Stephanie Is The Victim In All This

, , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

(After moving into our home, we receive occasional phone calls asking to set up a hair-styling appointment. A little online research shows that our new phone number once belonged to a local hair salon. The salon went out of business many years ago, but some online business directories still have the listing. For almost all the callers, telling them that they’ve reached a private residence is enough; they apologize and hang up. One caller refuses to accept that:)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yeah, uh, this is [Caller], and I need to make an appointment.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is a private residence. We’re not a hair salon.”

Caller: “But I need to get my hair done.”

Me: “Wish I could help, but that salon is out of business. We just got their phone number.”

Caller: *apparently referring to their computer* “But this says you’re open! I need to get my hair done next Thursday.”

Me: *giving up* “Okay, fine. What time next Thursday?”

Caller: “Between 10:00 and 11:00, but I’d like Stephanie. Does she still work there?”

Me: *just making stuff up now* “Yes, she does, and you’re in luck; Stephanie has an opening at 10:30.”

Caller: “Okay, that’ll work.”

Me: “See you then!”

(I am curious where the caller went that day, but I never heard from her again.)

Turning Into A Soap Opera

, , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

(I am working as a volunteer in a reenactment of Bethlehem at the time of the birth of Christ. I am working as a soap maker with three other women and a two-year-old. One half of the area is our shop and the other is a living area. I am working in the shop, explaining soap making to curious guests and handing out samples to children)

Me: “Hello, welcome to my soap shop!”

Guest: *says something in Spanish*

Daughter: *translates* “Can she have one of those?” *points to samples*

(I normally only give samples to children, but if an adult asks I don’t refuse.)

Me: “Here you go!”

(The lady takes the sample and pops it in her mouth. Her daughter and I lock eyes. The soap we have on display is homemade and I get told it looks like cheese all the time.)

Daughter: “Jabon!” *the Spanish word for soap; something I learned from the encounter*

(They leave.)

Coworker: “Do you need a break?”

Me: “Of course!”

(I delight the guests by playing dreidel with the baby until my coworker comes over and whispers to me.)

Coworker: “We had a lady come and eat some of the myrrh.”

(Myrrh is an amber-rock-looking thing that smells good. One of our soaps is made with it and it’s one of the gifts the Wise Men gave to Jesus so we have it on display.)

Me: *facepalm* “It’s going to be a long night.”

Unfiltered Story #158353

, , | | Unfiltered | July 20, 2019

I answer the phone at work.

Me: We’re having a great day at [restaurant] in [city]. This is [my name]. How may I help you?

Them: Is this [hospital]?

Me: I’m sorry, what was that?

Them: Is this [hospital]?

Me: No… This is [restaurant]…

Unfiltered Story #158339

, , | | Unfiltered | July 19, 2019

This happened at my first job in a popular fast food place when I had just gotten out of homeschooling so I was a bit awkward and my assistant manager had given me tips on what to say, customer service and stuff like that. A couple walks in and the guy comes up to the counter first.
Me: Hello welcome to [place] what can I get for you today?
Just then the girl pushes him out of the way and glares at me while placing her order and doesn’t let him speak at all
Me: Thank you for your order they will bring it to your table and have a nice night
Girl: whatever bitch
I’m a bit shocked but I keep my cool and watch as they sit in the table behind my assistant manager who is doing paperwork. Since it is pretty empty aside from the customer my other manager tells me to do litter pickup outside which requires I wear a reflective vest. I am almost finished when a truck comes roaring past almost hitting me and I hear a woman yell WHORE!! At me.
I am visibly shaken when I walk in and my assistant manager comes over to me
Manager: hey are you ok? What happened?
Me: I think the lady that was in here earlier almost ran me over and called me a whore
Manager: I actually know her and am going to speak to her parents. The whole time they were eating she kept talking about how you were trying to steal her boyfriend and calling all kinds of horrible names. Why don’t you take a break and get yourself an ice cream or something? It’s on me.
I did get the ice cream and quit about a month later but my manager did indeed talk to her parents and she had to come apologize to me later.

Unfiltered Story #158319

, , | | Unfiltered | July 17, 2019

Me: your total is ________
Woman: my son wants me to ask if we could have a butt load of salsas.
Me: a butt load of salsas? Let me see if we have a butt load of salsas *trying to keep a straight face*
Woman: *starts laughing* we got the right girl to take our order today!
Boy: it was my brother in the back I swear! It wasn’t me!
Me: *I haND them their food* and in this small plastic bag is your butt load of salsas.
We all laugh!