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Eating At The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe

, , , , | Right | April 27, 2020

I’ve been coming to this seafood restaurant almost every day for lunch for a couple of weeks now and always bring a book with me as I get a very long lunch. This week said book just so happens to be “The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.” I’m waiting on my food and they usually call numbers. I’m the only one in the restaurant when I hear:)

Worker: “Ford Prefect, your food is ready!”

When I leave, I ring the bell that they have in this particular chain restaurant and call back:

Me: “So long and thanks for all the fish!”

Sick Burn, Dad!

, , , , , , , | Friendly | April 27, 2020

When I was a toddler, my family and I were on a camping trip. We decided to take our large, black dog, Camela, on a walk through the facility.

I had the leash because she was very gentle despite her size, and we passed another family on the road: a father and mother and their son. The mother led her family off the road and told my mother, “I can’t believe you let that thing near your son,” gesturing to Camela.

My dad looked her husband in the eye and said, “I can’t believe you let that thing near your son.”

The woman was outraged as her husband shamefully led his family down the road without a word.


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When You Have To Go… And Make A Scene

, , , , | Right | April 27, 2020

A mother and her young son come in to shop. She has picked out some clothes to buy, and as I am ringing her up, she continuously goes to exchange items and sizes, and decides she doesn’t want a few items.

I am chatting with her son because he seems a bit cranky, so I make him laugh while he is drinking his bottle of water to help out the mom get the clothes faster. This goes on for about fifteen minutes.

I am very gracious and continue to check prices for her, void items and add items onto her bill, and chat with her son about school. Then, as the receipt is printing, she says:

Customer: “Do you have a bathroom in the back? My son has to go.” 

I’ve only been working in retail for about a month, and I remember when being trained that my manager said our one bathroom is not a public bathroom.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, they are not public bathrooms, but the mall’s public bathroom is just two doors down to the left, a quick walk.”

She makes a joke about how he is just about to pee and I again inform her that the public bathrooms are “just two doors down.” She grabs her stuff and mumbles under her breath as she is walking out, glaring at me with a death stare.

Customer: “Some people are just so ignorant.”

I go over to my managers to inform them of the incident. Before a minute has passed, the lady is back, and she dumps almost $50 of clothes on the counter.

Customer: “I am going to return all of this stuff, and I want your name and corporate’s phone number!”  

Me: “You’re making a return? Let me just get my manager.”

As my manager is walking up to help this woman, she starts yelling at me.

Customer: “I am a customer here spending good money; you could have made an exception to let my son use your bathroom. I had to send him with his brother down to the other bathroom. That’s ridiculous! And I need your name and the phone number to report you, and I want to report you to your manager. This is completely unacceptable!”

My manager tries to cut in.

Manager: “[My Name] is still new and didn’t know that we could make an exception—”

Customer: “I am not talking to you; there is no excuse for being so ignorant! I am talking to her!”

She is making a huge scene at this point, and everyone is looking at me. I start to cry because I am just so embarrassed. When she leaves and I go to the back to calm down, another lady I have been helping tells my manager to tell me:

Other Customer: “I don’t know what that lady’s problem was or why she was so rude, but that young lady was so kind and helpful. I would like you to tell her that for me.” 

I guess for every awful customer there is a kind and thankful one.

The Problem Is Self-Made

, , , , , | Right | April 27, 2020

I speak to my next customer in the same cheerful, customer service voice I’ve been using all evening.

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you today?”

The customer rears back like I just swore at her.

Customer: “Um, okay. Are we going to have a problem?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Are we going to have a problem?”

Me: “No. What can I get for you?”

The customer leans forward over the counter.

Customer: “Are we going to have a problem?”

It has been a long day, there is a fairly long line, and I just feel done with this, so I just turn to look at the next customer.

Me: “I can help the next customer.”

After a moment, the next customer slowly walked up and ordered. The woman, meanwhile, looked startled and maybe a little upset that I was not playing along with whatever power play she was trying for.

After a few seconds, she turned and walked straight out. I never heard anything more about it, and I didn’t get in trouble, though I do feel a little bad for not helping her with whatever her issue was.

Dishwashing, Housekeeping, And Mindreading

, , , , | Working | April 27, 2020

(I’m a dishwasher because I enjoy cleaning. I prefer dishwashing over housekeeping because it’s a lot easier. I go and apply to a famous store and restaurant combo and get hired.)

Me: “So, when should I come back for training?”

Manager: “Oh, we’ll call you.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I wait and wait but no call. I don’t want to bug them and don’t want a stupid employer who forgot about me, so I figure they’ve changed their minds and I start looking somewhere else. A week later, someone calls.)

Restaurant: “Why aren’t you coming to work? Are you ill?”

Me: “No, I was waiting for a call. You said that you’d call.”

Restaurant: “No! You’re supposed to look at the online schedule!”

Me: “Sorry? No one told me of this! What is the website?”

(They told me. I hadn’t had any luck finding anywhere else, so I checked the website and went to work, and the manager looked very guilty. I guess she forgot to tell me about this online schedule!)