The Cake Is A Bye

, , | Right | March 17, 2021

I work in a bakery. A mother and her two young sons come in to pick out cake. They take their time, but it is slow, so we joke around while the boys look around. They eventually make a choice, pay, and start walking out.

Me: “Enjoy the cake, bye!”

Oldest Son: “Thank you, goodbye!”

Youngest Son: “Bye! I never want to see you again!”

Me: “But I’m the one who sells cake!”

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Hopefully This Is Just An Old Wives’ Tale

, , , | Right | March 17, 2021

I see an older man standing in front of the counter, so I assume he wants to order and head over. I look young, but I’m twenty-five and married.

Me: “Hello! What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know yet what I’ll like. I’m just waiting for my wife here. She will then tell me what I want!”

He tells me this in a weirdly solemn voice, so I assume he is joking. I attempt to joke with him.

Me: “I’m sure you can know yourself what you’ll like if you try!”

Customer: *In a completely serious tone now* “I see you obviously don’t have a man in your life. Don’t you know that as soon as a man is married, his wife gets to make all the decisions?”

I wait for him to start laughing, but he only stares down at me. I realize he’s actually serious.

Me: *Uncomfortable* “Uh, well, I’m going to ask my husband how he feels about that when I get home.” 

Customer: “Oh, yes. Ask him. I will wait for my wife.”

He didn’t move an inch from his spot and kept staring at me while I continued with my tasks until another customer approached me. I attended several more customers before an older woman entered the store who turned out to be his wife. I saw him show her something on my counter. I could not make out what they were saying, but they had a short discussion and then the wife ushered her husband out, without buying anything.

I still don’t know if I should feel sorry for that man… but he seemed to absolutely believe what he said.

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Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 6

, , | Right | March 12, 2021

I work at a chain bakery with locations all across the country. We bake our bread in the morning and give our leftovers to charities, so we don’t keep any products in the store that weren’t baked the same day.

Customer: “Hello, I would like a LowFOD—” *Lower in gluten for sensitive stomachs* “—loaf, please.”

Me: “I’m really, sorry, but we only bake that loaf on Saturday, so I don’t have that one today.”

It is Monday, and I can already see this lady is going to get angry.

Customer: “What?! Okay, well, do you have anything similar to that today?”

Me: “Sorry again, but that one is the only loaf we make with low gluten—”

Customer: *Interrupting* “No, I want gluten-free bread!”

Me: “Yeah, I’m so sorry again, but I really don’t think there is anything I can serve you; everything in our bakery has gluten in it—”

Customer: *Interrupting again* “Then can you take one of those loafs out of the freezer and have it defrosted by the time I’m finished shopping? I came all the way here from [Suburb I live in, a ten-minute drive away] and I need my bread.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we don’t keep any bread in our freezers, and as I was saying, all of our bread has glut—”

Customer: “This is unacceptable. Get me your manager.”

Our store doesn’t have a manager at the moment as the only manager has just retired, so I grab my most senior coworker, who proceeds to get loudly reprimanded for about ten minutes.

Customer: “It doesn’t say anywhere on your website that you only serve it Saturdays!”

Coworker: “Yeah, sorry about that. It’s a nationwide website and every store has a different policy.”

Finally, the customer leaves, but she comes back about ten minutes later when I am out the front of our bakery with free samples. She has shopping bags in her arms.

Customer: “Do you sell sourdoughs?”

Me: “Yes, we have them every day.”

Customer: “Well, you should have told me that. They’re gluten-free, so I can have them! Honestly, you shouldn’t work in a bakery if you don’t know that!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that ma’am, but I feel I should let you know before you go that actually nothing at our bakery is gluten-free, even the sourdoughs and lowFOD, as it is all baked in the same oven and goes through the same bread slicer.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you tell me that earlier?! Honestly, at least now I know never to come back!”

Thank God for that.

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought Part 5
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought Part 4
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought Part 3
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought Part 2
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

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Teasing Out The Teas

, , , | Right | March 8, 2021

It’s two minutes before closing. The shop is mostly clean, and I’m doing final closing times; a man comes in who looks like he might be on drugs — not dangerous, but wide-eyed, clutching several dirty carrier bags, twitchy. My manager is around the corner so she can hear me, but she isn’t visible to the customer.

Customer: “Can I still get a hot drink?”

Me: “Yes, but we close in two minutes.”

Customer: “That’s fine. Can I have two cups of tea?”

Me: “Sure.”

I turn my back and start making the drinks. I just have to add a bag to a cup and use the hot water machine to fill it by holding the handle. I don’t realise my manager has moved to where she’s visible to this man.

Manager: “He’s gone.”

Me: “What?”

I turn and she’s right. He’s just gone, without a word. We’re now shut. I’m left holding half a cup of tea, not sure what to do.

Manager: “He just saw me and walked out. Well, we’re shut now. Too late.”

She puts our shutter down halfway as the charity lady has arrived to collect our food for the food bank. We start wrapping the trays for her. Then, I turn around and the man is back, stood at the counter. The lights are down to our close-state, everything has now been turned off.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we’re closed now.”

Customer: “I was being served.”

Me: “Yeah, I was serving you. I’m really sorry, but we’re shut. I can’t serve you anymore. You left.”

Customer: “I went to get money. You were serving me. You have to serve me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t. We’re shut. It won’t let me now. You just left without saying anything so we thought you’d changed your mind.”

It continues like this for over a minute. My manager comes out to back me up. We are shut, we can’t do the transaction, he just left, etc. The whole time, he has a blank-eyed stare, and it just isn’t going into his head. Finally…

Manager: “Sir, you need to leave. We’re shut. There’s nothing we can do. You left without saying why. We didn’t know what you were doing, so we didn’t make them.”

Customer: “But I was just getting money. I was getting money. I have money…”

He kept muttering until he left. We didn’t waste much time getting the barrier down after that.

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Charity And Tolerance Aren’t Working Today

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I’m at the register, taking orders, all masked up, as usual. This fine lady waltzes in without a mask at all, so her fine face is on full public display.

Me: “I beg your pardon, ma’am; where’s your mask?”

Customer: “I don’t have one. Do you have a spare one?”

Me: “No, we don’t. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, can I place an order, anyway?”

Cue my manager. 

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t serve you unless you have a mask.”

Customer: “Well, what about charity and tolerance?”

She says this in a rather whiny voice.

Manager: “We can still serve you in the drive-thru.”

Customer: “Can’t I pay for it here and then go through the drive-thru?” 

Manager: “No. Either go through the drive-thru or leave now.”

Customer: “Charity and tolerance! Remember charity and tolerance!”

Luckily, it didn’t escalate into anything serious. She did go through the drive-thru after all, and even then, she kept pulling that “charity and tolerance” card on us. Both my manager and I couldn’t stop rolling our eyes at each other.

Sure, lady, we’ll be REAL generous with the germs. We’re only wearing these masks for pure fashion.

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