Remodeling Your Expectations

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2019

(The store is doing remodeling from a basic grocery store to a more all-in-one store, and as a result, they have additional workers, aisles or even whole categories moved to a different location, roped-off and plastic-covered areas, and other frustrations. I have just gotten off work and my mom tells me she needs me to pick up a few things she forgot when she went shopping. Due to the store having changed everything, she is on the phone with me, walking me through to where she remembered items being a few days ago.)

Mom: “The next aisle should have [items].”

(I leave the current aisle, about to make a u-turn into the next aisle, when I see that they have blocked off the area with some plastic from the roof to the floor and that what sign was there has been ripped off. I don’t tell her this until I see that the next available aisle has items that in no way match the items she told me.)

Me: “Crap, they moved it.”

Mom: “Well, f***. Try to see if you can find them or somebody wearing the construction orange shirts that might be able to help you. Until then…”

(She keeps guiding me and, for the most part, the items are either in the area, or she’s close enough that I find them within an aisle of where she remembers them being. However, I have yet to find the items from the moved aisle until I finally approach one of the employees.)

Me: “Do you know where [items] are?”

Employee: “Yes, they are—“

(Sadly, I forget I had the phone to my ear and the employee is drowned out by my mom.)

Mom: “Why are you asking me? You just told me they were moved!”

(Realizing I’m dealing with both the phone and an employee at the same time, I release a sheepish chuckle. I’m performing my own pet peeve, so decide to hang up.)

Me: “Hang on. I found one of the guides; I’ll call you back.”

(As I’m hanging up, the guy looks somewhat shocked, and visibly braces for something.)

Me: “Yeah, can you show me where you moved [items], please? My mom, who I was talking to, was leading me around, but you must have moved them in the last few days.”

Employee: “Oh, yes! They are [directions]. Would you like for me to show you?”

Me: “That’s fine, but I’m sure they’d prefer you to stay in your area so that others can find you. But is something wrong?”

Employee: “No, I’m just shocked you got off the phone and actually asked, as opposed to yelling at me.”

(As I hear him say that last part, I cringe before shaking my head.)

Me: “Yeah, I can only picture it, as I passed by another guide that was getting the tenth-degree including every combo curse in the book.”

Employee: “If only it was that, but there’s been more than a few threats to stop the remodel or boycott the store.”

Me: “I worked at [Other Grocery Store] when they were doing their remodeling, so…”

(The employee gives me the “YES! SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS!” look before taking me to the item despite my protests.)

Employee: “Here you go — [items]. But can I see that [most expensive item in my cart] first?”

Me: “Umm, sure?”

(The employee placed a clearance sticker on the top of the item reading “25% off, valued customer” before handing it back and thanking me before leaving me completely shocked.)

A Sample Of Why I No Longer Work In A Restaurant

, , , , , | Right | March 4, 2019

(I work at a restaurant where we have three margarita machines. We have thirteen-ounce glasses as well as three-ounce sample cups that we sometimes fill with an ounce or so to let people try the margaritas. This customer comes up and asks for a sample of both the regular and the strawberry. A month or more before this, she asked for the same thing and asked me to fill the sample cups all the way to the top for each one. I have forgotten about this customer since then, so this day, I do the same thing I always do — and to every single other customer ever — and I give her a standard one- to one-and-a-half-ounce sample of each one. What does she do? As I place them down in front of her, she brushes them off to the side of the counter with a sweep of her arm and walks off. Ten minutes later, I get in trouble with my manager for being “rude” to this customer. Cut to a year later, and even though the manager who talked to her — and apparently was friends with her — works at another restaurant, I still have to give this lady three-ounce samples when she comes in. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue, but it does irk me that she not only gets these two samples, but she asks her server for two more samples after that, sometimes more! Doing the math, that is four samples consisting of three ounces each, making it twelve ounces, which is basically a free margarita. The purpose of the samples is so you can decide if you want to BUY one, yet she buys maybe ONE a month, and this woman comes in three times a week or more! She is also, reportedly, a horrible tipper. On top of that, she gets people in trouble and makes racist comments.)

Customer: “Are you going to give me my samples today?”

Me: “Yes, no problem.” *makes them* “Here you go.”

Customer: “Are you going to be nice to me today?”

(I can’t think of anything nice to say, so I just smile at the woman.)

