If That Bothers Him, Wait Until He Hears What It Means For The Gays!

, , , , , , | Learning | September 29, 2019

(I am five or six years old and attending Sunday school. We are outside after a brief rain, being supervised by a husband and wife.)

Male Supervisor: *pointing at a rainbow in the distance* “So, kids, does anyone know what a rainbow is?”

(I excitedly raise my hand to answer, as I have just learned this from a science-themed kids show.)

Me: “A rainbow is caused by extra water in the air from the rain that makes a prism which refracts the sunlight!”

(The husband and wife make disgusted faces and share a look, before turning back to me.)

Male Supervisor: “No, a rainbow is God’s promise to never flood the earth again.”

Me: “Oh…”

(It wouldn’t have been so bad, except they decided to punish me, as well. I was made to stand in the corner for fifteen minutes for “spreading wrong thoughts.” I consider this my first push towards atheism.)

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Unfiltered Story #168416

, , | Unfiltered | September 28, 2019

(I work at an apartment complex and we have people come in frequently for tours. A woman and her daughter come to take a tour with a younger sibling and baby.)

Me: I would be happy to take you on a tour. Our model home is a 3 bedroom unit but will have features very similar to the 2 bedroom you were interested in. ( I take them out and show them our model home and proceed to bring them back to our office to answer any last minute questions.)
Me: That’s about it. Do you have any questions?
Customer: So can I see the 2 bedroom?
Me: No ma’am, we don’t have any of those to show and we only have one model home. There are people occupying the other spaces.
Customer: Well I don’t want to pay for it if I can’t see if first.
Me: I understand ma’am, but unfortunately, I cannot show you space since there is someone currently living in all of our spaces of that style.
Customer: Obviously flustered* Ok, well how much is it again?
Me: $635 per bedroom.
Customer: That’s it?! I can definitely do that. For the whole thing?
Me: No, per bedroom. So $635 each room or $1270 a month for the whole unit.
Customer: So $635 is all?
Me:………. $635 per bedroom and 2 bedrooms so $1270 a month.
Customer: Well can I see a 2 bedroom?
Me: ……..

Unfiltered Story #168378

, , | Unfiltered | September 26, 2019

(I work at a customer service center for this store, basically people call in when they want help ordering stuff.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling *store name* how may I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi! I was just transferred from card services because I was having trouble getting to your website and they told me that it might have something with the Windows program I have and I was trying to order some things.”

(At this point I was getting ready to ask for her information because I assumed she was going to ask for help. She continues, however.)

Customer: “I have Windows 10. Would that be the reason I cant bring up your website?”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, I’m sorry but I cant really say because I’m not an expert with the Windows program. But would you like me to help you with that order?”

Customer: “Ugh, you all are useless!” *she hangs up the call*

Please Tell Me Your Code!  

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2019

(I am in line during the middle of the lunch rush during summer so it is crazy busy; the line is all the way to the door. Right after I get in, a guy with a boy about five years old comes in.)

Kid: “I’m gonna go get the salt so we can get hot fries.”

(The guy nods and the kid walks off to the condiment stand.)

Me: *knowing what he is about to do and knowing how much the staff here is going to hate that* “You know there is an easier way than ordering with no salt, right?”

Guy: “What? I’ve been ordering that way for years now and I always get them fresh and hot; ain’t no other way to do it.”

Me: “Yes, there is. Trust me; I used to work fast food. There is a code you use to let the staff know you are a former fast food worker and they always give you freshly salted fries.”

Guy: “Really?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, super-secret, but if you listen in while I order, you’ll hear it. Sometimes you have to wait a few minutes, but you have to wait for the no-salt ones all the time, right?”

Guy: “Yeah, we do, and then the salt don’t taste right.”

(The kid returns and the man tells him that they are about to learn an insider trick to getting fresh fries, with the salt already on them. The kid gets really happy and keeps asking, “Really? Really?” So, by the time I next in line, at least a dozen people are watching and listening to hear the “secret code.”)

Me: *to cashier* “I’ll have an [order], and I’d like fresh fries, please; I don’t mind if I have to wait.”

Cashier: *smiling hugely* “Of course you can. That’ll be [price]. Your number is 42. We’ll call you when the fries are ready.”

Guy: “Wait, I missed it. What was the secret code?”

Me: “Asking for them and saying, ‘please.’”

(Several other people in line started snickering and I’m pretty sure I got extra fries with my order that day.)

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Wouldn’t Believe It If It Wasn’t On Camera!

, , , , , , | Legal | September 25, 2019

(I manage a small art supply store in a college town. One day early in the semester, a young man comes in and asks for help in putting together a set of oil painting supplies as cheaply as possible. I go around the store with him for several minutes, adding things to his basket.)

Customer: *asking out of the blue* “Do you have security cameras?”

(I look around at the many “You’re on camera!” signs around the store, figuring he must be joking.)

Me: *chirpy voice* “That would be telling!”

Customer: “Oh.”

(He set down the basket and left the store. Nice to know some thieves are easily discouraged!)

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