We’re Going To Need A Bigger Boat

, , | Right | December 16, 2019

(We are cruising through the fjords of Alaska as I am doing “deck blitz” duty. It entails the staff striking up friendly conversation with passengers enjoying the decks. A fjord is a long, narrow, deep inlet of the sea between high cliffs and when cruising through, it indeed LOOKS like you are up in the mountains, but I’m still surprised that this conversation went past my answer to the following question.)

Lady #1: “What elevation are we at?”

Me: “Sea level — well, nine decks above sea level.”

Lady #1: “How many feet is that?”

Me: “I don’t know exactly. About 150 feet or so.”

Lady #2: *indignantly* “You’re wrong. You’d think the staff would listen to the announcements. We heard the captain announce that we were several thousand feet up. Can’t you see the mountain tops right there?! We just wanted the exact figure.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I must have missed that. Let me inquire and I will get back to you. Excuse me.”

(I avoided them for the remainder of the voyage.)

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Unfiltered Story #177142

, , , | Unfiltered | November 11, 2019

While working in a children’s museum I was put in charge of shows in our little planetarium. During the shows I would take patrons (mostly children) into the dome, show them constellations, and tell them stories. The show was quite popular and involved a lot of stories told in a humorous vein.

One day a woman, a well-known politician in Alaska (not Sarah Palin, however!), came in to the show. She was very nice before the show, but as I started telling the stories she would repeat everything I said on about a two-second delay in a loud voice, word for word. I could not say anything without her echoing me.

It totally threw me off stride and disrupted the show, but despite my obvious confusion and the annoyance of the other patrons, she continued to repeat everything for the rest of the show. Other patrons even asked her to stop, but to no avail.

Although I felt the show was ruined and a total waste, other patrons came up afterwards to compliment me on how well I handled the situation and that I never lost my cool. So I guess her disruptive behavior worked to my advantage.

Unfiltered Story #158349

, , , | Unfiltered | July 20, 2019

(This is my second month working at a large coffee chain, and its a rather slow night when we have someone pull into the drive-thru.)

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop] my name is [my name] what can I get for you this evening?”
Customer: “I want a Red Bull.”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t carry that drink. Can i offer you something else?”
Customer: “No. I want a Red Bull. I know you guys sell them, I come through this drive-thru everyday.”
(At this point my manager has walked out of the back room with her own headset on, listening.)
Me: “I’m very sorry sir, but we have never sold Red Bull, we do however have [company drink] which is also an energy drink, and comes in different flavors.”
(At this point I’m not sure what else I can do and my manager takes over the order for me.)
Manager: “Sir, I have worked here for 9 years and we have never sold that drink. I assure you [my name] is not lying to you. I will gladly make you any other drink you would like.”
(After roughly 5 minutes she finally has hi convinced we don’t carry red bull, and he orders a different drink and pulls up to the window.)
Me: “Alright sir, that will be $3.75. (He hands me his card and I run it but it comes up declined.) “I’m very sorry sir, but it says your card has been declined. Do you have another form of payment?”
Customer: “NO! I don’t have another form of payment, and there’s no way my card declined! I used it to buy a red bull here yesterday!”
(I call for my manager and she attempts to calm the man and offers him the drink on the house hoping to get him to leave. The customer takes the drink from her hand and dumps it on the ground between them and drives off.)
Me: “Has he ever been here before?”
Manager: “Never.”

Unfiltered Story #158307

, , | Unfiltered | July 16, 2019

(I work at a gas station part time or at least at the time I did. A lot of the customers would come in buying tobacco products so we had a whole wall Behind the register dedicated to it. I don’t smoke so im not too familiar with the brands. I had only worked there for 2 months and unfortunately i have this habit of turning into a statute instead of fight or flight. please note we do not exchange or refund tobacco products the second it goes out the door!)

Customer: I need one [cigarette brand and Flavor] please.

Me: Sure just a sec. *I find the pack and show it to her putting it in full view if I was any closer my hand would have been inside of her head.* Is this what you asked for?

Customer: Yes *looks up form her purse and goes back to getting her wallet form her purse*

(I rang up the cigarettes give her the change and she leaves, out the door in full camera view with them. about 30 minutes later she returns. takes me about half a second to recognize her. )

Customer: these are not the ones i asked for can i exchange them.

Me Im sorry mam we cant do exchanges or refunds if you leave with the product.


(my coworkers excellent hearing picks up this old lady’s raise in volume and steps in knowing at this point i froze up and am literally unable to respond mean wile the old lady is still yelling at me and accusing me of stealing her money witch is not helping my situation at all. my coworker explained to her that she saw the transaction and that she had confirmed i gave here the correct pack . The old lady just turned up her nose and left in an angry huff. we never saw her a gain after that.)

Unfiltered Story #157530

, , | Unfiltered | July 10, 2019

(I’ve been helping an older couple around the store for a good forty minutes, taking them section to section for all the items they need.)

Me: Is there anything else I can help you find?
The Wife: Oh, no! You’ve been great… What’s your name?
The Husband: Well, it’s JoAnn of course! That’s a prerequisite for working here, right?
Me: *looks at the camera like I’m in The Office*