A Bad Sample Of Humanity

, , , , , , | Right | March 27, 2020

Corporate has decided to ban all sampling indefinitely in lieu of all the very busy days and panic buying. I was just informed of this a few hours before this incident. I am working the counter while my manager is stocking the shelves in front of the cases. An older man comes up, smelling like alcohol, and I go to assist him. Everything he says is slightly slurred but still understandable.

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

 A customer is pointing vaguely at the hot case where everything is chicken.

Customer: “How much is this chicken?”

Me: “Which chicken?”

Customer: *louder* “The chicken!”

Me: “The fried chicken, the baked chicken, the chicken tenders?”

Customer: “Just give me a sample of your chicken salad.”

I start to grab a sample cup and spoon, but my manager, who has been watching, tells me no samples.

Me: “I’m sorry, we’re not giving samples right now.”

Customer: *Angrily* “Why not?”

Me: “Due to the viru—”

The customer completely cuts me off.

Customer: “F*** you and your mom!”

Me: *Calmly* “May you be blessed with the same kindness you show everyone else.”

I just moved on to help the next customer and my manager followed the first customer upfront and made sure that he wasn’t allowed to buy his beer.

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Unfiltered Story #189073

, , , | Unfiltered | March 12, 2020

(So this happened to my friend and not me)
Customer: Excuse me, do you people do special cuts with the pork lion?
Friend: I’m sorry, the what?
Customer: The pork lion! *gestures to indicate a vaguely log shaped thing*
Friend: Oh! Pork loin?
Customer: Yes!!

Unfiltered Story #187651

, , | Unfiltered | February 28, 2020

I work at a store that sells a number of chicken products. A customer walks up while I am serving another and asks for two cappuccinos. I was sure I had misheard him, and as I’m fairly new there figure maybe he is a regular I haven’t met and that my boss might know what’s going on. So I direct him to my boss.

Customer: I need my two cappuccinos!
Boss: We sell chicken.
Customer: No, I just paid for my cappuccinos! I need them!
Boss (pointing at our display cabinet): But we don’t sell them, we sell chicken.

It took a few minutes for him to be convinced, even though there is nothing to suggest that we sell any kind of coffee. He walked off, and a few minutes later re-appeared at a table his partner had been waiting at with two cappuccinos in hand.

Happy Thanksglutton!

, , , , , , | Working | February 24, 2020

“You know, when I was younger, I thought of Thanksgiving as ‘the day we eat turkey.’ Then, I got this job and realized 99% of Americans eat turkey every g**d*** day of their lives. So, what’s so g**d*** special about Thanksgiving?”

“Thanking Jesus for making gluttony socially acceptable?”

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I’ll Have An Abomination Sandwich, Please

, , | Right | February 23, 2020

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m trying to order a sandwich. They have three types: beef, chicken, and vegetarian.)

Me: “One beef chicken, please.”

Deli Worker: “Uhm… sorry?”

Me: “One beef chicken.”

Deli Worker: “I’m sorry miss?”

Me: “One beef chicken, please.”

Deli Worker: “So beef or chicken?”

Me: “What?”

Deli Worker: *points at the selection, smiles*

Me: “Oh, my God, I’m such an idiot. One beef sandwich, please.”

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