Giving Direction, Sans The Right San

, , , , , | Right | November 25, 2017

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I need directions to your hotel! I am lost!”

Me: “Ma’am, do you know where you are at this moment? On a specific highway? Do you see any signs?”

Caller: *starts telling me street names and buildings she’s passing*

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry; I don’t know where that is. You need to go onto I-35 North, toward Austin.”

Caller: *gets frustrated* “You are horrible at giving directions. How are you working at a hotel and can’t even give me directions to your location!?”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I don’t recognize any street names you’re naming. San Antonio is pretty big.”

(After about fifteen minutes of me trying to tell her which general direction to go and her getting frustrated with me:)

Caller: “Ugh, I’m never coming to San Diego again!”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re calling me in San Antonio. I don’t know directions in San Diego.”

The Final Reset

, , , , , , | Related | November 25, 2017

My parents live in an area which has frequent blackouts. They are so technophobic and techno-ignorant that they don’t know how to reset the clocks on any of the electronics in their house. Each time the power was restored after a blackout, they would call my son to go over and reset everything.

When this first began, our son was just beginning high school and got a little kick out of it.

It wasn’t as fun for him when he moved an hour away to attend college, but he did the task for them without complaining.

However, when he graduated and was living and working half a state away that chore got old quickly.

After a very bad storm, my husband and I drove to my parents’ to fix some damage. A few hours later, we were taking a break and chatting when we heard the front door open.

It was our son. My parents had called him to reset the clocks even though they knew my husband and I would be there!

Without saying a word, our son walked through the room to the stereo, covered the flashing lights with electrical tape, turned, and left.

That was the last time my parents asked him to make a special trip to reset the clocks.

Unfiltered Story #100612

, | Unfiltered | November 25, 2017

(The dentist’s assistant has treated me like a child the whole time because I said I have a needle phobia. Important note: I am in therapy for this, and the coping mechanism I learned was to steel myself for it, to watch it. I know most nurses think that it’s better not to watch, but I got the phobia by a bunch of medical students practicing on me at age 10 and not letting me say no or have any control over the situation at all. They practiced until my parents came in and threatened them. Since then, I have needed to prepare and watch.)
Assistant: So we’re going to give you some numbing, okay sweetie?
Me: Okay. Just tell me when you’re using the needle. I need to know.
Assistant: Of course, honey. Now I’m just going to make sure your teeth are squeaky clean for the procedure.
(She starts using different tools, and I let my mind wander…until I feel a needle pierce my gums. I jump.)
Me: *mumbling because of her hand* Hey! I told you to tell me!
Assistant: Tell you what, sweetie?
Me: When you used the needle!
Assistant: There’s no needle, silly!
(I push my tongue against the side. I can also feel it on my lips. This is freaking me out worse than if she had told me.)
Me: Uh-huh!
Assistant: Stop being ridiculous! *finishes the injection, pulls out the needle* There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
(I am having flashbacks so I can’t even respond at this point. I get up and run into the bathroom, barricading the door. The dental assistant acts confused and surprised and asks me what’s wrong. I don’t answer her. The dentist ended up rescheduling my appointment, but brushed it off when I told him what she did. I didn’t let her touch me again.)

A Bird-Brained Request

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(A gentleman storms in angrily through the door.)

Guest: “I am furious! I parked my car under the tree and birds s*** all over it!”

(I almost start laughing but I realize he is serious.)

Me: “I am so sorry, sir.”

Him: “You need to put signs on the trees warning about the birds pooping on cars.”

Me: “Sir, you want us to put signs on every tree warning not to park there because there are pooping birds in the trees?”

Some Of Your Clients Are Ice Cold

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I take incoming calls at my office and direct them as needed. There are times I will take my lunch at the desk and answer calls. This is one of those days, and I have just sat back down with a hot meal when the phone rings.)

Me: “[Office], how can I help you?”

Client: “Hi, this is [Client].” *pauses* “I just noticed the time! Are you on your lunch break?”

Me: “I am; I just sat down, actually.” *laughs* “This gives my food time to cool off; it’s fresh from the microwave. How can I help you, [Client]?”

(She spends 50 minutes asking me questions, sometimes repetitive ones that I’ve already answered in length, before she finally winds down. I have gone from pleasant to agitated with time, because I’m hungry and my lunch break is almost over.)

Client: *sounding gleeful* “I bet your food is ice cold now, isn’t it?”

Me: “It is.”

Client: *laughs and hangs up*

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