Has No Beef With Chemicals

, , , | Right | June 9, 2021

Customer: “Why is this beef so much more expensive than the regular kind?”

Me: “That’s organic, ma’am.”

Customer: “Screw that! Give me the cheaper kind that has all the chemicals in it!

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There… Are… Four… Tenders

, , , , | Right | June 5, 2021

Customer: “Can I get some chicken tenders?”

Me: “How many would you like?”

Customer: “How many do you have?”

Me: “Uh… four.”

Customer: “Can I have five?”

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The Portion Is Growing, Not Shrimping

, , | Right | June 3, 2021

A customer walks to the counter. Before I can even acknowledge her, she starts looking around and frantically waving to get someone’s attention. I stop what I’m doing and walk over.

Me: “May I help you?”

She looks at the shrimp silently for a while without looking up at me.

Customer: “Is this shrimp fresh?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Would you like some?”

The customer is still having a conversation with her friend across the aisle.

Customer: “Yeah. John was thinking about going…”

She looks up and sees I’m waiting to hear her order.

Customer: *To herself* “Let’s see… five people… three shrimp per person… hmmm…” *To me* “Give me twenty shrimp.”

She walks away. I bag up and price her shrimp. A little while later, she walks back to the counter to grab her shrimp.

Customer: “How many shrimp did you put in here?”

Me: “You asked for twenty.”

Customer: *To herself* “Five people… four per person…” *To me* “Put five more shrimp in here.”

She walks away again. I open her bag, throw in five shrimp, and reprice it. She returns again.

Customer: “Better put five more shrimp in!”

She walks away. I put five more shrimp in. This time, I wait until she comes back just in case she wants more. She looks at me waiting to reweigh her shrimp.

Customer: “What are you waiting for?!”

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I’m Right, Make No Bones About It

, , , | Right | June 3, 2021

Customer: “I’d like a pound of shrimp.”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: “These shrimp are boneless, right?”

Me: “Um… yes. There are no bones in the shrimp.”

Customer: *Placing his hand on the counter* “I’m serious, dude. There had better not be any bones in these d*** shrimp.”

Me: “Shrimp don’t have bones, sir.”

Customer: “Look, man. I’m feeding these shrimp to a kid. I. Don’t. Want. There. To. Be. Any. Bones.”

Me: “I 100% guarantee there aren’t any bones in this shrimp.”

Customer: “All righty.”

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Their Laziness Is Turned Up To Eleven

, , , , | Right | April 25, 2021

I work in the deli section of my store.

Customer: “Excuse me, are you all out of pita bread?”

Me: “Oh, the pita bread isn’t in this department. It’s going to be on the last aisle, number eleven.”

Customer: “You mean I have to walk all the way to the far end of the store?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Instead, she turned around and walked back out the front door and left.

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