Not Firmly Rooted In Reality
(I work at a “cut your own” Christmas tree farm.)
Customer: “Are these locally grown?”
This story is part of the Farmer roundup.
And…We’re Still Here (Happy New Year, Everyone!)
(A customer, more intent on small talk than shopping, wanders into the bakery.)
Customer: “So, you have a stove in your bakery?”
Me: “Yup.”
Customer: “I run a thrift store. We’re looking for stoves. I’m gonna need a stove when I move.”
Me: “Oh?”
Customer: “Yeah, I’m building a church up on the mountain for when the famine hits. People will need a place to go, y’know?”
Me: “Um… yeah… that’s a good idea.”
Customer: “Yeah. It’ll be a church and thrift shop. Gotta diversify. You should do more than just baking at your bakery.”
Me: “We’ll take that into consideration…”
Customer: “Yeah, I was talking to my boss. You know how everyone thinks the world will end in 2012? Well, my boss told me to change that to 2011 in the US!”
Me: “Oh.”
Customer: “Yeah, there’s going to be a huge famine and everyone is going to die!”
Me: “Well, thanks for the warning. Have a nice day!”
ADD: Acronym Defiling Dad
Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you sold some of that ‘Ahhhdorol’ or ‘Ridalaain’?”
Me: “No, those are prescription drugs. All we sell here is Advil and caffeine pills.”
Customer: “D*** it! My son has ADHD. You know… Attention Defiant Hyper Disorder?”
This story is part of our Wrong Names roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
23 Stories About Customers Who Were Dumber Than The Burgers They Ordered
Read the next Wrong Names roundup story!
Read the Wrong Names roundup!
The Sun Is A Slacker Abroad
Funny Stories, Math & Science, Retail, Stupid, Technology, Tourists/Travel, USA, Vermont |
Right
| September 12, 2010
Me: “Hi, ma’am. Is there anything I can help you find?”
Customer: “I am looking for a solar-powered charger for my cell phone. Do you have anything like that?”
Me: “Yep, just follow me.”
Customer: “Also, can you tell me which ones can work overseas?”
This story is part of the More Clueless Tourists roundup!
Read the next More Clueless Tourists roundup story!
Read the More Clueless Tourists roundup!
Tries To Put His Foot Down But Just Draws Blanks
Customer: “I need a card.”
Me: “Okay, what kind of card are you looking for?”
Customer: “It’s for my brother-in-law. He just had his foot amputated.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. We have ‘get well soon’ cards right here.”
Customer: “Well, he’s not really going to get better, is he?”
Me: “Well, we do have sympathy cards over there.”
Customer: “I don’t really like him.”
Me: “What about a blank card? You could write your own message?”
Customer: “You mean a card with nothing in it?”
Me: “Yes, that’s what blank cards are.”
Customer: “Well I’m not paying for that!” *leaves*
This story is part of the American States roundup!
