I’m dealing blackjack on a table quite close to the cashier when a customer comes up to me and throws US currency on the table.

Customer: “I’ll get that all in $100 chips, thanks.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t change that currency for you on the table, but if you take it to the cashier they can exchange it for you.”

Customer: “It’s money, though.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but not Australian currency, and I’m afraid I can’t exchange it for you, but if you take it—”

Customer: “The exchange is about ninety cents US to your dollar.”

Me: “I can’t just guess the exchange rate, sir.”

Customer: “It’s like you don’t even know how money works!”

The customer stormed off past the cashier and out the exit.

I get called down to the front to find an item for a customer and to answer his question. The last one of this item which is a GPS is being sold under cost as it has been on clearance a while. The unit has not even been turned on.

Customer: Can I get a discount on this item?

Me: We are already losing a significant amount of money on this item but I will ask my boss.

*1 minute later after asking my boss*

Me: My boss has authorized [lower price].

Customer: Is that all?

Me: We are losing a significant amount of money already and can’t go lower. *with a smile* If you don’t want it I might pick it up myself as I didn’t even realize it was so cheap.

Customer: No that’s fine i’ll take it.

We end up having a good laugh about it with each other. For those wondering why I didn’t know the price myself, I work in a large store with thousands of items and that product had only lowered in price shortly before I started my shift.

I work in an independently-owned woodfire pizza and burger shop. We have an American diner feel to the place and one of our walls is a collage of cut-out pictures of old cars, movies, pinup girls, and so on.

A father has come in for lunch with his handicapped teenage son. My boss is cooking their food while I make the father his coffee at the front of the shop. I have the biggest smile on my face watching how wrapped up in our picture wall the son is.

Son: “Look, Daddy, it’s Elvis!”

Father: “Yes, Son.”

Son: “Do you like Elvis, Daddy?”

Father: “Yep, he’s great.”

Son: “ELVIS, ELVIS, ELVIS, ELVIS!”

The son then starts looking at the other pictures and, to his father’s horror and my absolute delight, he points at a pinup girl…

Son: “Look, Daddy! A STRIPPER!”

The father proceeded to turn a violent shade of red and I had to quickly run to the back of the shop to avoid being caught almost wetting myself! Sir, your boy is absolutely gorgeous and he made my week! I hope you enjoyed your coffee!

(I’m working as a sales assistant in the ladies’ shoe section of a large department store. I’m still fairly new to this job, so I don’t know who the regular customers are yet. An elderly man comes in and begins looking at a wall display of high heels.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Elderly Man: “Yeah, good.”

Me: “Did you need any help today?”

(I notice the man running his hands slowly over various high heels.)

Elderly Man: “No, I’m all right.”

(I walk off and look over at him every now and then whilst serving other customers. For quite a while, he remains at that wall display, stroking various high heels, and eventually, he walks away.)

Coworker: “Hey, um, next time that man comes in, don’t bother asking him if he needs any help.”

Me: “Why?”

Coworker: “That dude has a foot fetish. He comes in once a week, goes straight to that wall display, and touches a bunch of high heels and leaves. He especially goes for the black patent leather ones.”

(I guess you get all kinds of people in department stores.)

(After bringing my phone in to have the SIM card from an old phone installed, it won’t connect to the network, so as advised, I have come back the next day to see if it can be fixed.)

Assistant: “Sorry, this phone is too old; it won’t work with our SIM card.”

Me: “But I had one of your SIM cards in a phone older than this just yesterday.”

Assistant: “Yes, but we transferred your number to a newer SIM card which isn’t compatible with your phone.”

Me: “Okay. So, change it back.”

Assistant: “Sorry, there’s nothing we can do.”

Me: “What about the old phone?”

Assistant: “That won’t work anymore, either, because we gave you a new SIM card.”

Me: “So, what do I do?”

Assistant: “You have to buy a new phone.”

Me: “Hang on: I came in here with a working phone and another that could work. Then, after I gave them to you, I have two completely unusable phones?”

Assistant: “Yes, you need to buy a new phone.”

Me: “No, I need to speak to your manager.”

(The assistant gets a manager.)

Manager: “So, my employee explained the situation, and yes, you’ll have to buy a new phone.”

Me: “No, that’s unacceptable. You changed my SIM card without telling me or explaining that it might not work in an older model phone. I had a working phone until I gave it to you, and now I have none. You need to fix this.”

Manager: “There’s nothing we can do.”

Me: “I don’t believe you.”

Manager: “I can escalate this to the store manager, if you like.”

Me: “Please.”

(The store manager comes out and I explain the problem to him.)

Store Manager: “Ah, I’ve seen this before; we just need to do a full factory reset.”

(He resets the phone and it works perfectly.)

Store Manager: “Yeah, sorry, a lot of the employees out in the front don’t really know how this stuff works.”

Me: *after a pause* “Thanks.”