Impossible To Bring Them Up-To-Date

, , , | Healthy | February 23, 2018

(I work at a disability law office and part of my job is to send out requests for medical records for our clients. We routinely get calls from the records departments of the doctors and hospitals we deal with, saying they don’t have the records requested. My favorite, though, is one from a clinic down the road whose record keeper has worked there for over five years. This conversation leaves me stunned to this day.)

Employee: “Hi, this is [Employee] from [Clinic], calling about the medical request you guys sent us. It says here you’re needing records from May 6th, 2016 to present date. What is present date?”

Me: “Um, present date would be now. Today.”

Employee: “Oh. Well, we don’t have any records for May 6th.”

Me: “Okay. What about after that? The client said she had been there three times since we last requested records. Was she there June 4th?”

Employee: “Let me check. Yeah, she was here.”

Me: “Okay, what about August 12th and September 17th?”

Employee: “Yeah, we have records for those days, but we don’t have any for May 6th.”

Me: “That’s fine. We just need any records that are there between May 6th and now.”

Employee: “But there aren’t any records for May 6th. She wasn’t here that day. There’s no records I can give you.”

Me: “No. Look: she was there on May 5th, okay? That’s the last date of service we got here in our records. So, we are sending for records from the day after May 5th, which is May 6th, all the way up to now. We need any records the doctor put in there within that time frame. It doesn’t have to be on May 6th, just anything after that time that’s there, okay?”

Records: “Okay… She wasn’t here after May 6th, though.”

Me: “You just told me that she was there in June, August, and September!”

Records: “Yeah, she was here on those days.”

Me: “Then, clearly, I need those records, since they are all after May 6th!”

Records: “Oh. Oh! You need all the records between the dates of May 6th and today?”

Me: “Yes, that is what I need!”

Records: “Okay, I’ll have them done today and brought over to you.”

(It took her another month to get us the records, and the clinic is right down the road.)

Need To Keep Watch On This One

, , , , , | Right | February 20, 2018

(I’m an assistant manager at a well-known retailer for young girls. It’s back-to-school time, which generally attracts some less-than-stellar customers. A woman in her 40s or 50s approaches me at the cash register, holding a watch we sell.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Is this a watch?”

Me: *confused* “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Customer: “But is it, like, a real watch?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is a real watch.”

Customer: “So, it works? Like, it tells time and everything?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It’s a watch. It tells time. Like a clock, but smaller.”

Customer: “Okay! Thank you!”

Me: *turns to an associate* “Did that just happen?”

A Unique Closet Case

, , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(There is a big wedding that takes the majority of our 56-room base facility. As check-in for wedding party is a success, I receive a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]! This is [My Name].”

Guest: “Hey, this room 318. I just checked in, and your closet is way too small. What do you plan on doing about this?”

Me: “May I put you on hold for a second?”

(I put him on hold because I literally do not know what to say. I pick up the phone again.)

Me: “Well, sir, you can use one of our rollaway carts or our employee closet.”

Guest: “Well, how is that going to help me when I am up here?”

Me: “I do not know, sir. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Guest: *hangs up*

(I tell manager about the event that just occurred.)

Manager: “Well, what did he want us to do? Build a closet real quick?”

They All Jumped Over The Moon

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(I work in a pet store that sells fish, small animals, birds, and reptiles, as well as supplies for the animals. One day I answer a call to our store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you sell cows?”

Me: *long pause* “No, ma’am. We do not sell cows.”

Unfiltered Story #105498

, , , , , , | Unfiltered | February 15, 2018

One year, me and my friends decide to go to an anime convention for the new year in Austin. We ended up booking tickets with a cheap bus company, and would soon grow to regret it. Though there was a bus station from our home city, arriving in Austin would present us with the company’s ‘station’ there; Namely a completely empty lot, several miles away from our hotel. It wasn’t so bad, except the walk convinced us to call a taxi for when we decided to return.

The day that the convention ended, and that we were supposed to take the bus home, we checked out of our hotel and began to enjoy the last day. A few hours before our bus was supposed to leave, I call a taxi to arrive at our hotel at a specific time. Nothing seems out of the ordinary…until the taxi arrives well over an hour before it was supposed to.

Not wanting to be standing in an empty lot, in the middle of Austin, I asked the taxi to come back in an hour. An hour passes… and the taxi never returned. It becomes a mad dash to find another way there, especially now that it was too late to call another taxi. We managed to find one of our friends from our hometown, who had driven and, therefore, had a car available. They drove us to the lot where the bus was supposed to be, with a good 5-10 minutes to spare, only to find that the bus HAD ALREADY LEFT.

Me and my friends were now stranded in Austin, with no hotel room, and the soonest bus from another company leaving early the next morning. (At this point it was only ten at night.) Two of the four of us decided to camp out at the bus station (an actual station), in order to catch the earliest possible bus. The friend who had given us a ride offered to let us stay in their room for the night, since they weren’t going to check out until the next day, and would drive us to the station in the morning.

Thankfully we were able to get home safely, without any other incidents. But that cheap bus company has most certainly made it where I’m never going to use it again!

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