Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

The best of our most recent stories!

To Taste Nice, The Spice Must Flow

, , , | Right | April 27, 2024

Customer: “I want the spicy salmon, but I don’t want any spices.”

Me: “Of course. It’s still made with salt and pepper with—”

Customer: “No… No salt or pepper. And no oil, and no butter! I’m on a diet.”

Me: “Well, that doesn’t leave much to flavor it with. Are you okay with it just tasting like seared salmon and nothing else?”

Customer: “Eww, no! I expect you to make it taste nice!”

Me: “How, ma’am? You’ve said no to most of our seasoning and flavoring.”

Customer: “Just… make it taste nice!”

She spent $25 on a few pieces of seared plain salmon. When I checked in on them, she had taken one bite and left the rest. I guess it didn’t taste nice.

Manage Your Temper Or Never Manage Again

, , , , , , | Working | April 17, 2024

I recently got to nuke a former manager’s chances at my new job.

I used to work at a now-defunct bookstore chain, and a new manager was transferred into ours. All the employees believed that she was intentionally transferred there to tank our (previously well-performing) store so corporate could justify closing that location down. 

[Manager] drove away half the old-timers who had been there for years and knew what they were doing. She often took several hour-long lunch breaks. In an eight-hour shift, her record was four breaks. She also often left the store when there were no other managers on shift.

Three-quarters of our cafe staff quit (including me) after [Manager] fired the cafe manager over a minor incident. We all went in at the same time to submit our two-week resignation notice, and she swept everything off her desk in a rage. The result was a very heavy stapler hitting the wall hard enough to leave a dent. She had a screaming meltdown at all of us.

Immediately, our two-week notice became “effective immediately,” and we all gathered our things, punched out, and left. The entire time, we were serenaded by [Manager] growing increasingly more vile and personal in her freak-out.

A year or two later, I worked as an assistant manager for a competing chain.

General Manager: “By any chance did you work with [Manager] at [Former Location]? She’s applying for a management position with our company.”

I explained everything above, and then I added:

Me: “If you bring her on board, you will have my immediate resignation on your desk before the end of the day.”

Another coworker who had worked for her a few years before me at another location said the same.

Thankfully, the general manager took us seriously, and [Manager] was not brought on board. The sad part is that with people like her, you don’t even have to exaggerate; just telling the truth is enough to make any smart employer toss their resume.

These Dad Jokes Are Getting Bananas

, , , , , | Right | April 19, 2024

I’m working in the produce section, stocking some new bananas, and a customer comes over to me.

Customer: “Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?”

Me: “No, sir, I didn’t know that.”

Customer: “It’s totally true. Think about it. When was the last time you ate a monkey?”

Me: “That’s… I…”

Customer: “This is why I shouldn’t shop without the wife…” *Wanders off*

This Argument Is Getting Old

, , , , , , | Right | April 25, 2024

My dad is cleaning up and posts some stuff (old small furniture and the like) online as “free for pick-up”. He immediately gets a response from someone who is going to check the stuff out. After the meeting, my dad donates the stuff to the man.

The man asks if my dad is okay with him picking it all up over the spread of the next few days. When my dad asks why, the man says he has no car and has to use public transportation. My dad decides to just take the stuff to the man’s home.

Me: “Why did you do that when you stated it was ‘free for pick-up’?”

Dad: “It never hurts to help someone. And he was an old man, clearly over sixty. I just didn’t want him to hassle with this stuff.”

Fair enough, Dad. But… my dad is close to eighty years old!

You are as old as you feel you are, I guess?

We Hope This Lack Of Effort Is Rare

, , , , , | Romantic | May 1, 2024

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m eating dinner at a steakhouse. The waitress brings around a bunch of pink carnations and hands one out to each female diner. 

The man at the next table says something I can’t make out. His date replies: 

Woman: “No. You still have to. This flower isn’t from you; it’s from [Steakhouse]!”