Has No Beef With Chemicals
Customer: “Why is this beef so much more expensive than the regular kind?”
Me: “That’s organic, ma’am.”
Customer: “Screw that! Give me the cheaper kind that has all the chemicals in it!
There… Are… Four… Tenders
Customer: “Can I get some chicken tenders?”
Me: “How many would you like?”
Customer: “How many do you have?”
Me: “Uh… four.”
Customer: “Can I have five?”
The Portion Is Growing, Not Shrimping
A customer walks to the counter. Before I can even acknowledge her, she starts looking around and frantically waving to get someone’s attention. I stop what I’m doing and walk over.
Me: “May I help you?”
She looks at the shrimp silently for a while without looking up at me.
Customer: “Is this shrimp fresh?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. Would you like some?”
The customer is still having a conversation with her friend across the aisle.
Customer: “Yeah. John was thinking about going…”
She looks up and sees I’m waiting to hear her order.
Customer: *To herself* “Let’s see… five people… three shrimp per person… hmmm…” *To me* “Give me twenty shrimp.”
She walks away. I bag up and price her shrimp. A little while later, she walks back to the counter to grab her shrimp.
Customer: “How many shrimp did you put in here?”
Me: “You asked for twenty.”
Customer: *To herself* “Five people… four per person…” *To me* “Put five more shrimp in here.”
She walks away again. I open her bag, throw in five shrimp, and reprice it. She returns again.
Customer: “Better put five more shrimp in!”
She walks away. I put five more shrimp in. This time, I wait until she comes back just in case she wants more. She looks at me waiting to reweigh her shrimp.
Customer: “What are you waiting for?!”
I’m Right, Make No Bones About It
Customer: “I’d like a pound of shrimp.”
Me: “No problem.”
Customer: “These shrimp are boneless, right?”
Me: “Um… yes. There are no bones in the shrimp.”
Customer: *Placing his hand on the counter* “I’m serious, dude. There had better not be any bones in these d*** shrimp.”
Me: “Shrimp don’t have bones, sir.”
Customer: “Look, man. I’m feeding these shrimp to a kid. I. Don’t. Want. There. To. Be. Any. Bones.”
Me: “I 100% guarantee there aren’t any bones in this shrimp.”
Customer: “All righty.”
Their Laziness Is Turned Up To Eleven
I work in the deli section of my store.
Customer: “Excuse me, are you all out of pita bread?”
Me: “Oh, the pita bread isn’t in this department. It’s going to be on the last aisle, number eleven.”
Customer: “You mean I have to walk all the way to the far end of the store?!”
Me: “Yes.”
Instead, she turned around and walked back out the front door and left.