Buying In Bulk Causes Them To Sulk
My favourite wine is 25% off, and the supermarket is also having a sale on wine in general: get four bottles and the fifth is free. Since I have an empty car, I stock up! I grab twenty-five bottles and bring those to the checkout.
Cashier: “Oh, they’re all the same!”
Me: “Yes, you have a sale on, so I grabbed them all. There are twenty-five, if you need to type it in instead of scanning each one.”
The cashier nods and starts counting them. The customer behind me comments loudly in a sing-song voice:
Customer: “Looks like someone has an alcohooool problem!”
Me: *In a sing-song voice* “Looks like some c**ts need to mind their own businesssss!”
Customer: “There’s no need for such language!”
Me: “There’s also no need to judge a perfect stranger stocking up on a good deal, but here we are. I see you’ve got two of the 500-gram blocks of butter in your trolley. Are you going to eat those solid before you get home?”
Customer: “What?! Of course not!”
Me: “Then why would you assume I’m going to drink all of this wine in one go?”
Customer: “It’s… just… It’s a lot!”
Me: “So are you! Shut up and mind your own f****** business!”
She scoffs at my language again, but I turn around and ignore her. The cashier gives me my total, and I pay. As I am bagging my wine and other groceries, the cashier starts setting up the next customer’s items for scanning. The cashier says extra loud for me to hear:
Cashier: “Oh, madam! The [Store Brand] vodka is actually having a sale on the litre bottles, so they end up being cheaper than the 750-ml bottle you have here. Would you like me to get someone to bring the litre bottle for you?!”
I looked up and smiled at the customer as she had the decency to turn red, look sheepish, and tell the cashier, “Thank you but no, thank you…”