Friends At A Funeral

, , , , | Friendly | May 29, 2017

My mother died the year after I finished high school. When the funeral service was over, I turned to see all my closest friends there — including one high school friend that had moved 800 km away. At the time I assumed she’d gotten time off from her job as I knew she’d gotten an apprenticeship.

I found out later that her boss had refused to give her the time off. So she quit her job and jumped on the first train she could to come and be with my family and me. She set her career back an entire year.

I love my friends.

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The Great Escape: The Ballet

, , , , , | Learning | February 14, 2017

(The ballet teacher is rather strict about not joking around in class even though we’re all adults. “Echappé” is where you jump from feet together to land with feet apart.)

Teacher: “And what does echappé mean?”

Me: “To escape.”

Teacher: “And what are we escaping from?”

Me: “You.”

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It’s All For One

| Romantic | December 16, 2016

(My husband is just about to go on a three-day camping trip with his friends. I don’t sleep very well when he’s away. He asks what he can do to help.)

Husband: “Feeling okay, my darling?”

Me: “Mehhh, just a bit tired. Hopefully I’ll sleep well.”

Husband: “Sleep well when I’m away? Right.”

Me: “I’m planning on a food coma.”

Husband: “Oh?”

Me: “All the ice cream. All of it.”

Husband: *laughs* “What type were you thinking of?”

Me: “Which part of ALL wasn’t clear?”

(He bought me a large take-home pack before he left.)

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I Rest My Chase

, , , | Right | November 14, 2016

(I am at work at a boat dealership, when a man with matted grey hair and a biker jacket walks in. I am upstairs working so my coworker approaches the man. I can hear their conversation from my office.)

Coworker: “Hello, sir. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I wanna talk to [Coworker who isn’t working that day].”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but he isn’t in today. What were you chasing?”

Customer: “Chasing? I wasn’t chasing anything!”

Coworker: “What were you after, sir?”

Customer: “I’m not chasing anyone!”

(This continued for a while until the man eventually leaves, but not before saying “How rude” to my coworker. I walk downstairs and approach my coworker.)

Coworker: “Wonder what he wanted from [Coworker who isn’t working that day].”

Me: *jokingly* “Maybe he’s a convicted stalker and got scared when you said chasing.”

(I looked out the window to watch the man leave, expecting him to hop onto a Harley or something similar, but to my surprise the man got on to a push bike and rode it down the footpath. I swear, we get all the crazy ones.)

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One Of Them Is Not Very Personable

, , , , | Right | September 19, 2016

Caller: “Hi, can I get a maxi taxi?”

Me: “Sure. Is that for a wheelchair or group of people?”

Caller: “There are four people travelling. Two adults and three children.”

Me: “…”

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