Seriously Cheesed Off

| MA, USA | Right | July 18, 2017

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: *distracted* “A sesame bagel, please, toasted with cream cheese.”

(I slice her bagel and put it in the toaster. While it’s toasting, I scoop out the right amount of cream cheese and put it on the deli paper.)

Customer: *suddenly annoyed* “Can you not finger-paint with my cream cheese, please?!”

(I’m shocked, but luckily her bagel is finished toasting so I grab it and spread on the cream cheese. I go to wrap it in the deli paper when she stops me again.)

Customer: “Can you at least wrap it in a clean piece of paper?! I don’t want cream cheese crap on the OUTSIDE of my bagel!”

(Still shocked, I got a new sheet of deli wrap and proceeded to wrap her bagel. She snatched it from my hand and stalked to the register. I was still shaken from the encounter, but my coworkers had a lot of fun calling her “the bagel b****” for the rest of the day!)

Begging For A Happy Ending

, , , | Hopeless | July 16, 2017

Story takes place outside of a deli type store, during a heat wave in the middle of the summer. In 2012 I find myself homeless due to enormous medical bills that leave me bankrupt. I don’t have a bed in a shelter yet and I am not proud but have been begging outside the store for some spare change, to get a bottle of water. I feel ashamed for begging but I haven’t had any water since the day before and feel so hot and weak. I have only had 35 cents so far.

An ambulance stops by for what I assume is snacks. The woman crew member apologizes and says she doesn’t have any spare change when I ask. I thank her anyway and resume standing outside.

The woman comes back out after about 5-10 minutes in the store. She approaches me and hands me a bag. Inside the bag is two large bottles of water and a sandwich. I break down crying from her generosity.

She then asks if I have someplace to stay and I tell her no. She asks if it would be okay if she makes a phone call on my behalf. What happens next is a miracle for me. She calls a homeless outreach program and tells them I have nowhere to go. Within an hour, a program counselor comes to pick me up and I have a shelter bed and access to food and water.

The shelter helped me find a new job and eventually helped me transition into my own place three months later. I never did catch the woman’s name, but she truly saved my life. I can only hope that she realizes how much of an impact she had on turning my situation around. I still call her my angel.

iCrime

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Right | July 16, 2017

(I’m at a local deli run by a man and his son. The owner’s wife is an accomplished painter.)

Owner: “Hey, someone left an iPhone here.”

Customer 1: “Oh, that’s mine.”

Customer 2: “You found my iPhone!”

Son: “Uh… Dad, that’s mine, I just put it down.”

(He unlocks it and shows the photos. It’s clearly his family. Customers #1 and #2 scurry out of the store.)

Owner: “I wonder… [Regular], you still have that broken iPad?”

Regular: “Uh, yeah? You want it?”

Owner: “Yeah!”

(I’m back in next day, and the regular is already there. The owner’s wife is sitting at the back table and carefully painting the back of an iPad.)

Me: “Hey, [Owner’s Wife]. Uh, what are you painting?”

Wife: “John Kerry and a donkey flying a biplane.”

Me: “…what?”

Wife: “Talk to [Owner].”

Owner: “Just you wait.”

(The next day, I come in again, and there’s a sign posted: “IPAD FOUND” with the wife’s art carefully displayed.)

Me: “Hey, [Owner], how’s the iPad scam going?”

Owner: “Five people banned from the store already!”

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Quick To Complain

, | FL, USA | Working | July 13, 2017

Manager: “Are you still making those subs?”

Me: “I’m trying to make them look good, like in the display photo.”

Manager: “Hurry up and finish it! I need you to make fried chicken after this.”

Me: “Hey, do you want it done fast, or do you want it done right?”

Manager: “I want it done fast!”

Me: “You’re the boss.”

(I start making the sandwiches quickly and totally half-a**ed.)

Manager: “You’re not doing it right!”

Deaf To Reason, Part 5

| USA | Working | July 3, 2017

(My husband has been working in the deli of a popular convenience store/sandwich place for several months. He gets along great with his coworkers and managers, works hard, and everyone seems to think highly of him. He also has hearing loss from explosions from when he served in the military. One of the shift leads, who he’s never actually had a problem with, is very soft-spoken. One day, this conversation happened:)

Shift Lead: *to coworker* “What the f*** is [Husband]’s problem? Every time I try to ask him to do something or say ANYTHING to him, he just ignores me! I don’t know why everyone thinks he’s such a great guy!”

Coworker: “You know he’s deaf, right?”

Shift Lead: “What?!”

Husband: “What’s going on?”

Coworker: “[Shift Lead] didn’t know you’re deaf.”

Husband: “Yeah, I have some hearing loss in both ears. If you ever need to get my attention, and I can’t hear you, just tap me on the shoulder. No big deal.”

Shift Leader: “This changes my ENTIRE perspective on you! I thought you were just being a jerk!”

Husband: “I’m… sorry?”

Coworker: *barely stifles laughter*

Related:
Deaf To Reason, Part 4
Deaf To Reason, Part 3
Deaf To Reason, Part 2

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