Customer: *huffs* “That’s what I thought.”

(She walks away and I then rip her head off in my mind.)

Self Checkout Fallout

, , , , , | Right | March 3, 2019

(I am currently manning the self-check when a customer comes up with two fifty-gallon storage totes FILLED to the brim with assorted meats, produce, and the like. This raises a flag, so I instantly use the “head register” to try to flag down a manager while keeping an eye on her screen as best as I can. In addition, I approach her, trying to our “passive-aggressive” tactics to try to stall them as long as I can.)

Me: “Excuse me. Would you like some help with these tubs?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay. I got it under control; I use these all the time since your manned registers are so long.”

(Normally I would agree with the customer, as it seems like when we have half the store filled with customers we only have a few cashiers. However, in this case, it is the opposite; we have WAY too many cashiers when there are maybe a few customers an hour going through the registers. This, of course, raises another flag, so I go back to the head register and ping the manager again.)

Monitor Station: “Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid, Ramen, Ramen, Ramen…”

(I’m sure you get the picture and, even while assisting other customers that trickle my way, I see her doing SCO trickery.)

Customer: *as I’m walking past her* “These pickle-pops are just wonderful, aren’t they?”

Me: *trying to feign obliviousness* “Yeah, they are wonderful, but I just use the leftover juices in my ice cube trays.”

(Once again, I head back trying to get a manager again… still no luck. Suddenly, the customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Uh… I, umm… forgot my wallet in the car. Can you hold my items for me, please?”

(I glance at her screen and see what I expected to see: she wants to void the whole transaction. At this point, I know I cannot keep her in the store, but at least the store gets a minor victory and she leaves without being able to complete the scam.)

Me: “Sure…” *thinking: please, manager, hurry up and get here… NOW*

(As she was trying to leave, I really started to pound the h*** out of the code to get the manager over there, doing my best to “forget” how to run it. However, she did start to leave, and maybe a minute after she did so, the manager came over and I explained what had happened. I later learned that while she did get away, the LP team got her face on the video and she was turned into the police and HQ. The total potential loss: almost half a grand! At least I got recognized for the situation and got a store gift card for roughly 10% of the would-be scammed items.)

Be Careful Driving In Margaritaville

, , , , , | Right | March 3, 2019

(A customer is making an order at our restaurant. At the end, he says:)

Customer: “Can I get a regular and a strawberry margarita?”

Me: “Sure.” *writes it down on his ticket* “Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “No, and I want it to go.”

Me: “All right, and your name?”

(He gives his name.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll make your margaritas, and then you can have a seat while they start on your order. Can I see your ID?”

(He shows it.)

Me: “And who’s the other margarita for?”

Customer: “My wife.”

Me: “All right, I might need to see her ID, as well.”

Customer: “She’s at the house.”

Me: “Oh. Is she on her way?”

Customer: “No, I’m bringing the margaritas to go.”

(I’ve had a lot of people get drinks while they wait for a to-go order, but usually they don’t order one for someone who isn’t there, you see. They’re smarter than that.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t make margaritas to go.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I can’t make alcoholic drinks to go.”

Customer: “Oh… Why not?”

Me: “Because you can’t drink and drive? And then we could be held liable.”

Customer: “Oh. Never mind, then.” *leaves the store*


That’s Not How Not Working Works

, , , , | Healthy | March 3, 2019

(I work at a multi-doctor cardiology office as a receptionist. This story comes directly from my coworker, who sits beside my station.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Clinic]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I have a return-to-work form that needs to be filled out. Can your doctor get it done for me today?”

Coworker: “Which doctor do you see at our office?”

Caller: “I don’t see anyone up there.”

Coworker: “You would have to be a patient up here for any of the doctors to fill out.”

Caller: “So, they can’t fill it out for me?”

Coworker: “No, you’re not a patient here. They wouldn’t know if you can return to work or not.”

Caller: “Well, can I see one of the doctors today?”

Coworker: “They wouldn’t be able to see you today, no. What do you need the signature for, anyway?”

Caller: “I hurt my leg.”

Coworker: “I don’t think a cardiologist can sign on a leg injury unless it’s vein related. You may need your primary doctor to sign it.”Caller: “I don’t have a doctor. I just wanted someone to sign my letter so I don’t have to work.”

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