “Cinnamon crunch.”

Customer: “Does it taste like cinnamon?”

Me: *Pause* “Yes?”

At what point is “Duh!” an appropriate response to a customer’s line of questioning?

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It’s Hard To Stay Chip-per At Work

, , , | Right | January 7, 2021

I’m working in a bakery, serving [Customer #1], who has just bought some hot chips [fries] in an open container from another store and set them down on the counter in front of herself while she is ordering. I notice [Customer #2] approach, take one of the chips, and eat it. [Customer #1] and I stare at [Customer #2].

Customer #2: “I didn’t expect that sample to be hot.”

Customer #1: “Actually, that’s my lunch.”

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Wait Until You Tell Him What Free-Range Means

, , , | Right | January 4, 2021

Our business makes egg-free cakes and pastries, and we put this on a sign on the product. We’re selling them at the markets when a customer comes in.

Customer: “I want the free egg.”

He kept pointing angrily at the sign while we all tried to work out how to tell him.

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No Forking Way

, , , | Right | December 25, 2020

I work in a small bakery inside a supermarket. This occurs in November 2020.

Customer: “One piece of this cake here, please. And can I have a fork to eat that with?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but due to current health regulations, we do not offer seating at the moment.”

Customer: “But I can eat it outside!”

Me: “We do not offer seating outside, either.”

Customer: “I can still eat it outside!”

Me: “You want to stand outside in the parking lot and eat cake? In winter?”

Customer: “Yes! Now can I have a fork?”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have any single-use cutlery. And I can’t be sure you won’t just take the fork with you if you use it outside.”

Customer: “So, no fork?”

Me: “No.”

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If You Expect Customers To Read You Will Be Disappointed

, , , , , | Right | December 19, 2020

It is the middle of December, our busiest season for both in-store and online orders. A customer calls to complain about an order she had shipped.

Me: “Good afternoon, [My Shop]!” 

Customer: “Yeah, my name is [Customer] and I just got an order that I placed on your website; you sent it to me! Why would I want all these boxes sent to me?!

Me: *Looking up the order* “Ma’am, it looks like you used [Customer’s Address] as the shipping information for each box.”

Customer: *Irate* “But why would I send them all to myself?!”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. Did you receive a confirmation email for the order?”

Customer: “Of course!”

Me: “And did you verify that the information was correct on that email?”

Customer: “I don’t have time to read things! And I don’t want all these stupid boxes; I’m allergic to chocolate! You have to send them where they were supposed to go!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but as far as we knew, you had told us where they were supposed to go in the original order… so that’s where we sent them.”

Customer: “Well, I can’t be expected to know that. Why would you send all these boxes to my address? You have to send new ones to the right addresses or my Christmas is going to be ruined! I spent all this money and you screwed up the order!”

I was too disgusted and exhausted to continue the conversation. I handed the phone to my husband, who ended up refunding the customer all of her shipping fees. Three years later, I still twitch whenever the phone rings in December.

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