Getting An Edge About The Hedge

, , , , | Friendly | November 6, 2017

(Back when I was a kid, we moved into a fairly nice neighborhood. There wasn’t an actual home owner’s association, but several of the neighbors liked to act like there was, and tried to tell the other residents to change things about their homes and lawns. My mom is not the kind of person to put up with that sort of thing.)

Lady: *knocks on our front door*

Mom: *opens the door* “Hello?”

Lady: “Hi! I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing. I noticed that your bushes were getting rowdy, and I was worried you’d gone and moved out on us.”

Mom: *glances at the bushes, which aren’t perfectly trimmed, but aren’t super scraggly* “Oh, well, they look fine to me.”

Lady: “Yes, well… we just want to make sure our neighborhood looks its best.”

Mom: “Yes… Well, goodbye.” *goes to shut the door*

Lady: *sticks her foot in the door and actually pushes it open* “Ah, ah, so you will be trimming those bushes, right? And maybe invest in an edger to tidy up your lawn?”

(Mom didn’t say a word, just pulled the door open all the way, then started to swing it closed, hard. The lady jumped back as the door slammed in her face, then stood making faces on the porch for a minute or so while we kids watched from the window. Eventually, she huffed off down the front path. Unfortunately, she and the others kept coming back. The door continued to be slammed in their faces.)

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Not Firmly Rooted In Reality

, , , | Right | January 5, 2012

(I work at a “cut your own” Christmas tree farm.)

Customer: “Are these locally grown?”


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ADD: Acronym Defiling Dad

, , , , , | Right | October 21, 2010

Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you sold some of that ‘Ahhhdorol’ or ‘Ridalaain’?”

Me: “No, those are prescription drugs. All we sell here is Advil and caffeine pills.”

Customer: “D*** it! My son has ADHD. You know… Attention Defiant Hyper Disorder?”


This story is part of our Wrong Names roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Customers Who Were Dumber Than The Burgers They Ordered

 

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The Sun Is A Slacker Abroad

, , , , , | Right | September 12, 2010

Me: “Hi, ma’am. Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “I am looking for a solar-powered charger for my cell phone. Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “Yep, just follow me.”

Customer: “Also, can you tell me which ones can work overseas?”


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Tries To Put His Foot Down But Just Draws Blanks

, , , , , | Related Right | March 22, 2010

Customer: “I need a card.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of card are you looking for?”

Customer: “It’s for my brother-in-law. He just had his foot amputated.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. We have ‘get well soon’ cards right here.”

Customer: “Well, he’s not really going to get better, is he?”

Me: “Well, we do have sympathy cards over there.”

Customer: “I don’t really like him.”

Me: “What about a blank card? You could write your own message?”

Customer: “You mean a card with nothing in it?”

Me: “Yes, that’s what blank cards are.”

Customer: “Well I’m not paying for that!” *leaves*


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