Another Day, Another Mouth-Breather

, , , , , | Right | April 16, 2021

I’m at the eye doctor waiting to be called when a guy comes in and loudly announces: 

Customer: “I guess I have to put on the face diaper.”

He puts on the mask but forgets to cover his nose.

Receptionist: “Please cover your nose.”

Customer: “I guess y’all don’t want me to be able to breathe. 666, a new world order is coming.”

He left without even letting them know what it was he needed.

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Insert Several Clapping Emoji Here

, , , , , | Right | February 11, 2021

I am shopping for supplies for a charity I help run. There is one other customer in the same aisle as me: a young woman in a polo and dark pants. Employees of this store wear a different color polo and khaki pants. Another customer turns down the aisle and makes a beeline for the young woman.

Customer: “You. Where are your [product]s? I’ve been all over and I can’t find it. Your store is horribly organized.”

Young Woman: “Oh, I don’t work here, but I think—”

Customer: *Cutting her off* “I insist that you show me where they are, now! I am in quite a hurry!”

The young woman abruptly claps her hands several times, right in the other customer’s face. She looks startled and stops talking.

Young Woman: “Li-sten! I. Don’t. Work. Here.”

Customer: “Uh… but I need—”

Young Woman: “I. Don’t. Work. Here.”

She clapped a couple more times when the customer tried to speak, and finally, the customer slunk off to find someone who actually worked there. I gave the young woman a golf clap and we shared an eye roll before we both got back to shopping.

This story is part of our Best Of February 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of February 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of February 2021 roundup!

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Num-Locked Into A Vicious Cycle

, , , , , | Right | January 6, 2021

Me: “IT help line; this is [My Name].”

High-Maintenance User: “Hi, [My Name]. Remember when you did all that work on my computer yesterday? Well, I can’t log in this morning! Did you do something to the network last night?”

IT “doing something to the network last night” is the primary cause of all problems, according to this user.

Me: “Noooo…”

I am already going to unlock the account.

Me: “Let’s get you unlocked here.”

High-Maintenance User: *Frantic typing* “It still won’t let me log in! Did you do something? Let’s just reset my password!”

During this whole time, he is not letting me answer. But if he wants to reset his password, no skin off my nose.

Me: “Okay… the new password is [new password with numbers and letters].”

High-Maintenance User: *Increasingly frantic* “It’s still not working! It’s not… Oh, wait. I had the Number-Lock key off. That’s why I couldn’t log in, to begin with!”

Another satisfied customer… for now.

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Times Are A-Changin’

, , , , , , | Working | December 16, 2020

I have to run some errands and I drag my college-age son along. As we are heading home, I stop by a fast food Chinese restaurant to get him food as a thank-you.

Me: “Here are twenty bucks for lunch. I don’t want to get out of the car.”

He came back with the food, the receipt, and $11.00 in change. The receipt showed that I was short by $0.76. I guess the cashier didn’t give him any coins due to the current coin shortage in the US. If it had been less than fifty cents, I would have let it slide, but I sent my son back to the restaurant to ask for a gift card for the missing $0.76.

I was surprised to see my son come back with $0.76 and not a gift card. I guess they did have coins after all.

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Next, They’ll Be Assigned To Clean The Wings Of The Planes… In Flight

, , , , , , | Working | July 15, 2020

At my job, when the operations manager is off, I’m in charge of making the schedule that tells our employees what area they will be working in. We train our employees in every area for at least a week before we send them out on their own.

We work at an airport, so some of the areas we clean are outside and spread out from one side of the airport to the other. I’m in charge of our second shift, which starts at 2:00 pm.

Employee: “Boss lady, you need to move me; I don’t want to be outside.”

Me: “It’s where you are scheduled to be.”

Employee: “But I don’t want to be out there!”

At this point, they are whining.

Me: “I’m not moving you; you know the area.”

They ask the first shift supervisor if they can talk to them. They both walk out, and after five minutes, the supervisor comes in and gets documentation papers for the employee. After the first shift supervisor leaves, I get a phone call from our operations manager.

Manager: “I got a call from [Employee] saying you won’t move them from outside. I want them to stay out there, but let’s go ahead and move people around so they aren’t outside anymore.”

Me: “I think they are doing documentation on me for not moving them.”

Manager: “I know they are; they told me when they called. Don’t worry; they can’t get you in trouble for doing your job.”

After I hang up with the operations manager, the employee calls me.

Employee: “I’m in the chapel writing my documentations and trying to get ahold of [Human Resources Manager] and [Main Boss].”

Me: “That’s fine, but when you are done, you are now in terminal A food court.”

Employee: “Okay.”

After two and a half hours, the employee finally steps back into the office to get what they need for their area. When the employee leaves, I call the operations manager.

Me: “[Operations Manager], they just now came into the office to get their stuff; they were in the chapel for two and a half hours.”

Manager: “Really? All right, I’m going to call [Main Boss] and see what they want to do.”

Me: “Okay.”

The operations manager calls back after five minutes.

Manager: “[Main Boss] said that the employee will not be getting paid for those two and a half hours since nothing happened that required them to do documentation. I will let the employee know.”

Me: “All right, thank you.”

I think it is over until the employee comes up to me with a scowl.

Employee: “I don’t think it’s fair that I’m not getting paid since I had to be the one to get the schedule corrected after you did it wrong.”

Me: “The schedule wasn’t wrong; you just didn’t like where you were at and threw a fit.”

The employee gave me a nasty look and walked off.

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