(A man about 50 came up to the counter and gave his order. While I am making this order, I over hear a conversation between him and my coworker. I am a 14 year old girl)
Man: It’s my birthday today, you know!
Coworker: How old you?
Man: 55! You can’t tell because I am from such good stock!
(akward laughter from coworkers)
Coworker: Our youngest worker her (me). She is 14.
Man: Oh, I shouldn’t be checking her out if she is only 14! Haha!
(everyone, including me stare in uncomfortable silence)

When I was a toddler, my family and I were on a camping trip. We decided to take our large, black dog, Camela, on a walk through the facility.

I had the leash because she was very gentle despite her size, and we passed another family on the road: a father and mother and their son. The mother led her family off the road and told my mother, “I can’t believe you let that thing near your son,” gesturing to Camela.

My dad looked her husband in the eye and said, “I can’t believe you let that thing near your son.”

The woman was outraged as her husband shamefully led his family down the road without a word.

(I was walking past the tablecloths and an older lady was rummaging through our clearance bins.)
me: Can I help you find a particular size?
her: Oh, yes.
me: how many people does your table sit?
her: six
me: okay, and what does it look like? Is it square? Rectangle…
her: round
me: is it a circle, or an oval?
her: it’s round.
(I flip over one of the packages and point to the sizing chart complete with pictures of different table shapes)
me: does it look like this? (points to circle) or this? (points to oval)
her: oh, that one. (points to oval)
me: okay, then you need an oblong tablecloth.
her: but it’s round.
me: Round is for tables that are a perfect circle. Oblong will be what fits your table if it’s an oval.
her: but it’s round.
(takes a breath)
me: I know that the ends are rounded, but one side is longer than the other right?
her: (nods)
me: Okay, then you need an oblong.
her: but it’s round!
(this went on for fifteen minutes before she walked away with the right tablecloth. Sadly not the first time it’s happened.)

I was working the night shift at a hotel with an attached restaurant in downtown Ketchikan. Part of my duties included setting up the continental breakfast bar. Around 0100, after the cleaners finished and left, I went through the restaurant for the breakfast supplies. I had my back turned to the door between the restaurant and the hotel when I heard a shuffling noise. Since the lights were off in the hotel (I had good night-vision), I turned to see a silhouette of a rotund man wandering in through the door.
Me: Can I help you, sir?
Man: “Dreeee?”
Me: Um, what?
Man: “Dreeeeee?” (At this point I could tell that the individual was drooling like a running faucet)
Me: Ohhh, you want a DRINK?
Man: *Nods vigorously* Yuh.
Me: I’m sorry, but the bar is closed. I can’t help you.
Man: *Looking downcast* Aw. ‘Kay.
The man shuffled out, and I assumed he had left, so I continued setup. The bell at the hotel desk dinged. I walked in and there he was, creating a nice little drool-puddle on my recently-cleaned desk.
To save time, the short ending is: I eventually got him settled on the bench while I called the police to come help the gentleman. It had turned out that he was… mentally handicapped, and living in an assisted-living home a couple miles away. He’d decided to (allegedly) take someone else’s paycheck and have himself a night on the town. The police department had been hunting him all night.

(We are cruising through the fjords of Alaska as I am doing “deck blitz” duty. It entails the staff striking up friendly conversation with passengers enjoying the decks. A fjord is a long, narrow, deep inlet of the sea between high cliffs and when cruising through, it indeed LOOKS like you are up in the mountains, but I’m still surprised that this conversation went past my answer to the following question.)

Lady #1: “What elevation are we at?”

Me: “Sea level — well, nine decks above sea level.”

Lady #1: “How many feet is that?”

Me: “I don’t know exactly. About 150 feet or so.”

Lady #2: *indignantly* “You’re wrong. You’d think the staff would listen to the announcements. We heard the captain announce that we were several thousand feet up. Can’t you see the mountain tops right there?! We just wanted the exact figure.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I must have missed that. Let me inquire and I will get back to you. Excuse me.”

(I avoided them for the remainder of the voyage.)