Customer: “Do you have [item] in stock?”

Me: “Yes, we actually do! I can go to the back to get it for you.”

Customer: “Will you have to order it for me? I need it quickly.”

Me: “No need, ma’am; it’s in the back of this very store. I can go collect it for you immediately.”

Customer: “Can you do it quicker?”

Me: “Quicker than immediately?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What would that look like, ma’am?”

Customer: “Like… quicker?”

Me: “I will aim to be quicker, ma’am.”

I know exactly where the item is — it was only stocked this morning — so within thirty seconds, I have the item in front of the customer.

Me: “I hope that was quick enough, ma’am.”

Customer: “Maybe good enough for a three-star review on Yelp, but not quick enough for a five.”

Yup, I checked. She scored us three stars for “slow service”.

I am currently at an unemployment office (Alfakassan in Sweden) to obtain a referral for a job I have lined up. Part of my application requires a full background check of three years, two of which can easily be filled with a reference from Alfakassan.

It’s important to note that before turning up, I corresponded with my former work coach and asked for this meeting, which they then approved, and they told me that they had all the relevant paperwork for my reference ready. Happy days! Or so I thought.

I turn up to the office at 1:40 pm and talk to the receptionist.

Me: “Hello. I have a meeting with [Work Coach] at 2:00 pm.”

Receptionist #1: “Okay, can I have your personal number?”

Me: “It’s [personal number].”

Receptionist #1: “It says on my computer that you stopped applying for unemployment since you were starting a new job.”

Me: “Yes, that’s why I’m here. I arranged a meeting with [Work Coach] to obtain a reference.”

Receptionist #1: “Oh, for that, you will need to fill out this form, then.”

She hands me a form before bluntly answering a phone at her desk, practically ushering me away to complete the form. Bear in mind that this is during the health crisis, so a lot of people are applying for unemployment. Most unemployment offices close at 6:00 pm, and the queue for the reception already wraps around the building. I decide to take the form, grab a coffee and a bun, and fill it out before rejoining the queue.

Forty minutes of queuing later, I finally get my turn at the reception, only this time there’s another person there. By the way, it’s now well past my meeting time with [Work Coach]. I have emailed them about the form and waiting in line, but they have so far not responded.

Me: “Hi. I was told I need to fill out this form, and I was meant to meet with [Work Coach] at 2:00 pm, but—”

Receptionist #2: “If you are late for your meeting, you will need to rebook for your unemployment.”

Me: *Starting to get a little bit agitated* “I’m not here for unemployment. I’m here for a reference, which was already agreed on between me and [Work Coach].”

Receptionist #2: “Oh. Have you filled out [exact same form I just mentioned I have already filled out]?”

Me: “Yes, it’s right here.”

Receptionist #2: “Okay, I will get in touch with [Work Coach], but you are in for a wait; they are going to be busy with other claimants. Next time arrive on time, okay?”

I let the last comment go and take a seat. The hours drag on.

And on.

And on.

At 5:20 pm, they start cutting the queue down to the immediate next ten claimants, as they will not be able to help anyone else that day. Since nobody has come to see me yet, I march over to the reception.

Me: “I’m sorry, I’ve been waiting in that seat for the last four hours to meet with [Work Coach] for a reference. What is going on?”

Receptionist #1: “Have you got an appointment?”

I am trying SO HARD not to raise my voice.

Me: “I did — at 2:00 pm. But I had to unexpectedly fill out this form you gave me for it!”

Receptionist #1: “Wait, you said you’re here for a reference?”

F****** SERIOUSLY?!

Me: “…Yes!”

She pulls a stack of paper from a small pile to her left and hands it to me.

Receptionist #1: “You could have just said that when you arrived.”

I wordlessly took the reference and stormed the f*** out of there. Over four hours wasted over nothing. No wonder people lie about their referrals.

I work in retail, and at our shop, we have a click-and-collect system. This is a system where you order online and then come to pick up your items.

Customer: “I’m here for my click-and-collect order. I have the email for it on my phone.”

I look at his phone as he holds it out.

Me: “Sir, this email is from three years ago.”

Customer: “I must have forgotten to pick it up! None of my employees can find this stuff.”

Me: “Well… we definitely don’t have a click-and-collect order sitting here from three years ago.”

Customer: “I’ll just leave you with all the information on it, and I’ll call the store back in a few hours.”

I look through our system and find that someone picked up the order a month after it was made. When he calls back, I tell him this.

Customer: “Hmm… I’ll chase it up on my end, I guess.”

This happened within the first fifteen minutes of opening the shop, and it set the tone for the rest of the day, but that was the one interaction that I can’t forget.

I was born on the 11th of September, 2001. I’m English, so it’s never been a particularly evocative fact, and I’ve only ever met one person who was personally affected by the tragedy. When I was ten, I was in an afterschool club and overheard two teachers talking.

Teacher #1: “How long ago was 9/11 now?”

Teacher #2: “At least a decade, I think. I can’t remember exactly what year it was now.”

Teacher #1: “Surely not. I thought it was about five years.”

Me: “It was ten years ago — eleven in a few months.”

Teacher #1: *Scoffing* “How would you know? You’d barely remember.”

Me: “Because that’s my birthday, and I’m ten, so it has to be ten years.”

Teacher #1: “I really don’t think you’d know. It’s been five years.”

Me: “…but I’m not five.”

Teacher #1: “What’s that got to do with anything?”

Me: “…because 11th September 2001 is my birthday?”

Teacher #2: “…and it’s now April 2012?”

Teacher #1: “I think you’re both wrong. The maximum I would say is six.”

Teacher #2: “…Years aren’t subjective, [Teacher #1].”

Teacher #1: “How would she know what happened on her birthday?”

Teacher #2: “I assume because her parents mentioned it?”

Teacher #1: “Well, I think you’re wrong, and you shouldn’t lie for attention.”

With that, she flounced off. I looked at [Teacher #2], utterly baffled.

Teacher #2: “Don’t worry. I know you’re not making it up. Take this as proof that adults can be as wrong as anyone else.”

[Teacher #1] was nasty to me for the rest of the school year. I still can’t wrap my head around what her train of thought was.

I work in a restaurant, and I am hosting. My restaurant pretty much always gets up to an hour wait by 8:00 pm, almost every day. A lady walks up at 8:10.

Lady: “Table for three, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are already on an hour and a half wait, and we close at nine, so we won’t be able to take any more names on the list.”

Lady: “I see an open table outside. Can we just sit there?”

Me: *Giving her a look* “Well, no. I have ten names on this list before you, and that table is one of theirs.”

Lady: “This wait is unacceptable!”

She scoffed away.

Ten minutes later, I saw another table outside get up, and lo and behold, that lady immediately stepped over our barriers for outside dining and sat down at the completely dirty table. I just shook my head and told my servers that she was on the bottom of the list and to ignore her, which they did.

She sat for twenty minutes at a dirty table trying to get servers’ attention before finally giving up.

Surprisingly, she didn’t try and make‍ a scene. I can thank her for that, I guess.