Unfiltered Story #194485

, , , | Unfiltered | May 22, 2020

I work for a popular candle/ body fragrance store. An older lady walks in & I greet her.
Me: Hi welcome to [store name]. Can I help you find anything today?
Customer: Hi, I’m looking for Honolulu Sun hand soap?
Me: Oh I’m sorry, but that only comes out during the summer!
We were barely coming out of winter.
Customer: *Angrily*You never have the soap I want!! That’s the only soap I want & you never have it!!!
At this point a few customers are staring at us.
Me: I’m sorry, perhaps I could help you find something similar?
Before she could say anything, my manager comes over & asks what was wrong. The customer then tells her & my manager sends me to the cash wrap to check out some customers. The customer I was checking out laughed at the situation she just heard.
Customer: well you guys always have the soaps I want!
I smile at her & thank her.

Schooling The Secretary On Her Paperwork Skills

, , , , , | Working | May 14, 2020

I move to Texas in 2009. Everyone says I will get a teaching position easily, since I teach math. However, jobs are not forthcoming.

I finally get an interview with a school after applying on their district’s website. The interview is on a Thursday, so I am not expecting any news until the following week. Also, schools rarely call back candidates who they do not hire.

On Tuesday morning the next week, I get a call at home. My phone identifies it as the school, so I’m excited to answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Secretary: “Hello, Mr. [My Name]. This is [High School] in [District]. We’d like to schedule you for an interview. Would you be available tomorrow morning?”

I’m thinking it is a second interview to meet more staff.

Me: “Oh, that’d be great. Is there anything extra you’d like me to bring to this second interview?”

Secretary: *Pause* “Second interview?”

Me: “I interviewed with your principal last Thursday.”

Secretary: “Oh… Never mind.” *Click*

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Whales And Dolphins And Snakes, Oh My!

, , , , , | Right | May 12, 2020

These are multiple accounts of working at a waterpark, zoo, and theme park as a caricature artist.

Guest #1: “That’s where the whale is at, right? He lives there.”

I see he’s pointing to our central fresh-water lake where we have the ski show.

Me: *Pause* “No.”

Guest #2: *To her son* “See, snakes don’t have genders like worms, and they don’t have any bones.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, snakes are mostly just a spine and a lot of ribs.”

Guest #2: “Oh, I think I know what I’m talking about, honey.”

Child: “I like dolphins!”

Me: “Why do you like dolphins?”

Child: “Because they eat other dolphins!”

A guest motions to the flamingo.

Guest #3: *To their child* “Look, it’s a flamingo!”

The guest points at me.

Guest #3: “Look, it’s an artist!”

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Ding-Dong-Ditch, Drop, And Dial Dad

, , , , , , , | Friendly | May 2, 2020

It is summer, and I am unemployed. I’m at my family’s garden-style apartment filling out online applications. My computer desk is near our front door. 

I hear a knock and get up to answer. I hear some scurrying as I get to the door. When I open it, nobody is there. I just see the empty landing for our apartment and three others on the same level.

This knock-and-run occurs a couple more times over the next couple of hours, with the knockers — I’ve heard multiple giggles after the subsequent knockings — running off each time.

For what turns out to be the final time, I’m standing next to the door. The knock comes and I quickly open the door. Surprised, I see three teens take off down the stairs on either side of the landing. I also hear a clattering of one of the boys’ cell phones as it drops onto the landing. 

I casually go over and pick up the phone. I go back inside and start looking over the phone.

A minute later, I hear a knock but no running. Through the door, I address the knocker.

Me: “Hello?”

Boy: “Hi, I was wondering if I could have my phone back. It fell out of my pocket.”

Me: “That’s okay. I’m just going to call the listing for ‘Dad,’ and he can pick it up after he gets home from work.”

Boy: *Dejectedly* “Okay.”

I called “Dad” and explained what was happening. He agreed for me to hold the phone until that evening. It turned out to be the resident of the apartment diagonal to mine on the same landing. He apologized, and I assume he gave his son a good talking-to.

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Hamburgers Are The Cure

, , , , , , , | Right | April 1, 2020

I was talking with the waiter at a restaurant yesterday about how crazy the people are being about buying supplies due to the panic buying. My local grocery store was out of expected items such as water, toilet paper, and paper towels. The cheap eggs were gone, but the more expensive eggs were untouched. More unexpected to me, at least, was that shelves were bare of other basics like hamburgers.

The waiter indicated they have been having problems too: people were stealing the toilet paper from their restrooms. I can just imagine the next customer in the restroom…

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